He is married should we still be friends? :(

I met this police man he is 32 and I am 20..He never told me he was married until I asked him. I figured he was single all along guess that is part of my fault for just assuming. The thing is that me and him would meet up at the cafeteria to talk and I would go visit him at work after he got out to hangout this would be like around 9pm. He would come to visit me too. We never messed around, I didn't let that happen. He would hold my hand, but he was always playing around. I enjoyed his company would make me laugh allot..He would say perverted things at times. I would tell him to stop talking to me like that and he eventually did..I don't know if sex was just his intentions...?...One day I had this gut feeling that had me doubting his "relationship status" and I asked him..He hesitated and didn't want to answer..Then he finally said I'm married...I told him not to text me or look ask me to meet him up again..He said, well I'm sorry you have the wrong impression of me now,its up to you if you don't want to talk to me again :( ...I miss him so much its been a week already...I don't know what to do..I want to talk things out with him and leave him as a friend only..But then something tells me to just stay away from him..I'm super sad right now..I can't stop thinking about him..I miss him..I wish things hadn't ended like they did.. :"(


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What Guys Said 1

  • It's hard, but you are doing the right thing. I am kinda in the same situation, however it's the girl that I need to stay away from. I really like talking to her and our time was a lot of fun. She only wanted to hook up and cheat and that wasn't something I wanted to do. And, no matter how much it hurts not to be able to talk to her, because it was something special that we could do it's just better to end it even though it sucks. I just started talking to other girls and working out doing anything possible to keep my mind busy.

    I wouldn't fall for the friends thing, because I have a feeling he would constantly be trying to get in your pants and would annoy the crap out of you. Stay Strong you can do it. And if he tries to talk or text just be very brief and don't say a lot. Make sure conversations are only about non sexual things. If he starts to talk perverted things say stop and don't talk to him he'll get the hint...maybe. My opinion though would just to stay away.


What Girls Said 1

  • It sounds like you need to let that friendship go.

    I don't know the whole story but it sounds like what he was doing was not fair to his wife. And that he was biding his time and getting close to you, and was probably interested in sex.

    You'll find plenty of men in your life and there are bound to be some who make you feel special. You could probably try talking things out with this guy, but I don't know how far that will get you. He's an adult with a career and a family... and you're still a student, I imagine.

    If you really want to keep him in your life then that's your decision and there's really no reason for us to tell you what to do otherwise. But just be careful. It doesn't sound like something that's meant to really last.

    • yes that is very true. I do not want to destroy a family.What should I do if he textes me? Should I act like if it was nothing and just act normal

    • Just be honest with him about how you're feeling. At this point the truth (from the both of you) is important. If you guys aren't communicating clearly then you're just going to be left at the end of the day with questions about what the heck is going on between you two.