Would you also be annoyed with your significant others decision?

I have like 145 people on my side of the fam who expect to be at my wedding. If it were up to my mom and grandparents, they’d force me to invite them. But at this point, im only inviting 20 of 145 people because most of those people are rude and dont even like me and my fam. They talk about us behind our backs and dont care for us. Yet they expect to be apart of my big day. Im annoyed with my boyfriend because its the same for him. He has lots of fam who he sees once every few years. They hardly communicate, yet he's forcing me to invite them. The whole point of me doing a destination wedding was to escape my fam who doesn't travel much. But his extended fam travels a lot and i didn't want them there since they dont even care for him. he's an idiot for wanting to spend money on these people who we dont even communicate with. He recently saw them for the first time in years and because that trip went swell, he's kissing their asses. Am i wrong to be annoyed that I might not get the intimate wedding of my dreams? How would you feel? Plus i’ll prob look dumb because my mom just tld me that maybe only 5 of 20 people on my side might make it. His side will be the whole wedding ig #FeelFreeToList #iTheWed
Updates:
My fam is broke with the exception of my sperm donor who wants me to beg his wife to py for the wedding. i refuse to be a suckup. So i’ll be payin for the majority of this wedding since my boyfriend will possibly be near broke after college. I want my dream ceremony and am willing to pay for it. I already gave up my dream reception and im Not giving up my dream ceremony too. So im tryna hqve a small intimate destination wedding that i can afford to celebrate with the 20-40 people we actually talk to

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Tell him that you don't want to spend so much for people who don't care about you, he shouldn't invite people just for the sake of it, he should invite the people who are close to him and who he actually knows rather than some people who he meets every couple of years...

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    • Exactly i told him! But he's tryna keep everyone happy and is tryna invite them anyway. Ugh

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    • I've tried for 6 months to tell him

    • Try it again but this time, you make sure that he hears you and that he agrees, it's not only his wedding, if you don't want them there, he has to understand and frankly he should grow up because that would not be the way you want to start your marriage...

  • To me there is no point in calling 100 plus people in your wedding that you barely talk to them. I mean a wedding is supposed to be your special day, a moment you share with the people that are close to you. Personally I would make a wedding even with 10 people. I would call some close friends, like 3-6 , some of my cousins ( because I have so many cousins that some of them, I've never met at all and what the hell, I dont even have a responsibility to call them to my wedding). Although I would like to make a huge wedding, a small one is more special.

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    • Yes hats exactly whatbi want to do but he's the one trying to invite thse strangers

    • What's the point to call them if they gonna judge you after

    • I don't know why he wants them there. he's tryna keep these idiots happy when theyre never happy

Most Helpful Girls

  • It’s your day. And it’s meant to be sacred and special and if you don’t want all of those people there, then don’t invite them. Tell him you want a small, intimate wedding. If he chooses to invite all the other people then let him pay for everything but let him know that you won’t be happy. And nobody wants a pissed off bride/wife. Not a good way to start the new beginning.

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    • I've told him this for 6 months now. Yet he keeps tryna invite fam he doenst associate with. he's tryna make everyone happy when he's really makin me mad. Im most likely paying for the majority of the wedding because he's cheap. So if inchoose a cvwnue that only allows 40 guests, then he’ll end up lookin stupid when half are standing outside unable to get in

  • Yes I would because this is our day and we're supposed to enjoy, they are not even making a valuable contribution to the wedding and most likely might downgrade because of you didn't exactly reach their expectation. This is your day whether it be two or three people do the best you can and don't go over and beyond for people who wouldn't care two shit in the morning. So he needs to understand that's it no longer pleasing them with an invitation but pleasing you guys with a beautiful wedding. That's why it has cameras record everything and they shall get a video watch it or not who gives af (sorry for cursing my lady) By the waaaaayyyy congratulation let's do the happy dance ooohhh yeahhh yeahhh slay girl slay

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    • Lol i had the same, like send these hoes a video haha 😂🙌

    • Hahaha that's like the first thing that came to my mind what happened to pictures and videos they bitches don't need a whole invitation

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What Guys Said 20

  • Tell them it's your wedding and fiscally it doesn't make sense to invite that many people when neighter of you can afford it. Honestly if I wanted to get married that bad it's about the bond and not the wedding I'd just go to the courthouse and save the money for better investments. If card b can get married in a basement and chance the rapper can get married in a backyard and their millionaire syou should chill lol

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  • It's your day, enjoy it regardless, the size of the audience is irrelevant! At the end of the day regardless of how many people witness the ceremony the reality is 2 people become 1, that's the only numbers that really count.

