I can't find a decent girlfriend, what am I doing wrong?

i am 34 I am very shy I have not had a lot of luck with relationship's. I am a single dad of two I have always wanted to be married and have a big family how ever I feel know that I am 34 time is running out of time and I don't want to be a seen as a failure. I am a good guy I have never lied to a women or used or cheated on a woman. I am the one that gets used lied to and cheated on. I am a honest hard working loyal guy. I know I am not the best looking or the smartest why can't I get a women to look pass that and get to know who I am. PLEASE do not suggest online dating I have been trying for 3 YEARS they have not worked.

the getting married and the BIG FAMILY means the most to me is it to late at 34


Most Helpful Girl

  • Maybe you're too high up for descent women. Try looking for ascending ones.

    But on a serious note, it's possible that being a single dad is hard on your dating life, in terms of how much time you have to spend, what your priorities are, etc. Being aware of that could help. I have no amazing new earth-shattering advice for you, but it's important to make sure you are getting out to places where you will meet women- and probably NOT with your kids. Hire a babysitter or enlist a friend, whatever you need to do. And it's okay that you're not "the best looking or the smartest"- few people can be- but make sure you are doing what you can to take care of yourself project an attractive image.

    In addition, I will not say "try internet dating", but I WILL say make sure you're using it to the greatest advantage possible. Spend time on your profile and do your best to make it stand out and portray you in your best light. Of course you should be honest, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't choose photos you look your best in etc. Make sure you've used correct grammar and spelling, and edited your biography to make sure it flows well and sounds good. Also, don't be vague. A million guys like sports, TV shows, and the outdoors. Be more specific- which sports and TV shows, and what do you like about them? What do you like doing outdoors? Really think about what makes you you.

    Also, SHOW DON'T TELL. I think that's a big one when it comes to online dating profiles. "I'm funny, optimistic, and a nice guy" does NOTHING. Instead, demonstrate that you have those qualities by sharing anecdotes and accomplishments.

    Good luck!


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What Girls Said 1

  • Why am I a failure with women I can't find a descent one?

    Possible reasons:

    You're fat

    You're unattractive

    You're old

    You're shy

    You have two kids...the attitude guys have against single mothers some women have it for single fathers

    You have a sucky relationship history...most people if they keep getting into sh*tty relationships would start to realize maybe the problem is themselves and what they're attracted to or are attracting

    what am I doing wrong?

    Try losing weight

    Try being more social and not letting your shyness hinder you

    Try not relying on how good or loyal you are to get a girl and instead work on being interesting and building chemistry, sexual appeal, and an emotional connection

    "I know I am not the best looking or the smartest why can't I get a women to look pass that and get to know who I am."

    Would you want a fat, unattractive, old, shy woman with 2 kids?

    Do you look past a woman's obesity, overweight, fatness, and unattractive face?

    Or are you one of those guys who want an attractive girl but want this girl to look past your looks for your personality?

    • "Try not relying on how good or loyal you are to get a girl and instead work on being interesting and building chemistry, sexual appeal, and an emotional connection"

      I know pixie girl can be very abrasive, but she makes a point with the above.

      Being a good and nice and caring person...in itself isn't good enough to attract a woman. These traits are auxillary to a relationship to make it worthwhile.

      SEXUAL ATTRACTION is needed to ATTRACT a girl. Without it you're stuck @ "just a friend".

What Guys Said 3

  • No, it's not too late. I have a friend whose father didn't get married until he was 35. The music minister at my church didn't get married until she was 36. Based on this too, it seems as though you may need some more confidence? Also, know that there is a difference between being shy and lacking in confidence.

  • What up, dude?

    I'm in insurance sales, and I find the similarities in dating strikingly similiar to prospecting in my field.

    Prospect, prospect, prospect. You gotta work in volume. Don't do what most "nice guys" do and ask one 1 girl every 6 months lol. "Players" DO NOT have high success rates asking out women. They simply ask out a lot of them, until they get a "yes".

    Similar to what I do in my career. I get told plenty of "no", "remove my phone #", "leave me the f*** alone", "I wasn't looking for insurance on the internet"...

    ...but I continue on until I get a "yes, I do need your services".


    Most importantly, you have to like yourself. THAT is what confidence is in the eyes of females. It seems like you don't like yourself very much. Women can sense that, and frankly, it's a turn-off.


    If you need to chat with someone, feel free to do so via the Meebo in the lower-right, or through inbox messages.

  • Hey dude. You just gotta throw yourself out there and meet some ladies.

    I'm not trying to sound mean, but you may want to lower your standards a little bit. Make sure you go to places where a lot of people are- take your dog to the park, hardware store, etc.

    Go places where a lot of people go!

    It's easy to meet people!