Indian man and German woman planning to marry?

Hi everyone,

I need your help.

I am a Indian and in love with a German woman. It is almost a year, we know each other. But we live in our countries only. She and me met our in-laws. We are planning to be together soon.

As I am from India and my family gives more emphasis on marriage and family, of course, I also wish to marry, because I am 32 now. I need to understand few terminology, from western, it helps me in understanding.

1) Living together and marriage are same or not? (Apart from legal things)

2) My fiance and I, discussed about marriage a lot times and cleared few things. But anyhow she feels stressed with "marrying" or moreover for her marriage and living together is same. She told that she also want to marry, but feels stressed, with that.

3) In west, is there no role for parents in their kids marriage. I am free to choose who should be my wife, but in certain things, my parents have their role and I think it helps(Indian brain/style).

No racial comments, please. It is all about culture, family&moral values and life-style.

Thank you.

I am a Santha Dharam (world calls or knows it as Hindu religion) and she is Evangelist

For point two, I have read few things from internet, that marriage and living together are almost same & at the same time not. My experiences from few people is my life says that living together is a free way to get out of relationship anytime, without legal proceedings. In marriage also people take divorce, anyhow, my wife is not that lucky to get from me under any circumstances :)
I am responding to know more about culture, family&moral values and life-style and I am expressing my view. You can always correct me and I will be happy to know your opinion and will be thankful for spending time for.


Most Helpful Girl

  • 1) Living together is when you're getting serious in a relationship, the next step might be marriage. It's like a trial step, to see if you guys are compatible. The difference is it's not official, and most people wait for marriage before having kids.

    2) Maybe she's not ready to get married yet. Some people live together as a couple and don't marry, because they don't feel it's necessary, or they have other reasons. However, she did say she wants to, so perhaps you just need to give her some time.

    3) I think often people want their parents to approve of the person they're marrying, but I don't think they have veto rights like they have in India. Parents generally don't play as a big a part in helping their son or daughter find a partner.

    • Thanks for reply

      1. I understand term "time needed" but hurry or delay. both are dangerous. Time tooo valuable resource that to waste in understanding people and after 5 years, to find that the relationship does not suit,rather than accomodating each others' and finding common grounds. find next partner, without correcting the mistakes.In this way search never ends for the best.

      3.My parents do not have a veto in choosing a girl for me and I am always free to choose, but I think it is my pa

    • Show All
    • Yup, I know, I'm Indian too ;)

    • Oh! OK :) Just I am in dilema anyhow, because it is my relation and I am tooooo selfish to make this first love into a happy married life, accepted by us and our parents(her and mine). I believe, blesses of parents are more important than the book or God.

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What Girls Said 0

The only opinion from girls was selected the Most Helpful Opinion, but you can still contribute by sharing an opinion!

What Guys Said 2

  • yeah its cool to have values indeed.

    keeping to values is also important on both sides of the marriage...

    her perspective and your perspective. don't worry bout what your families think

    you both are going to be a family. its your decisions.

    yes marriage is a big step. its dedication and real commitment.

    anyone can date but not everyone can marry

    again. I must stress this. communication is key

    meeting in common grounds are important.


    • Thank you very much for the response.

      If you can give any idea about, how it means "giving space to spouse".

  • go for it dude