Is it pointless to get married if you don't want children?

[CaptainOverthink]

It depends a lot upon you and your SO.

Symbolic:
Some people feel that it becomes more formal or more real when married. A promise, a vow.

Religious:
If you're a firm believer in a higher power then you might feel that it's necessary.

Legal & Heritage:
Some countries has laws about heritage and stuff that either requires marrige or some sort of prenup agreement for you to be seen as a couple in the eyes of the law.
It depends a lot upon where in the world you live, what country.


Generally I'd say that it's up to you and your SO if you think it's pointless or not.
Aside from possibly the legalities I personally think it's practically pointless, yes.
But it can be seen as an occasion to have a grand celebration, a good excuse in the name of love. Or a purely romantic gesture. A wedding can take any shape or form.

Then there's the dark side...
If say, there's a golddigger involved then its probable they aren't planning to have kids. Then just want to have the rights to half your stuff.
Always prenup, I say.

[dragoblack]

Marriage is meant to be a ritual of love and partnership.
Having children has nothing to do with it, but sadly over time the government and big buisness weaseled their way into it by having legal/tax contracts and putting a price tag on how much you love your S. O. by saying "if you buy a cheap dress and/or ring, you don't truly love them." And the government and church saying "if you get married you have to have kids, otherwise it is a loveless marriage"

Point is, if you get married, do it for love

[Anonymous]

Not in my opinion. I want to build a life together in the form of marriage - building a family even without kids. I DO think the pressure to get married by a certain time is less. One of my main reasons is in case I want to have a child - I know the benefits of marriage. But I might have a kid on my own by a certain age (coming up soon lol) if I'm not already married by then. If I subtract child, I could get married whenever. Not literally, and I wouldn't entertain men who dont want to get married, but more so than if kids are in the equation.

Marriage has a lot of tax benefits and rights/treatment in the event that one of you is ill or dying. They dont care about who your boyfriend or girlfriend is. Husband or wife is family by society's legal definitions. "I'm her boyfriend, damn it" is equal to "I'm a friend, I have no rights here."

[Starlight_Whimsy]

Marriage, in my opinion, is about your commitment to the other person. The desire to be with them forever and unite your lives together wholly. Having children is a choice that a married couple can make, but there’s no reason two people who don’t want kids but do want to be together forever shouldn’t be able to get married

[Unit1]

I'd like to point out the following.

My parents are still married. They fought almost every day (and I'm sure to this day they still fight). I got neglected, grew up penniless and starved.

I would prefer being a "bastard child" meaning having unmarried but loving parents, who didn't neglect me and didn't let me starve over what I've been through.

Marriage? How does it contribute to the kids (if having any) I do not see how marriage would protect a child from starvation or abuse.

[Goforit1010]

Pointless? No, not at all. I married wife 2.0 and neither of us wanted kids. I didn't think at my age, I wanted anymore. She had 2 and I had 1 from previous marriages. We were done. BUT... we still got married and still are after 22+yes. Kids aren't the ONLY reason to get married.

[Inexpensivefurniture]

I absolutely don't want kids, but I would still like to get married some day. I want to wear the ring and have everyone know it means I'm in love with someone and taken. I want someone to introduce me as their husband, and I want to be able to do the same. I don't need a big ceremony or anything, I don't even care if we do it at city hall. I just love the idea of solidifying my commitment to someone like that. Kids don't factor into it for me at all

[Thatoneguy5526]

MAny couples happily marry and spend their lives together without children. It saves money for vacations, renovations, etc. so there I should a practical side to not having kids. Eventually though some couple she get tired of the travel and excitement and decide to have kids afterwards which I should normal. If you don’t plan on having kids with them after you, as a couple, reach pinnacle then in my opinion it is pointless to get married.

[Josephinemunich]

You should get married before having Kids. And you shouldn‘t get married just because you want Kids. Marriage is like a promise; staying your whole life together. Having Kids is just the Cherry on top on having a Happy Marriage & Family :)

[Kitty46]

One of my aunts were married without kids. If I get married, I want a small wedding, I don’t need all the stress, anxiety & being very overwhelmed. My sister had migraines & too much stress planning her wedding, her mother-in-law to be back then was controlling, she wanted the wedding done her way.