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    • No it matters when u gotta pay to feed all these extra people

    • Why let your day be concerned with a few people criticizing the size of the buffet, I'm sure they will get over it.

  • No this is big no as its your day not your family's. .. you invite only who you want to share that day with not people who think they are in titled to go

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  • I would say you're right Desi. I'm also not into big expensive parties so I'd invite as few people as possible...

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  • I'd just say fuck it and only invite who you wand and not let anyone push you around

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    • I've told him this for 6 months now. Yet he keeps tryna invite fam he doenst associate with. he's tryna make everyone happy when he's really makin me mad. Im most likely paying for the majority of the wedding because he's cheap. So if I choose a venue that only allows 40 guests, then he’ll end up lookin stupid when half are standing outside unable to get in

    • Weddings aren't about the guys anyway so his option barely matters even though it matters

  • I suggest that you look at it as both of your weddings. My first wedding I had NO input in. I was told what I would wear, who I could invite, who was in the wedding, what it was going to look like, etc. etc. I felt like a passenger rather then a participant. My mother, my aunt and my bride were the planners, the creators, the deciders. It actually created a point of contention between us, and probably led to my divorce. It was hard to be part of the participant.

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    • Yea he sounds like he's in your position. But at the samr time, im payin for more than him

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    • Okay, but what does he want?

    • To invite 50+ people we dont talk to

  • You should just invite people who you two are close to.

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  • No. he's probably just trying to keep it civil and to not make people grow bad feelings towards him.

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    • These people already dont care for him. Why should i spend $40-60 a plate for them

  • Don't be annoyed and I wouldn't like them because the thing about destination weddings everybody you invite isn't going to show up I promise you that so extend the invitation and out of 145 people 45 people may attend

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  • You’re pretty young... congratulations! I think that he should be allowed to invite however many people he likes and you the same. It’s a very big thing in yours and his life and it won’t happen again (hopefully)

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    • Im paying for the majority. And he doesn't even communicate with them

    • They’re gonna be left out and hold it over him regardless and if there already is a disconnect between him and then it will only widen it.

  • Yeah, it kinda sucks but I also think he's trying to keep the peace buts it's kinda of a bogus way to do it though...

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  • It’s normal to invite your family, even the ones you barely Communicate with. You can’t just exclude them lol
    Why do you want him to exclude them from
    The wedding?

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    • Because he's cheap. I want a nice elegant wedding and was willing to cut people i dont talk to in order to have one. If we have more people then it’ll prob look cheap like half the wedding i see these days done at banquet halls. I refuse to have that

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    • 😂😂
      Wish a few of us could come lol... wouldn’t that be crazy? Hahah

    • I once invited like 3 GAGers to the ceremony. Now in terms of the actual afterparty, we mainly just going to club so if we see y'all at the club alrighty 🙌

  • It's nice of him to try civility. However, blood only goes so deep. There are people that even if I were blood related to that I would not bother with.

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    • Exactly. I don't know why he's being a suckup. They already gotta pay for a plane ticket and hotel to come, so its mot likenwe’re getting a gift outta them. I really dont want these distant people there

    • An important part of a relationship is to respect each other's wants and needs. I hope he's able to at least understand where you are coming from.

    • he's not. I express this too him every few months apart for a year now. He never understands

  • invite em.. You get more stuff!
    On the other hand, youd have to put up with their crap for a few days..
    Also, you could also leave the next day after the wedding...

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    • But not in this case. Both the wedding ceremony and after party are in Vegas. So i doubt we’re getting gifts since guests have to pay for their plane tickets and hotels.

