I'm pregnant but I refuse to get married?

Hi peeps,

Im 3 months pregnant and my boyfriend of 3 years is very supportive we are planning on moving in together and do all the things necessary to be ready for the baby but people keep questioning our commitment to one another (I mean we are committed enough with the baby right?) they say we should get married..i personally don’t want to. He has been married before and Marriage was something we wanted but not under the pressures of having a baby. Do I have to get married? What works for other might not work for me is this okay?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Im rather biased in my view as I believe in no sex before marriage etc so this situation wouldn't happen to me, BUT I respect the fact that you have been together for aslong as you have been and you are putting the needs of your child first. There is no need like you said to get married now under pressure, especially if you do want to get married, but at a better time. A wedding ring isn't going to make either of you any more or less committed if you had an unfaithful attitude, but I don't think either of you do. It really doesn't make sense to marry at this time because of other peoples views, you have enought to deal with having a baby to prepare for. Congratulations by the way :)

    • Thank you! I see your point. I was also a "no sex until marriage" but I got caught up in the moment and realized I was only thinkin that way because I wanted to please my parents. once I turned 18 I didn what I wanted. now at 26 I'm happy but marriage is not for me just yet.

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    • I agree marriage won't make our bond stronger or make him committ anymore than he already is. Thanks for your advice I greatly appreciate it. My deep instinct feeling tells me we are gonna be okay!

    • :) Good luck with the baby, you're both gonna make great parents x

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • I agree with you. It's not up to them to dictate what you should and should not do. If your gut tells you he will stay, then do what you want.

  • If your not ready, DO NOT GET MARRIED! It's perfectly fine in this age of time. The worst thing you could possibly do is to get married ONLY because your married. I wish the best with the baby!

    • I know. I don't want to get married because people think we should. I know my boyfreind and forcing him to do things he doenst want to do never works. he always quits. and I don't wnat that happening. plus why fix what's not broken right?

What Girls Said 3

  • I got married because I thought I was supposed to, and because everyone else "acted" like it was a good idea.

    I wasn't ready for marriage, and I am no longer married.

    You're under no obligation to get married, no matter what everyone else says.

    You've got to feel it, and if you don't feel it, don't do it!

    • WOW! thanks! This is what I needed. Support! My boyfriend was married before and I know marriage is a big deal for him and he has said before its not something he wants to do right now with anyone. He is fully committed to me and now the baby but I know the idea of a 2nd failed marriage scares him.

    • Good luck! I know you're making the right choice for all three of you!

  • Do whatever you want.But if you're already happy in the relationship and you both are going to be taking care of the baby together, then I don't see why you can't just get married

    • We are committed and taking full responsibility but the pressures of marriage are overwhelming.

    • Ok then don't get married. I'm not sure why you're asking this question since it's clear you've already made up your mind

    • I just wanted to get feed back and others experiences that's why I asked. :)

  • You shouldn't feel obligated. If you two are pretty sure of each other now, that you will probably get married in the future, then wait until you're ready. But if you do break up, then perhaps it won't be horrible and you can be friends and share your baby. You know? I'm bad at talking, but just don't feel pressured to do anything you're not ready for.