Proposing to my Lovely Girlfriend...

I've made the decision that I want to propose to my girlfriend, and am starting to get plans in place to lead up to popping the question.

I know that she is ready, and I've gotten to the point where I can't imagine myself without her in my life. We've spoke of getting married in the future and we both are very comfortable with the idea. In fact, it makes me very excited, and I know I want to share my life with her.

I'm planning to ask her father for his blessing, and also tell my mom and dad about my intentions. The problem is, it is unlikely that I'll be proposing immediately after talking with the parents. I plan to wait until summer when we'll have more time together.

As of today we've been dating for a year and three months. Sometimes I think that others will consider this too short of a time frame to be thinking about getting engaged, or that we are too young, but for me, it seems only natural. We've had an amazing, loving relationship, and surprisingly never had a fight in all this time, including several months of a long distance relationship while we are at different universities. There has been plenty of time and less-than-ideal situations for me to get to know her true self, and I've loved everything I've seen.

Due to university, we likely won't be getting married for a few more years, and if we get married sooner, it will be at least one to two years off. I'm a very logical and calculating person, so you can take my word for it that I'm certainly not rushing into anything.

Anyways, I guess I'd like some thoughts on this matter. I'm, myself, considering these questions below.

Is it ever too early to inform others of intentions of getting engaged?

Is it ever too early to get engaged, especially if your wedding date may be a while off?

Is there anything else we should consider, other than the obvious fact that until graduation neither of us will be able to support each other financially? I don't see anything wrong with being engaged to a fiancee attending a different university, personally.

Thanks for your thoughts!


Most Helpful Girl

  • First off CONGRATULATIONS! This is wonderful and totally normal questions! If I knew my boyfriend was plotting something like this I would be thrilled! Sounds to me like you are doing everything right. I have known people who have ONLY been engaged (like 8years plus) who never intend on getting married so to answer that question, no there is nothing wrong with a long engagement. Especially in your situation where your both at different universities and have only been together for a little over a year.

    I've also known people who have gotten married after only knowing each other a couple months and are still together this day! Those people aren't as common as most but it does happen so to me it doesn't matter how long you've been together but how much you get along, love each other, and have that chemistry. Sounds to me like you know just what your doing and what you want which is perfect!

    To answer your question on talking to your parents and her father, definitely talk to your parents first see what they think, that will give you a good idea on how her father might react. I think its good to get the parents informed early on that way they are prepared and have time to think on the matter as well. Obviously its up to you two in the end but its always nice to have the parents blessing. Just be confident when talking to her father, sit him down and be completely serious about the situation. Let him know you don't want to be hasty or rush into anything that you've thought it all through VERY thoroughly and you know this is what you want and also that you plan to have a long engagement. That will set some ease to the situation as well knowing you and his daughter aren't going to just jump into anything, especially anything that would interfere with schooling.

    GOOD JOB! and GOOD LUCK! you seem to be a smart man who knows what you want.

    • Thanks for your thoughts! It's good to hear some support. =)

      Sometimes I feel like I've got a little cynical voice in my mind pointing out other relationships I know of that have failed, then trying to compare them to my own relationship. Like how there are couples who meet "the love of their life" then break up the next month. Then I worry that I might be missing something and will end up similarly.

      I'm glad it seems to others as if I'm going about things the right way.

    • There are always going to be those relationships that seem so bright that fail. You can't compare those to yours because your relationship is very different than theirs, meaning of course that every relationship is different. That's like comparing your old girlfriends to the one you have now, just can't do it because they are all completely different people. I know its hard not to think about those other failed relationships but that's why I completely agree with your long engagement situation.

    • Also, to disagree with the other persons comment. Yes the count down to the wedding day is great and exciting but whether that count down starts next week or in three years, the wedding is going to be the best day of her life. I don't see the excitement of that special day ever wearing off. Don't worry about the length of the engagement.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Awee this is so sweet :) I don't think it's too early at this point to inform others of your intentions to marry. You have been going out for more than a year, it's an appropriate period of time to date before the engagement.

    I definitely think if you two had only dated a month, then that might be a bit early. But everyone is different. Marriage is not something to be rushed but everyone has their time frame for what they feel is too early.

    Just follow your hearts. It's smart to wait to get married, just because of the cost. An engagement should last a little while just so you two have time to get everything settled and know what is going to happen when you get married (like living arrangements, etc...).

    There is nothing wrong with being engaged to someone who goes to a different university. It happens, and if you two are going to wait to get marrie,d its probably better to just be engaged.

  • It's really up to the couple. In my personal opinion though, I wouldn't want to get engaged unless we were planning a wedding for the next year. I just don't see the point in being engaged when you can't get married for a few years anyway. Part of the fun of being engaged (or at least what I've seen from other people), is that exciting countdown to getting married. When you're engaged for a few years, sure that gives you a little bit longer to think about things, but the excitement of being engaged/married wears off by the time the wedding comes. Kind of like, 'yeah yeah we've been engaged for forever now, it's about time we tied the knot.' I'd rather just be dating during that in between time.

    • Mhmm that's a good thought to consider. I do expect that if we have a long engagement some of the excitement about being engaged might wear off.

      Still, until we're actually engaged it's hard to think about planning a wedding. I'd have no problem with a wedding soon, but I'm not going to start planning it until we're engaged.

      I guess there are two ways of thinking about that.

      I won't know how long my engagement will be until I'm engaged. Complicated stuff.

  • I don't think the length of time matters, as far as how long you've been with her or how long the engagement is. From the day they met until the day they got married, my parents only knew each other about 9 or 10 months.


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