Women, why do they think of marriage as a competition?

ladies, I've always wondered why do you ALL have this way of thinking that marriage should be competitive to other women. I've noticed that just because you get married, you have this mentality of thinking your better than all those other girls that aren't married?

Just because you are committed to a man, your having kids, and building a family. You have a higher position in the "women pyramid". It isn't just you, it's also women who are single feel VERY BAD about not being married. For example, one of my sisters is married and has a kid and the other isn't married and doesn't have a child. Because of this, she gets SO upset and worried that she'll die alone when she's in her mid 20's.

Also, during an argument women will mention their husband and kids to REALLY put down on them (somehow it does). Whereas men, if we mention we are married, we'll show MUCH support and say congrats and such. BUT we won't put down on ourselves or each other just because your single.

SO why, oh why do women feel they NEED to be married as very soon as possible? so they can talk about it at work and put down on the other single girls? Girls are so damn different then men, it astonishes me sometimes lol. They walk, talk, act, think, and argue so differently then men.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I actually agree with you here. I have friends who are in longterm relationships and have kids and some of them do talk down to me. I am in a relationship, but do not have kids and am working really hard to get my college degree so I can get a decent job. I did the whole minimum wage job thing and it was hard to survive. I am not fortunate enough to have found the right person and have that second income to afford things. I have had to do it all on my own, but somehow in some of their eyes I am less of a person because of that :S

    It's like I have no life experience unless I am married or have kids :S Even though some of them have never had a job. A few of them got pregnant in high school, and never had the opportunity to get a job or anything. They have been raising their kids, and that's good but they think that somehow makes them better than me :S Somehow I am less capable of taking care of myself and understanding my surroundings because I do not have that yet. I totally get what you are saying.

    It is a competition and it really shouldn't be. I'm not gonna lie, I do want to get married one day, but its NOT going to be because some people look down on me. It's because I want it. That is why I decided to work really hard in college and in other parts of my life to have all of these things on my own. Marriage and kids are things to be taken seriously. It's not something you just do just because.

    But I totally agree with you, some women shove it in our faces! My one friend is now engaged and she always says how awesome it is to have her now fiance drive her around in his car, and have their apartment and whatnot. I can't afford a car at the moment and have a hard time getting around, but I manage on my own. It does make me feel bad. But I am not going to rely on a guy to get me around, I take the bus! And I can get a car when I make some more money. I just started to realize that the grass is not always greener on the other side. They are going to have a lot of debt, and I already make more money than her fiance does. And I haven't even graduated yet, so my life won't be bad afterward and I just have to keep my head up :)

    Everyone has things they need to do and wish they had. But it's not unreachable. Sometimes it just takes some struggle and work. And for some people it just takes a longer time, and if someone thinks I am not at the stage of life I should be, well they can step out of my life :) I'm only here for me :)

    • wow. I'm very impressed by your answer. That really inspired me, because I'm in a very similiar situation as you. Do you work part time and student full time? You sound like such a nice person, I hope you do keep your head up and achieve your degree, whatever that is. Thanks for answering

    • Well currently I am off for the summer, but I was able to get a co-op position at an insurance company, and insurance is what I am majoring in :) So it's definitely something I really am happy about. But people try to make themselves feel better by trying to bring me down. But I am definitely going to achieve my goal, I have been doubted so much but I keep proving them wrong :)

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 4

  • I don't feel the need to be married as soon as possible, in fact, I see marriage as unnecessary. I don't think being married makes a woman better than single women.

  • I think boyscompete with each like who Will get laid first is the better guy as for the girls is who gets married first... I think its ridiculous because this girls are marring for the wrong reasons, I am sure I Will be the last one to marry and really I know I Will be the one to make the best decision :)

    But I guess its like a show off thing, I only have one friend from high school that is married and omg she feels só much better than the rest of Us, its impressive...

  • Interesting post. Some women definitely use whatever they have to try and compete with other women.

  • Women don't think of marriage as a competition. You've got it all wrong.

    Women get married and want to get married because well, it nice to live life with someone by your side, someone who's committed to you as you are committed to him...And of course, we want to get married before we're old and pruny.

    Women mention their kids and their family because they're proud. If you had someone who cared for you and loved you, of course you'd want to mention him/her. I don't know about you, but I don't really hear any one mention their husband and family during an argument.

    I haven't really seen any one put anyone down by using marriage or anything.


What Guys Said 1

  • Look back at the role women have always played in history. It's been their job to find a mate and make a family. Sure, we have advanced technology and "equal rights" these days, but that doesn't mean our biological programming has been forgotten.

    Also, you say women are completely different but they are not. Men do exactly the same thing with the only difference being what they value and compete overt. Men are usually more competitive with their job/income/possessions (worth).

    • even tho that has been their history, it doesn't mean it's their role. That's thinking a bit sexist, in my oppinion.

      what are you saying? men and women are the same? yeah, I'd like to have what your smoking buddy.

    • Show All
    • Haha trust me... once you hit 30-35 and have a career you will look back at yourself now and chuckle. We all do. We never realize how naive we are when we're young.

    • well if you have hit 30-35 and have an career, I suggest you find a better way to use your time than wasting time on a advise site. What does all this have to do with my question anyway?

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