Everyone keeps his/her name.By adopting the husband's name, part of the girl's identity is lost.If a couple has only girls as offsprings and those girls take the name of their respective husband when marrying, then the name line ends with the girls getting married.There is no legal justification why a partner should take the name of the other. Those are ancient beliefs in a patriarchy dominated society. A man could very well be the last one in the lineage of those bearing his name. It does not make him be less if he adopts the name of the wife.But to avoid conflicts, each spouse should keep their own name.As for children, they will have to chose for one or the other once they reach the age of consent for example and not be imposed on them like it is the case nowadays.
Sharing the same name is considered incest where I’m from. We ditched that outdated tradition generations ago. Women aren’t supposed to be property anymore in this day and age. Then again engagement rings and all that bullshit isn’t exactly high on the bucket list here either. Women and men are more equal.
Where do you live?
Women will always be property if they want to be equal value to a man. A woman who is independent and "equal" is completely worthless. A woman who submits to her husband completely is worth everything.
It's just a tradition, it's got nothing to do with ownership lmfao just like being handed away by your dad is not just a tradition.
@bamesjond0069 😂😂 whatever you need to tell yourself to feel masculine. My husband isn’t threatened by my independence, in fact it’s party why he loves me. We are lovers but also best friends. I am sure there are some women left who want to be treated like second rate citizens so have fun with those. But most women I know want a partner not a dominator or a wallet.
@Ámayas_20 do you know the history of last names? Because it has everything to do with property. Somewhere around the mid ages lords were having trouble distinguishing between the farmers that rented their lands. Last names back then were only given to the wealthiest. So they decided to give last names to men. Only men as they were the only ones allowed to own land, tools etc. when a woman married a man named Brown she wouldn’t be called Mrs Sarah Brown, she was always referred to as a the wife of Benjamin Brown as she was seen as his property. The elite in the UK after a while felt like that was unfair so they changed it so that the woman took the mans name and would be referred to as mrs Sarah Brown.
I don't live in history I live in the modern day where it has nothing to do with ownership, I'm assuming you're a feminist since you live in the past?
@Ámayas_20 it is considered tradition to take the husbands name where you are from, no? That tradition dates back to when women were property. So yes it is linked to that. Like it or not 🤷🏻♀️ You weren’t even aware of where your tradition came from lolHaha is that all you got? There are actually multiple countries who no longer follow that tradition. So all women in those countries are by definition feminist? 😂 You sound like a dumb broad.
Just because I'm not stupid enough to say because something used to mean something means it always will doesn't mean I don't know where it comes from, I just have enough sense and critical thinking ability to understand that the meanings of things change or they lose the meaning all together and it just becomes a cute tradition. You on the other hand clearly have no capacity for such things so should really leave those who do to have the conversations.
@Ámayas_20 I live in Belgium as well, and it's now considered weird if anyone changes their name when marrying. It has EVERYTHING to do with property and a woman not being an individual but belonging to either their father or their husband. We abolished the tradition BECAUSE of the history behind it. Children don't have to take their father's name either, they can take a double last name, their mother's name or their father's name.The "traditions" were simply outdated and nobody seemed to care about keeping them anyway.
@strawberrysouffle The tradition has no meaning any more other than a cute way of making people a family unit. There is nothing wrong with your culture not doing this or people even where it's the norm choosing against it but to say it has anything to do with property in this day and age is ridiculous and makes you come off very idiotic.
@Ámayas_20 The only thing I'm saying is where ot comes from, which is undoubtedly property, and why it was abandoned on Belgium, which is the same reason. There's no denying that, and hence you simply cannot say it has nothing to do with property. Read some of the answers on this question: there aren't just a few saying it's a woman's obligation to take the man's name because she is subject to him, or because she belongs to the man's family, or because it's some kind of reimbursement for having the man provide for her. Tell me that doesn't have to do with property. Why is the family unit defined by the man's name? History. The family was his property.
@strawberrysouffle You are not listening are you? I get it your country got their panties in a bunch about what something used to mean and decided to stop doing it, that's fine but stop acting like that's the meaning behind it TODAY.
@Ámayas_20 No need to get angry about that. We're having a civilised discussion here.What I mean is that, in my opinion, you cannot ignore the purpose something once had, even if it's just a tradition today. I'm also pointing out that some of the answers here (not yours, I understand you have a different stance on it) show a similar reasoning as to why a woman should take a man's name as was made when the habit (rule) was installed, meaning it isn't entirely a thing of the past.
@strawberrysouffle I'm really not sure why you thought I was angry but we'll just move past that. You really need to listen to me and understand the words I'm saying Today. It. Is. Just. A. Tradition. With. No. Meaning. Okay? Have you finally understood that because repeating this is honestly getting annoying, I'll reply to the rest once you get that point.
