What is the extent of the betrayal here?

My wife has been all about money for a while, we have been at each other on and off the whole marriage of about four years. Her friend came up and admitted that she talks very badly of me.

They went to a parts store recently, and the manager walked around with my wife for a while, she can change her own brakes and she only needed windshield wipers that day. Her friend said the guy asked if I was still in the house. My wife's friend said the guy gave my wife his employee discount regularly. And her friend said my wife said yeah he might not be young and nice looking but he has a lot of money. My wife is forty one. Anyone have a clear picture better than mine?

I think something happened. I need men and women's perspectives please.

I just directly believe she is having or has had some type of sexual contact here. I guess I am looking for the extent of that possibility.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Well first off it is very strange that a friend would tell her secrets so to speak to you cause its her friend. It is disrespectful for your wife to be talking badly about you so I don't agree with that. The guy asking if you were still in the house sounds fishy to me. I just don't get why her friend is telling you this stuff but I am glad she is for your sake. I wonder if her friend is trying to get with you cause she seems hell bent to cause problems in your marriage. I would look into that. As far as her cheating, everything else other then him asking if you were at home doesn't sound serious and just harmless flirting on her part to get a discount. If I were you I would go to the store and ask the manager straight up if he is having an affair with your wife. He may not be honest but he won't want any problems at work so if he is then he will stop doing it for sure. If he says no then ask your wife. Just tell her that you feel like she is cheating and don't blow her friends cover cause you may need her help in the future. You have every right to ask her as her husband.

    • Right. Well, they had a falling out and I work with her friend and fell in the middle. Her friend told me things only my wife would have mentioned about my past difficulties. Her friend has been speaking against her opinions the whole time- about me. She said it just isn't right and knows I am not who I am being portrayed as. She split her friendship with my wife and told me to be careful of what my wifes plans are. It checks out as fact most of it. Thank you.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • 1. What is the extent of the betrayal here? I highly doubt she's had sexual contact.

    If there had already been sexual contact he most likely wouldn't be asking if you were in the house. There's likely been flirting and talk of leaving you.

    2. Anyone have a clear picture better than mine? You're not living up to her standards and the marriage has been rocky the entire time.

    It's likely to end if she thinks she can have a sure thing with the manager after leaving you. After all there's little reason for her to stay in a marriage that's been rocky for the entirety with a partner that doesn't have what she wants while the manager has what she wants money.

    • Thank you. Being in the situation still provides me with a blind spot. I think that about clears it up. I don't think she would make a hasty decision to have sex but would not put decisions past anyone under pressure.

    • I doubt pressure would cause her to have sex when money is what she wants. She's likely not going to give it up until she knows it's a sure thing between them.

  • you think she likes that manager? You should just ask her straight up. You guys are married, there should be open communication.

    • There is not automatic communication in any marriage if she is talking badly about me behind my back. Read the first paragraph, I will not learn anything from asking. It all looks shady, there are other elements that tell me she is two faced where I am concerned.

    • "Her friend said the guy asked if I was still in the house." I think that says it all. Either the manager, or someone else. But Anonymous User seems to be on the departure in his wife's head.

  • She's scheming to leave you. :*( Just be prepared for it unless the two of you can reconcile,but I'm sorry to say,it seems like she is already gone.


    • I actually prefer the truth over an elaborate deception. I would imagine anyone would. Money is not my greatest motivation and that is the big difference between us. Which is why everything is breaking down. She denies it but, the track record that I know of says it all. It is an abussive situation that needs a proper ending right?

    • I would say yes,it does need a proper ending.Im really sorry this is happening. :(But I guess the sooner it ends,the better off both parties will be? :/

    • Agreed no more to add here

What Guys Said 2

  • Doesn't smell good at all.

    • Yeah if I were the manager, I would have already done something with her or am looking to. I wonder how she knows he has plenty of money right?

    • Show All
    • Excellent! Yes, she is constantly blaming me for all kinds of crap. Including one of our cats or dogs made a poop on the floor, she woke me up early to come and look at it. This is no new event. I grabbed the toilet paper out of her hand as she sat four feet from it, she protested, I cleaned it up, and said I am not a scatologist and went back to sleep. She is guilty of something.

    • Possible. That's why you have to remain very calm, even if you confront her about what you think happened. Do not enter the "I did this because he did that" game.

      That will increase her guilt, and in case you divorce, she'll be proven the faulty one.

  • From what I hear it seems pretty strange.