It's been one year and she is quite a bit younger than me. She is 18 and will move out for college next fall and I'm 24 and will get my ph.D at the same university. I'll also work part time and got some federal grants so financially I'm quite well.
Her parents even suggested we should live together and we decided to do that. I know 6 years sound like a lot but she is very mature and she's awesome. I don't ever want to be with someone else again, so I wanted to ask her to marry me.
Most Helpful Girl
My personal opinion is that it's too soon.
You've only been together for one year. I've been in both a 5-year and a 6-year long relationship. In both relationships, my partner and I were very open and honest with each other. After a year, I probably would have said that we knew everything about each other. However, looking back, we really didn't. I continued to learn important things about them and about our compatibility with each other after that. At one year, we were still in the honeymoon stage, and the honeymoon stage says very little in terms of your long-term compatibility. Think about it. You're going to agree to spend your entire life with another person (20, 30, 40, maybe 50+ years) based on your experience with them in ONE year.
Along those same lines, why the rush? If you truly believe that you're going to spend the rest of your life with this girl, why the rush to make it official now? If you're "meant to be", is waiting a few more years going to change that?
My other concern would be her age. She's 18, and she hasn't even started college yet. People grow and change A LOT in their teens and twenties, and your college years can really change you. This is the time when people really start to discover who they are, who they want to be, and what they want in life. Many couples grow apart during this time, as they become different people or realize they want different things in life. While it doesn't always happen, often when people start college they're exposed to a lot of new and exciting things that they want to experience and they end up breaking up with their "high school sweetheart".
Lastly, you've decided to live together, but it doesn't sound like the two of you have started living together yet. I highly recommend living with someone for at least a year before deciding if you want to marry them. Moving in with your partner is tough and a lot of couples find that they fight a lot (at least in the beginning). While you may be compatible dating, you might find that you're NOT compatible living with each other. You're probably going to learn a lot about your partner that you didn't know from just dating them. It can be hard establishing your "roles" in the relationship/living arrangement. You may find that you're very different in terms of responsibility, finances, level of cleanliness, desired amount of alone time, etc. You may find that they have habits that really bother you. Living together is going to challenge the two of you to see if you're able to work through these things. Sometimes couples find that they aren't as compatible as they thought they were.
My advice is to wait to ask her to marry you, or in the very least, don't rush into actually marrying her.0