Why is he joking about us being married?

there's a guy friend I'm close to and every once in a while he'll joke about us being married. We'll be doing something and he'll randomly say "this is like we're married" or if another one of our friends is around and either he or I ask each other to borrow money or something he'll be like "what? it's like we're married" all embarassed like. Someone once asked if we were married and he said no, but it wasn't like a quick NO! in a are you deranged? way. it was a simple, slow "nope" , but because I felt like maybe he was embarassed I took a step away from him. Then later he said "can you believe that guy thought we were married?". at the time because I was on the defensive I took it as he was like "ew gross" but now that I think about it, I think maybe he felt on the defensive. He sends me a lot of mixed signals. I am neither in like or dislike of him, so its not like I'm trying to read into things. I just wanna understand what is going on without coming out and asking him Because I think he'll be on the defensive. Does this guy have feelings for me and not sure how I feel about him? Anyway, why do guys joke about being married to a girl?

to Pedantic: additionally, if he is calling it as he sees it, then what is he trying to imply? that he is disgusted by it or he is putting feelers out there to see if I feel the same- which is perhaps getting together with him and dating.
he sends a whole whack load of mixed messages. sometimes he's over the top flirtiatous, sometimes he's cool as a cucumber chill


Most Helpful Guy

  • And two become one... The bible says... I hear a lot on the radio about this issue. You and him probably do act that way when around him. Feelings can start from here or stay the way they do. Once you go forward you can no longer be the same as friends. But if it's just sex and no feelings start to happen you can just be friends. They claim... Don't treat him that way and they won't go further... Have you two tried dating someone else in front of the other?


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What Guys Said 1

  • There are a lot of married couples that spend all their time together and share money. Is this observation necessarily a joke? Perhaps he is calling it as he sees it.

    Since you don't think you are acting like married people, then what are the boundaries in your relationship that make you think it is not so, outside of a legal piece of paper?

    I don't know if he has feelings for you or not; I think the comments are not indicative of either for or against. Your description kind of implies you are in a "friends with benefits" relationship, although you haven't actually *said* so. Is this the case?

    • definitely not FWB going on here. The comment about borrowing and spending money is about how we do it with each other hence him making the statement "it's like we're married! haha" but we are not dating, we are just friends.

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    • Well, it sounds to me like random luck that a certain behavior happens at a time and place and the married image, even if drawn out of context by a foreign observer, is given off. He is just noticing it. In your question you haven't mentioned any information about things he may or may not have done to pursue you, so at this stage, I can only assume the comments indicate nothing.

    • re: updates. Sounds to me like the ups and downs of a relationship?

      I could point out that bald eagles are not actually bald, but have white tufts of hair on their heads. Am I implying anything? Not at all. Sometimes an observation... just is. Not everything has to be designed to accomplish a particular purpose.

      If you think he is implying something, what additional information have you encountered to think its more than just an observation? Said additional information could be of value

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