[Anonymous]

No because the couple could be marrying out of love and devotion and they dont have to have kids if they dont want to. It's their choice. Not every married couple has kids, in fact there's couples who are just boyfriend and girlfriend and have kids but marriage is just that stronger tie for their children to see and i think it's better but thats just me. I know i definitely want children even if its just 1 and i hope to be married by that time too.

[SoapySandwich]

No it isn't pointless to get married.
There can be a few benefits, like a joint medical aid.
Marital tax deductions.
Filing taxes jointly.
Etc.

But that doesn't mean everyone should get married, it's up to you what you think is best for you.

[Simplismilez]

What does having kids have to do with marriage? I think people should get married before having kids because I see so many women popping out kid after kid each with a different dad.

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Marriage means different things to different people.

I'm never having kids, but I would like to marry. To me, marriage isn't for kids or for church or for tax. It's for the couple - as a symbol of dedication and commitment.

[linerys]

I love my boyfriend but I don’t love the idea of having kids.


We’ve discussed getting married in a few years, but kids are off the table for us. I got sterilized when I was 21, so there’s no changing our minds either.

[anon1903]

Children do not define marriage. In fact, in some cases they ruin it

[Owen_9527]

I think it’s not a “real question”.
If you guys wanna get married, just go get married. And then, if u two want children, just make children; if u don’t, then don’t make children. Unless someone asks you two to make children after your marriage and you have to follow him.
If you guys don’t wanna get married, just don’t.
What your real question is? I feel that u don’t want to tell us.

[lucky840]

Isn't it still pointless to get married if regardless of the paper you still love each other just the same? So what's the difference? I never wanted to get married even as a kid or a teen.. never wanted to. Only been married for a year and still feel I should have stuck with the non-married thing. It didn't make us love each other more.. well I mean it did for a minute but that's the hunny-moon period. And that happens regardless you been together for 10 years or 2.

[secretgirlxx]

If both of them don’t want to kids and want to get married I don’t see no issue but if one them want kids at some point I can see that creating issues in the future to where things might not necessarily work out in the future.

[Anonymous]

As a man no reason-with or without kids. Women today view men as a means to an end. They slut around till their "bio-clocks" go off and they want to calf. Then they get demanding about marriage, squirt a few kids and then either work her man to death to support them or divorce him and make him subsidize them and herself. You are nothing but a wallet and any sex goes when the kids come. Seriously man, run like hell. There is NOTHING in marriage for a man these days!

[Anonymous]

It’s pointless to get married period bro. All it is, is a ceremony with a certificate. It changes some benefits and the way you have to file taxes but nothing more. The relationship will remain the same it was before. Marriage is all marketing and it’s marketed towards women.

[hahahmm]

For the sake of argument let’s say marriage is all about having kids. Well most women today suck at being mothers & finding good mother material would be a highly valuable part of wife material

[Stephrose88]

I don't know... I always said I wouldn't get married again after my shit marriage... But I reconnected with the person I want to spend my life with and if I want to be with him and only him then why not?

[Kuressento]

Not really, some couple can't have kids, other have this what happens kind of notion and some are not ready to have kids, financially, time to raise a kid or even the patient to be a parent. A parent itself is a job with little to no gain if you think of it in logical reason. Emotionally is another story. Beside you can still have kids even though you are not married or engaged.

[likelyOK]

No as long as ur honest their is lots of people who don’t want kids. I’m not one of them but there are plenty to choose from

[NopeWhatTime]

Note my age, but if both spouses do not want children, then it's perfectly fine to get married. Seems like a perfect arrangement to me, and children are not always a part of marriage.

[mistixs]

Not pointless. Love and commitment can exist with or without kids

[I-C3_ME]

These days marriage it self is pointless to me, though I'll probably get married at some point cuz i have a feeling most women I'm into want to get married so fml.

