So sad and depressed, need to figure things out...

I've been married for 5 years and been unhappily married for 5 years. So why'd I get married if I was already unhappy? I love the idea of marriage. I want to be with that one person. I don't want to date and meet new guys.I want to be with one person. But I want to be with one person and be happy. I know marriage is not perfect but I do know it should not be this bad. I've always been a very happy and smiley person but not anymore. Haven't been in at least 3 years. Ugh, I'm so deeply sad and depressed right now. I don't know how to "shake it."

My husband doesn't seem to think it's THAT bad. It's just another "phase" and we'll get passed it. What he doesn't know is I've never just let it pass. So since this is an asking site here's my question:

Do guys in general not realize when their wife/girlfriend is done?

Oh there's so much more to this horrible, complicated story that I call a marriage but even the 2000 remaining characters wouldn't be enough to touch the beginning of it! I'd love to chat with someone. The anonymity is a huge plus on here :o)


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What Guys Said 2

  • I have talked to a few (between 5 and 10) ladies here who are unhappily married. Most of the ones I have talked to were in an affair, or were in the process of getting a divorce, or both. But they all had one thing in common: a boring husband who did not give them attention, show them affection, take the initiative to even ask “what is wrong?” or even attempt to change to make their wives’ lives better. For the most part, their husbands were bumps on a log.

    I can imagine that your husband is similar to the description above. The fact that he doesn’t notice that you are generally unhappy or does nothing about it is not a good sign. A good husband would make an effort to change something such that his wife is not so miserable (or at least be miserable as little as possible). So to answer your question, “Do guys in general not realize when their wife/girlfriend is done?” Good guys notice these things about their wives and girlfriends and rotten ones don’t. In general, not all guys are so oblivious as your husband and the husbands of the ladies I have talked to before.

    About the ladies who were having an affair, they claimed that the other man (not the husband) actually talked to them, showed affection, gave them attention, and gave them good sex: all of which their husbands did not do any of. I would not be surprised if you are having an affair right now. The genera advice I gave to the ladies who were having an affair was to divorce their husbands and spend more time with the man who actually appreciates you and enjoys talking to toy and enjoys spending time with you. Below are some links to these conversations with other ladies who were in your situation.



    Some women who have affairs are not always necessarily selfish, and betray their husbands without remorse. But of course some really are selfish bitches and are completely untrustworthy. But for the most part I have learned that women who have affairs have really lousy husbands and they ended up marrying the wrong man.

    There are good men out there who really see women as human beings and who want to converse with them and see them smile.

  • Hi there, From reading your story, it appears that your marriage isn't the real issue and that you're actually suffering from depression. It is treatable and you can return to that happy and smiley person you used to be.


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