Marriage should last forever.... NO MATTER WHAT? Q for guys

I'm russian and in my culture its very rare to get a divorce... and I grew up in a old fashioned family and I believe that no matter what divorce shouldnt be the answer I mean unless ur husbands raping ur kids or something... I doubt that would happen but I mean I always believed that if a guy cheats on you and you have kids you will mess up ur kids lives by having a divorce or wut not... I mean if ur husband cheats on u... or ur bf... I mean at night they still come to u... they are urs at the end of the day.. yes its horrible I have been cheated on before... a horrible feeling and all but is it crazy to want a marriage to last forever no matter what?


Most Helpful Guy

  • No offense, but I think your comment "in my culture divorce its very rare " is factually incorrect.

    If you look at the divorce rates on wikipedia, russia comes top. The only countries with higher divorce rates are very small, provincial countries of Gibraltar and the Isle of Mann.

    Russia has a divorce rate of 4.4 (that's divorces per 1000 population)

    USA 3.6

    UK 2.8

    Italy 0.7 (the lowest western country)

    (go the wikipeadia and search for divorce demographic) I would post a link but last time I did that I got a message from guys and girls, telling me it was selfish to post links and threatening to close my account?!

    I don't think it is crazy to want a marriage to last, but my attitude is rather than forcing your self to stay in an unhappy marriage, it should make you think long and hard before you do get married. In the US there is the bazaar habit of marry in the early twenties and then getting divorce 2-3 years later. If an American couple marry at the age of 23 their is only a 20% chance they will not be divorce in 3 years. Why marry young, wait tell your late twenties early thirties.

    • HAHA LOL well maybee but I mean my family/ cousins/ family friends are very like old fashioned when it comes to dat... Hmmm.... well think about it if you get a divorce to make yourself happy ur also gonna be ruining ur childs life and making him/her unhappy when you have already lived life and now its ur childs turn and you can't f*** it up I mean I don't know its so hard to explain it to people but if it was easier to jsut say what was on my mind... IT WOULD MAKE SOOOO MUCH SENSE lol =]]

    • Saying a divorce is bad for the children is a very big assumption. Some people I know have said their parents divorcing was great because it released them from a hostile home life. No more mum and dad screaming at each other. There seems little point in running a fake love less marriage because you think its better for the children. What could happen is the children grow up thinking a love less, sour marriage is normal. Better to marry older when your mature enough to know the marriage will last

    • Hmmm... that's true!!

      thnnx =]] got me thinking haha

      but I still can't explain it its longg lol

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What Guys Said 2

  • You're not crazy to want it, but it's unrealistic to expect it, and lunatic to stay in a bad marriage.

    Cheating is recoverable, as long as he stops. If he won't stop, at least let him attempt to remain a good husband and father.

    If he'll do none of these things, then you don't have a marriage, really; you have a ring, a piece of paper, and a broken promise.

  • Of course it isn't crazy to want a marriage to last. I think everyone wants their marriages to be successful. Parents who are having issues usually fight, yell, and all that, so that expose a child to that I think is far worse than the parents getting a divorce.

    • Well what I mean is... I would never get a divorce like if I was cheated on beat or w/e I mean I havnt even grew up in a house like that which is weird why I believe that but also I believe it would be like w/e if the guy cheats but if the woman cheats.... thenn that's LIKE REALLY BAD I'm not saying cheating is good but I think men can be forgiven woman kinda cant..=/ I kinda confused myself to ahahah lol

    • That sounds like you don't value yourself much. Or women for that matter. If a guy beats you, he should instantly be reported to the police. Letting abuse happen causes more problems than reporting it.

    • Ahaah No I do value myself I was like tryina make a point saying how far id go like if I had kids and didn't want a divorce I mean yes I do value myself ahaha a lot... lol but I don't know its hard to explain I'm not tryina say girls should be the guys' tricks and shyttt but like I was just tryina say how much id do... ughhh I make no sense lol its late I'm sleepy I have moments LOL =]]

What Girls Said 3

  • I guess I'm old fashioned too and I'm attractive American girl. I'm against divorce UNLESS one or both spouses cheat or the husband beats his wife and/or kids. Otherwise, noone said marriage would be a bed of roses every day, every month, every year. The fact that no two people on the planet are exactly alike will force differences to arise, some more intense than others. It's sad to me that most young couples give up on their marriage at the first sign of trouble (i.e. finances, in-laws, etc). When I think about the older generations that have been married for 50 + years, I'm in awe and I really look up to them. Make no mistake, they too have really, really struggled to keep their marriage alive at some point in their relationship. Trials are inevitable (health, money, jobs, affairs, etc). It's a matter of personal strength, love, and faith in oneself, family and especially God if they are religious. Most of the couples that I know that have made it to 50 years and beyond are people that go to church. The desire to please God, not to break their vows, and love each other through thick and thin. It takes a lot of work and effort, but there are times of joy too. I suggest that couples get pre-martial counseling before they tie the knot; to really discuss in depth what they want and expect, their diffferences and similarities, how they plan to react when things get tough, and to always remember the roots of their love for each other. Pre-martial counseling is wonderful as it does set the tone for what's to come. :-)

    • Thats so true! I agree. the new generation has changed for the worst and I def. look up to those elderly people who have been married for 50+ years its wonderful

  • I agree ! I never believed in divorce .I always couldent stand people whom whoudl take the short cut and just run away from thier problems however I'm seperated right now and will have a divorce when we can afford one ,It IS the BEST thing that I have done for my kids " they were tired of the home being tense and unhappy they knew there was no more love : I am very happy that all that weight is off my shoulders and now lilving a new chapter .My husband and I are friends and we get along better now than we did ..If I stayed in that marriage what would I have been teaching my children..? We did attend counselling for several months at least on 3 different occasions ;So I walk out knowing We did do what we could !

    • Awww well if it makes ur children happy then that's good

  • I believe that no one should go through a divorce I married this guy in 2003 I divorce him because he was beating on me. I got married again in August 30, 2008 I am waiting to file for a divorce because he left me 13 times to be with another woman. He says that he want to make things work with his family, but he is on 2 dating services and still meeting different women; so how can he want his family back?

    • WOW I'm sorry to hear that... you should try to meet nicer guys=[