I was given a marriage tip the other day. "Sometimes it's more about commitment than it is about love." I agree, it takes a lot of commitment. But if the love is gone, what is the point of the commitment? I don't agree with this advice. What do ya'll think?

  • I agree, sometimes it is more about commitment than love.
    Vote A
  • I disagree, if there is no love there is no commitment.
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Guy

  • The key word in this tip is "sometimes". There will be times in a marriage when you may be disappointed by some activity or inactivity on the part of a spouse. It is then that committment to that person is more important than the lack of love that you're feeling at that time. It is that committment that brings the love back.

    I think you're referring to a complete loss of love in the marriage in which case the idea of committment seems a bit redundant.


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What Guys Said 3

  • I say choose the one you love and then love the one you choose. Love isn't some independent force that is either there or not there--you have to work at it together and make it grow. You are the independent variables, not your love. If you don't continue to work at it then it can die or diminish even though it was true in the beginning. You have to have the commitment to work through things because even in love things aren't always rosy, and if you bail when rough patch comes or when you "fall out of love" then you may just lose the love of your life.

  • I think your definition of love is a little skewed. Love is an action. The reason people "fall out of love" is because they choose to stop loving that person. Love isn't a feeling, it isn't an emotion. It's an action. When you "love" someone, then you LOVE them. It's not a word, it's not a feeling, but it's an action. If there are no actions, then there is no love. You can care about someone and want the best for them, but that's not love. If you really love someone, then the commitment follows.

    • Love isn't an action. Love causes the actions.

    • Show All
    • You don't magically wake up and it's gone. I didn't choose to stop loving my ex. After he cheated on me 7 times though there were just no more feelings for him. I would say it took about a year to fall out of love. And another year of trying to fall back into it. It's not something you choose to do or don't do, at least not for me.

    • He stopped loving you so you chose to stop loving him. Sometimes its a huge one time decision, and then other times, you just slowly stop deciding to love them.

  • I think that if there is no love then the hell with it and I would never be one of those guys to propose like months after I met the girl because for both sides, there is always something new and you need time to really get to know the person


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