To young for marriage?

I really need help here. My best friend is just turning 20 years old July 16th, I am 22 years old and I love her like a little sister. She met this guy maybe about two years ago. They only went out for one year and after 6 months he asked her to marry him. Now I know I should but out of this but I love my best friend a lot and to see her hurt will want me to break her boyfriend's face. This is what I do not like about him and why I think they are two young.

1: Whenever I see her, he ignores her and talks to me. When she joins in he would be like "babe we where off that topic hours ago"

2: Also when I am around he talks about sex way to much, and how he don't care where her first time (yes she is a virgin) is.

3: He moved in after a month at her parents house. Then got kicked out.

4: They have a joint account all ready

5: He wants to buy a apartment and move in there with her.

6: He had sex loads of times be for he was with her.

7: He sometimes treats her badly. They fight over stupid things and I mean stupid. He made her cry once over something that was not her fault.

8: He tells her what to do.

9: THEY ARE TO YOUNG 19 and 20 is to young to make these choices. If they where a couple longer then fine but only a year of dating? That is what worries me that he will hurt her because this is her first serious boyfriend.

Please help, I just need a way to talk to her with out her getting mad. She is like my little sis and I know I should stay out of it, but I just want some advice for her.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I completely agree- I think this is wrong.

    The trick is how can you bring it up to her so that it makes sense to her without hurting her feelings. At the same time though, it's sometimes useful to let people make their own mistakes... anyways:

    1) Take her somewhere for a girls night out, or maybe a weekend and put some effort into getting her alone for a bit and talk to her straight up, maybe after a few drinks.

    2) You might not be as open to this idea as much... But you could always hook up with him, and then get him to leave her? Tell her afterward it was for her own good. Although this is a ridiculous plan, if you feel that she's getting herself into a situation that's worse than just bad this could be an option.

    • I tired a girls night out. I had WE tickets a few nights back just for me and her. He would not let her go. And to make it worst he will corner me and bring up sex. If he hurts her I will break his face with my fist. He may see me as this sweet girl but he hurts her I hurt him.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 4

  • I don't think they are too young necessarily, but I do think this isn't a good relationship and getting married will just make it worse. It sounds like he's a cheater, or will be, and he doesn't treat her right.

    If she doesn't get mad easily, you could bring it up. Like, just start talking about their relationship, ask how it's going, if there's anything that bothers her. Try to give your opinion without being judgmental of her, or making it seem like you're telling her what to do. Tell her she's amazing, and maybe she'll realize she deserves better. If she gets defensive really easily, I'm not really sure what to say though...

    • yes I agree with u...I just have to get rid of the boyfriend who never lets her have one on one girl time with me.

    • Show All
    • huh that's hard.

    • I agree

  • i don't think that age is generally a good definer for whether or not a couple is ready for marriage. My boyfriend is 27, and I am a very mature 21. we are discussing marriage, and everyone knows that we're ready, even though I'm so young. These things should be determined on a case to case basis. That being said, they both sound very immature. Honestly though... stay out of it. This is one of those lessons that they will have to learn on their own. The more people tell them they can't do it, the more they will want to prove everyone wrong. I think everyone goes through that phase at some point in their young adult life. Just let it run it's course. If he is as bad to her as you make it sound, the relationship will likely dissolve before it has much more of a chance to progress. You don't have to be supportive of the relationship, just be supportive of your friend.

  • what are her parents saying about it?

    • They told them to wait till they both have full time jobs. He wants to be married by 2013 and they just began collage last year.

  • I don't know what to tell you because this is really tough. If you aren't supportive she'll get mad and think you aren't her friend. Maybe see if you can talk to a third party who knows both of you and get advice? You can't stop two people from getting married.

    • I tired that...most of my friends who know her say she is to young.