But answer your question, no it's not pointless if it means much to your relationship. It's an open statement of love and companionship, accept your spouses past present and future in a ceremony of memories

The non romantic answer:

No it's fine

[93_n_on]

Omg this is what needs of the dumbass sleep rumors about me. I don't have kids now or am expecting I say that a lot cause some chicks lie about that and say we have kids. I do want kids in the future I just don't have any now. Same thing about women, I don't hate all women just certain individuals

[sheikalana]

Not it's not pointless at all. Marriage is not only about having children.

[JaneDoe377]

I don't think so but it's about what you want. I am not having children but i do want to get married.

[Tyme1313]

Marriage isn’t even necessary to have kids either. There is no reason to get married in general.

[Berethor]

Yes in most cases it pointless to get married if a man and/or a woman don't want children.

[supercutebutt]

If one of them needs health insurance, then it would make sense. In my dumb country of America at least.

[Jamie05rhs]

No, it's not pointless. Marriage isn't about children. (Though if you are going to have children it's much better to get married first.)

[kingofthellamas]

I'm not clear that there is purpose to marriage, children or not. Marriage isn't more important if you have kids.

[UnpopularOpinion5]

i think marriage is stupid

why chain urself to someone u may fall out of love with and wanna get away from in the future?

if u truly love the person and know u will both stick together forever, then marriage is not needed cos u know u won't separate.
why chain urself to someone when its not needed? ... pure stupidity

[DavidHart]

Marriage = Commitment = Responsibility (towards own partner)

Having kids or not is insignificant to marriage.

[PhoenixAl]

You get married and have no kids the same as you can have kids without getting married. It's 2020 we still discussing these kind of matters lol

[Anonymous]

Kids shouldn't be the sole reason you get married. But marriage in general to me is almost pointless. Pointless meaning more unnecessary.

[MrKinktastic]

Nah, it’s still a ritual of commitment and demonstrates a certain level of dedication to the relationship.


Plus if you plan it right they can be fun.

[Alyssa11]

No, I don't think so. Love matters at the end of the day.

[Midnight_Kiss]

Children aren't a reason for marriage, you can marry and not have/want children, just the same as you can have children out of wedlock.

[SunnyCaliGirl]

Legally it secured the bag, unless the couple separates of course, there are many tax benefits to being married

[GlitterFairy16]

No getting married is about telling people that you're in love and ready to spend your life as one with the person you love most

[sszatkow]

Depends on if you want to be married. Financially, ask someone about tax benefits. It’s also a pretty good way to chain down your partner for life, if you’re into that.

[KrakenAttackin]

No man should get married no matter what the circumstances are. You are dooming yourself to be miserable.

[Saville_Row]

Of course. He's supposed to be your companion, not just the father/mother of your children.

[CuriousCat123]

Loving your partner and wanting kids are two different worlds.

[TheLawAroundHere]

No way. When we married, i was 33. She was 35. We got together BECAUSE we dont want kids.

[Dsg1193]

Nope, the relationship is just as substantial, regardless if children are involved

[scorpy04]

Marriage is not a want or not Its a solid romantic commitment Its the ultimate of adjoining to one another Not something you have to do

[Citizenkirk]

Living focils need not 😟

[Anonymous]

No. I know a few couples who are married & don’t have kids.
Theyve been married for years & travel.
Just because you don’t want kids doesn’t mean you shouldn’t get married.

[InferiorElegy]

If they both don't want kids, then no it's not pointless. If one of them wanted kids but the other didn't, then yes it'd be pointless to get married.

[ProLife]

Yes for most women it is pointless, kids bring in money meaning the divorce money will raise for them once they decide to get divorced from their hubby. So yes most women will only get married if its involved bringing kids to this lunatic world.

[Acidgamer]

Marriage is not just about kids it's proving to the world that you love this person and you will hold their title until the end of the line and even then stick together

[Anonymous]

Not clear to me what the advantage is in that case.

[Anonymous]

For a man, yes. In fact, it's worse than pointless today.

[navyrobin]

I think yeah. You’ll get bored of each other eventually because you don’t have shared responsibilities.

[claudear]

You good to get married if it was an agreement between you two not to have kids

[Iamcoming]

No. Married isn't just become child. Married is walk a way until dead

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not! It's not just about having kids. And yes they should still get married even if they don't want kids.

[kingpin2177]

I think they should still get married cos you're committed and devoted to each other