I'm engaged but don't know if I should marry him?

We are together 3,5 years, I love him and he is good person, responsible, sweet,i can trust him. But one thing what bothers me is how he stares at other girls, when we go somewhere or in tv.. he has always wallpaper with beautiful girls, videos with dancing girls on computer and I heard him few times talking with friends about how hot is any girl.. He told also I'm not most beautiful girl but it doesn't matter for him.. maybe I should be happy but I'm not , I don't know now if I want marry this boy, but I love him and he's caring - maybe I won't meet anyone better. Soon we will have to organize marriage, so if I want break up I must decide it now, tell me what should I do? Don't say to talk with him , because if I try he tells that I argue for sill reasons, are this silly reasons?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Guys collect images of girls the way photographers gather pictures about sunsets or rain forests or whatever. It actually is a form of art, and loving it by itself is not necessarily bad but can very quickly become bad.

    The problem arises is when they get their head twirled in fantasy and even love the girls the images are depicting, rather than just the images themselves. This is a sort of "unfaithful fantasy" so to speak. Gearing the mind this way could lead to unfaithful acts later on.

    So how do you know the difference?

    The answer is simple. If his girls are posing to be beautiful (naked or not), its fine art. If his girls are involved in sexual acts like touching, groping, intercouse, and so on, its p*rn.

    If its p*rn, he has a p*rn problem. If its fine art, then he just likes pictures with female subject matter.

    The first is more dangerous than the second, though the second is not above concern, its just the second isn't as good for the type of fantasy life I'm describing and therefore may indicate its lack of existence if its the sole form of imagery he collects.

    Telling you that you are not the most beautiful girl is a pretty tactless thing to say without thinking about the consequences of how that would make you feel. Obviously, he is not the most handsome man either - you both have to compete against 2.5 billion people within your own genders. Not everyone can be #1. Its just silly to bring it up though...

    If he expresses concern for how you feel about it, even if he is unwilling to give up the stuff, or wishes you were cool with it, then I'd say looking good. If he dismisses it as a petty issue and makes light of your objections, then you have a red flag on your hands.


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What Guys Said 3

  • It all depends on what kind of guy he is. Cause some guys talk with their friends about it to fit in and have pics and vids to make them fell like a man even though at heart, they love the one they're with. And others act on it. I think if you haven't seen him do anything or heard of him cheating and you trust him than you should marry him. But if you have suspicions than idk.. Follow your heart.

    • No he wouldn't cheat, I trust him. But this what he tells doesn't make me happy that's why I don't know if I want marry him .

    • Sometimes guys will be guys. We do and say stupid (sometimes hurtful) things unintintionally. But that's why they say for better or for worse. You love him so except him how he is..

  • If you're affraid to talk to hi about your feelings then there is no real trust between the two of you, even the way you wrote looked as if it was you against him. My advice is simple, if you're not sure about marriage then don't do it until you feel 100% sure and ready :)

  • so can't tail to him straightly but remind him indirectly..

    if you two don't solve this problem,how can you marry him happiness?


What Girls Said 2

  • I think it definitely raises a red flag, at least on your part. Do you really want to enter into something this serious with what you just asked always in the back of your mind? Even if he had no inclinations to anything with another woman this situation is making you uncomfortable and questioning the relationship Also I think it is quite disrespectful to have all these things around you, the wallpaper, etc so soon before you are married. I would definitely think further about the situation and possibly talk to parents or friends to further confirm you fears.

    As to you finding someone better? Of course you know the answer to that one...;)

  • This isn't silly. Marriage is a serious thing, you don't want to marry a guy who is always going to be chasing other girls.

    People are going to look at something they are attracted too. But I think he is going a little too far. He should understand why you are uncomfortable with him looking and talking about other girls.

    But only you can decide whether you want to marry him or not. If you are having doubts now, it's probably best to not marry him, unless he is willing to work on this issue.