@Ámayas_20 Dear, I don't think continuing this discussion is a good idea. You're not reading my answers to your claim, just like you say I'm not reading your claim. Maybe I am misinterpreting your words, who knows, but this won't take us a step further. Good day.
@strawberrysouffle Don't be so patronising, if you don't get this and want to leave do so but don't be a dick about it.
She should. She expects the traditional responsibilities that fall on the man (every woman does, he needs to be the provider the protector etc.) ergo she should change her last name to his as this signifies that she is under his protection, his responsibility to take care of and is his family now. Her not changing it is nothing more then her stating that she wants all these privileges that he brings to the table but doesn't wish to actually acknowledge that he is doing that. Its like demanding a job title with all the benefits that come with it without the responsibilities attached to it.
If e were starting from the beginning, I would say that it doesn't matter whether the woman or the man change their name, but one of them should. Having a family name is a symbolic gesture of unity in a family and it has not caused significant problems in our culture in the past. Since we have a tradition of the woman changing her name, I would stay with that process, except that I recommend professional women continue to practice under their maiden name.
Have an opinion?
It really depends on the couple. The reason that women traditionally changed their last names even after they were no longer legally treated as property, is that men were still traditionally the breadwinners. It was thought that changing their name could interfere with their career. Nowadays, either partner could have a career that could be a problem. Not just the man. For me, I’m not all that fond of my last name. And I’m going to teach. Lots of teachers change their last name and it’s no problem. But I would want to give my last name as a middle name to one of my sons. I also think that hyphenation is a great tool.
All of he above.If he wants to or she doesn’t want to , it doesn’t matter.It’s a personal choice.As long as you’re happy who cares?It’s only society’s conventions that expect both of you to have the same name.That said, it makes life easier if you have he same name; Again, because society expects married couples to have the same name.
Whoever wants to. I'd personally change mine since it's long and complicated, but I don't think anyone should feel obligated to follow tradition, just whatever works best for the particular couple.
my last name is very common so I think i'll change mine... i'm pretty traditional and like it when a woman changes her last namehowever, I've seen families where the daughters take the mom's last name and the sons take the father's and i thought that's really cool!
Being married is suppose to mean two people becoming one. And since we give our children the fathers last name I feel taking the man's last name gives the family one family name to continue on. But if others want to do it differently that's their choice.
Neither. though in some jurisdictions anyone who either marries or divorces MAY change their name. Due to increasing security and identification needs, even where it is legal, the common law method is now rarely accepted with the exception of marriage but it can be either partner who takes the spouse's surname.
That's you and your partner's choice in my opinion. I personally would prefer to either take my husband's last name or just add his last name to mine.
Other: Neither, either or both. A surname can be anything you want, providing it is not done for fraudulent reasons. At least, in UK that is.
The answer isn't the same for everyone. You do what works for you. I'd love to take my husband's name.
The woman. Some traditions are good. I dont want to keep my father's name.
Whoever consents to in their relationship. Really it's up to the couple to decide for themselves how they want to do things. Screw tradition. I value freedom of choice.
I do believe that a married couple should have the same last name. But I'm for creating a new and original last name to be shared, rather than using one or the other partner's last name.
I don't like my father's name so I'll probably take my man's name.
Whoever thinks the name of the other is cooler, both or neither. They can decide.
I'm not sure yet. Maybe I take his Name, Maybe I hibernate like my mother, Maybe I keep my name. We will see
Your mother is a bear?
No the Name
The man should change his last name to divorcesucker.
I don’t think anyone “should.” I think it’s just case by case. Whatever you decide amongst yourselves.
Since i don't like my last name, i would want hers lol
Whoever has the least repetitive last name and the most COOLEST last name wins!
Neither. My name is my identity and I don't know why I'm supposed to be carrying my spouse's name. Where did this messed up tradition of women changing surname even come from in the first place?
Would never change my name for anyone. In return she can feel the same way.
If my husband is a benevolent trustworthy leader who provides for my needs (Eph 5:25-30) and puts my interests before his own (Phil 2:3-4) as the Bible commands, I will take his last name.
It's cool how it is now , if a guy took my surname that would cool too by me.
Do what you both want. If you like traditional, cool. If not, cool. If you want to do like an attorney I know and use both to create a new hybrid name, that's cool, too. Or if you are surnamed Lipshitz and Dumfukk, feel free to create a new name.
The one with the most common and/or uninteresting surname, unless none of them wants to change it.
Im gunna stay single for life cuz mg surname / family name is "Pee" (I am hokkien chinese). Imagine my theoretical future partner being called Mrs Pee 😂😂😂
These days, not sure it matters. I probably wouldn't. If wife wanted to keep name fair enough. My kids will have my name
Talk to each other, as it really doesn't matter either way. To some people it can be incredibly important. As long as the decision is made together.
