I'm getting married, HELP!

I have a boyfriend online and its been 3 years now. but we haven't seen each other in person but I honestly do love him... I'm 17 turning 18 this October and I'll be in 2nd year college next school year... then suddenly my boyfriend wanted to visit me and he wants us to get married... I said yes I'll marry him! but we have to wait till I graduate but he said he can't wait he explained to me why and it kinda make sense but I don't know what to do now... How would I tell my mom and my dad? they expect so much from me... I sometimes think if I'm really ready... but I don't want to disappoint him

and I sometimes doubt if he really love me cause after that one fight that we had he kinda stop being sweet to me and he don't chat me as odten as he did before.. he's like getting cold... but then why would he still want to marry me?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think that you should seriously wait. Marriage takes a lot of work and you should know the person before you marry them.

    You might think you know this person because you have been dating for 3 years. But you haven't even met this person yet. Sounds to me like this guy is trying to trap you into a relationship in his own country.

    You are still so young, you are only 17, wait until you are older and are in a long-term relationship where you actually know the person before you marry them. I know you don't want to hear this but this is a terrible idea!

    You don't even know this guy in real life, and it's a terrible idea to get married now just because it's convenient. You should get married because you love someone and because you both are in the stage of your lives where you can have a successful marriage. People are not the same online as they are in real life. And just because you have talked to him over the computer for 3 years doesn't mean he will be the same person. This guy could be 74 years old for all you know or could be a criminal.

    He's trying to force you into a marriage that you aren't ready for now and that is a HUGE red flag. Sounds to me like he even doesn't have your best interests in mind.

    Also, if he is not living in your country, what are your plans for living arrangements? You are just going to be married to this guy and hopefully get to see him once again? What if this guy is a complete creep and tries to hurt you? How will you get out of a country you have never been to?

    There is so much sketchy stuff in this situation. You really shouldn't be marrying this guy. Do your parents even know you have had this online relationship?

    Sorry to be so critical, but this is really a bad idea and I hope you don't go through with it. Your parents will be upset when you tell them because as adults, they know this is a terrible idea. You already know this will disappoint them, so why do it?

    Go to school, get your education and meet a guy in real life, have a relationship with him, get to know him and then when the time is right for both of you, get married if that is what you both want. Don't just marry this guy because he was being sweet to you over the computer. Any guy can manipulate a girl into thinking he is a swell guy. There is a good chance this guy may not even be who he says he is online, and you are putting yourself in huge danger by marrying him!

    • thanks! it really bumped my head

    • Good to hear! I'm not saying that you should never get married. But it's better to wait until the time is right, rather than just getting married in a rush and to someone you don't really know. You won't even be able to enjoy your wedding if there is so much uncertainty surrounding it, and getting married should be a happy time. All the best!

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What Guys Said 2

  • you really need to wait , I don't think such a rushed marriage is going to work out , its going to be a huge adjustment from your current life and your just about to start college , not even ready for such a thing .

    another huge problem is that you haven't even meet him in person , that needs to happen first before you can commit to marriage as you don't even know who you'd be marrying as you have not even meet him in real life , you've never even sat down for dinner togther from what I read

  • You never explained his reasons for wanting to marry now. You just said they kind of made sense to you.

    • oh he wants to marry me this year cause he's near my country right now so it would be easy and cheap if he visit now and get married cause we live so far from each other so yea and he wants to get married now so that by the time I finish college he could send me the papers that I need in order for us to be together in his country

    • Whoah! Yeah, that's a terrible reason.

      Talk to your parents about this. They might be able to convince you how terrible this is as an idea.

    • ok thanks :)

What Girls Said 3

  • If you haven't told your family yet and you're wondering whether you're ready, then that means you're not.

    You don't seem to know your person very well in real life. Marriage is a big decision. Not to mention that most people change when they get older. I think you should leave it a few years. You have plenty of time.

  • where is he from?

  • but you haven't ever met him before... he might not be who you think he is.