  • Realistically, you can't invite everyone in your whole families to your wedding. That's why it helps to have a long talk in private and plan things out beforehand

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  • 20 is fine. He has to be nice to them. We are talking wedding gifts here. I would be mad too. It's your day and his day. That is the whole point of getting married.

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    • We’re prob not getting gifts since they gotta pay for plane and hotel. Plus he doesn't talk to them so i dont want them incited since im paying yhe majority

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    • Hey, I just found this link for wedding on the beach: sugarbeachweddings.com/.../

      Another company does yacht weddings.

    • Yea i want my bach party on a yachtbhut not my wedding

  • here, we have no option but to invite everyone and i hate that too (but not that much coz my extended family is good)

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  • gotta love our culture. Huge ass fam who talks shit behind our backs. Oh so and so wedding and so and so... *PFFFT*

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    • Lol i just ain't tryna invite them at this point

    • too many people.. way too many people. If I put both my father who passed and my moms side all together. cousins, aunts, uncles, and everyone else Id have about the same. But Im not close to my fathers side, and as for my moms side, people passed, and people moved away. I dont even want a big wedding when I get there. I dont even have a best man, my so called friend who was suppose to be isn't around much...

  • Im in fovor of a small but sweet wedding.

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What Girls Said 9

  • Y’all planning a wedding? When did he propose? 😃

    But anyways, ummm... I don't know why your dude is being irrational but something is not right 😂 first the damn cheese sticks, and now this? He’s doing things that doesn’t make sense.
    Maybe something is up with him... I don't know
    But if I were in your position I would be beyond pissed off. It seemed like he barely wanted to be married, now he wants to be ringleader... a terrible one at that.

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    • Girl yes he's ugh. Like he makes no sense. Been battling with him about cheesesticks and extended fam for over 6 months now

  • I agree with you, inviting to many people especially those family members that could care less. Plus it's more expensive and a massive headache. I want to have a small intimate wedding because it's the best.

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    • Yea he's being an idiot

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    • Is also the fact that im payin for the majority of the wedding. He cheap af

    • What? The majority? Yeah I'd tell him no too

  • Depend who pay for it, I would say pay for you fam and he pay for his fam. If you're also paying for his fam he should only invite those who are close to him not everyone.

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    • Exactly im payin for the maJority

    • So you should get to decide how many people he can bring and all. If you're paying for it, he shouldn't complain or make demand like that.

  • It’s also his big day too... if he wants them there for whatever reason then I don't know see why not. It’s good to be the bigger person and not exclude them despite whatever differences they may have.

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    • But he's broke af and will have to pay outta pocket for these people to have a seat at the cermony and then to eat after. The dream wedding venues i have have guests limits of like 30-50 people. he's fckin thisnup

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    • @heyyyyy69 wow never realized you were 30. You look 21. But yea nYc is expensive

    • I'm 27 lol my Google has a bs age on it

  • Who's paying for the wedding? If it's you both then Tell him if he is willing to cash out extra $ then he can invite them, if not then no.

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    • Im mostly paying for it. he's cheap

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    • ^ in our culture our guests don't pay anything for our weddings so I don't know. at least in my community, I don't know about others ofc.

      Destination weddings though it makes sense for them to pay their own flight tickets and stuff.

    • No body pays to attend a wedding.. but you give the bride and groom some money out of respect
      @nakhrewali

  • Another reason why I'm not getting married. Lol

    But seriously, keep in mind that just bc he's inviting that many people, that doesn't mean that they're all going to be there.

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    • But his extended fam is practically rich. They travel EVERYWHERE. They’ll be there if invited 😒

    • I still don't think that's a guarantee that they'll all be there, but maybe try talking to him about only inviting the people that he's closest to?

    • I've tried for 6 months now

  • Don’t be so selfish. Have you even discussed this with him? I’d start there

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    • We discussed this for 6 months now. So how am i selfish? Im the one pying for the majority. Of course im pissed he wants to invite a bunhc of peeps he never speaks to

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    • I tried for 6 months. Nothings working anymore. Ever since he's “grown a backbone” he's determined to have his way

    • Be more manipulative then. Lol. Try hard. You’ll figure it out...

  • He's an idiot

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  • Yeah, just a small wedding is good enough.
    @JSkiy

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