Women hate men telling them to do anythingI just want my wife to bear my children, and for my children to bear my name. Thats all i care about.
The woman. That is how it has always been. It will just make things difficult for future historians if it changes now.What did the historians ever do to you?
You do realize there are many countries who never had this tradition or ditched it generations ago, right? And they function fine. In fact it’s much easier for historians to track family trees this way ;)
@Shutupman how is it easier? What name would the kids get?
Usually still the dad’s but that is up to the couple. It is easier since women don’t change their last name it is easier to track down lineages that go back multiple generations.
@Shutupman yeah but the kids names... How would two related kids with different names make it easier
What do you mean? Kids receive the same name, either dad or moms or it gets hyphenated.
the woman, im his nowthere's a hierachy.1. God2. Jesus3. Husband4. Wife5. Kids
Another religious nut
there is no such thing as god
@síocháin She is clueless about reality
@HeyThere94 I agree, I don't understand how Chriatians can't see the similarities of their religion share with islam. Christianity is just another barbaric semitic religion.
@síocháin Like how Christians think women should be submissive and how gay people should not have any rights
@HeyThere94 Science has proved that there are no superiority or inferiority in terms of IQ between genders. The physical superiority of men is all about the evolutionary process and it just makes them more selectable in some specific jobs such as construction. those specific jobs will lose their necessity as the number of AI Robots increases. Those people need to realize that we don't live in middle ages anymore.
I will not marry a woman who doesn't want to take my name. Not just because of all the practical reasons, but perhaps more importantly, because of what it says about her priorities and world view. I'm not going to commit my life to a woman like that.
Whoever wants too. Traditionally it is the woman takes the mans name, but it's the 21st century now you can change your name to whatever you like!
I would prefer if the woman changed her name, but I would be willing to change it so our names were both hyphenated.
Depends who has the better sounding last name and who’s more attached to it and whether changing their names would affect much
If you wanna change your last name you can but I picked both because I find the idea of both parties changing their last names hilarious
I think the woman should but it's up to the individual.
I believe in hyphenated..But i dont believe in marriage
It's the woman. There literally zero debate on the subject unless she super rich and her brand is her name otherwise your name is getting changed
Blessed be the fruit 🤦🏻♀️
I think both! It could be very beautiful and symbolic.
I’ll take my husband’s last name.
No one.. Why should someone change his surname because he got married?
To show commitment and companionship, and to solidify the creation of a new family.
Changing your name has nothing to do with companionship and commitment.. That's a stereotype
No, it's a symbol.
In the Middle Ages maybe..
The expectation that women adopt their husband’s surname at marriage is fundamentally rooted in patriarchal marital traditions. Historically, it represents the transfer of women’s subservience from father to husband, the subjugation of women’s identities to those of men.
Sure. But does it hurt anyone? No. So stop complaining about something you needn't subject yourself to.If it doesn't hold that meaning for you, fine. But most people disagree, and nobody is being hurt.
And if I marry a woman she and our children will bare my name.
Hey, you asked a question and I just told you my opinion. I don't see the problem
That's soo conformistWell if she agrees, more power to you
And most girls actually disagree if you've noticed..
This conformist shit is arbitrary and annoying.
Saying something is "conformist" just because it doesn't conform to your idea of counterculture is pretentious.
Conformism: "a person who conforms, especially unquestioningly, to the usual practices or standards of a group, society, etc." https://www.dictionary.com/browse/conformismDemanding women to take men's last name after marriage in order to prove their commitment, is conformist and narrow-minded. Women aren't your property
@Ámayas_20 the majority of people are still in favor of this antiquated tradition. Therefore it's conformist. Also, who asked your opinion and why are you coming to my comment?
The woman ofc, because the man is the head of the house, he leads and the woman follows...
The woman takes the man's last name. That is part of the tradition of marriage.
The reason women took the man's last name was because it was the man's responsibility to provide for the household (Ex 21:10, Prov 19:14, Eph 5:28-29), so it was his house. But you said that you think women should also provide for the house.
societies answered this centuries ago.
Generally its the woman , but its up to the couple …...
I would want my future wife to take my name, but I'm open to her hyphenating it
The one who wants to. If neither wants to then neither should.
Whoever wants to. It's up to the people getting married.
Of course, the sur name of man will be taken by woman... In fact, that will be her possession
And the man will buy her a house, clothes, food and everything she desires?
It depends if you are a traditionalist or not
The woman usually or she could just add it to hers at the end like some professionals do and celebrities
Whoever wants to, if anyone wants to at all
Whoever wants to change their name.
I’m old school. The woman should.
I am taking my fiancee name
Neither. It should never be forced.
there shouldn't be any surname altogether
Really can do whatever you want.
Go with what feels right for you
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