the other night I found out that one of my greatest friends got engaged earlier that day. I was at my bf's place spending the night, and I had a major freak out. she's only a year older than me (she's 25) and that made it worse, not to mention I've been seeing other friends of mine getting engaged etc, but this is the first CLOSE friend who I would actually be invited to the wedding getting engaged.
my boyfriend had talked about wanting a future with me MANY times before, even though we've only been together for 10 months. he finally moved to my city for school so I thought it would bring us closer together. lately I've felt like he's become distant, we stopped being intimate, and we've been bickering a lot. I think it's because of the stress from his move and starting school (which all happened within 2 weeks).
i freaked out over my good friend's engagement and hounded my boyfriend about where our relationship is going. I asked about why he hasn't bought me a promise ring yet (bc over summer he said he was going to after we had a big fight) and got upset when he said that he didn't know where our relationship is going anymore.
i was upset because "suddenly" he didn't know where our relationship is headed, when just less than a month ago he was telling me that he wanted to marry me etc without me asking.
ever since my freak out it's like he's pulling away even more.
how do I recover from my freak out about where our relationship is going? I can't just tell him I'm sorry and that I was freaking out because my friend got engaged. he already knows that.
so what do I do to recover from this?
Most Helpful Guy
here's the deal. I am the doctor, you are the patient, I am prescribing you a big pill of chill.
Now that your chill, think about this. 10 months is a short ass time to get engaged. Trust me, someone who has been in a relationship for 6+ years with my fiance, you don't know sh*t about him yet and him being a dude, doesn't know the first thing about you. Do you just want to get married, or do you want to marry him? A hasty decision is not the best way to start an engagement, much less a marriage. You're 24, you have a long life a head of you. My advice is to focus on your work/studies, hobbies (or get some if you don't have them), have some fun with your best friend in her wedding process (and don't b some sassy jealous you know what about it), and live a little with your boyfriend and it will all fall into place. And if it doesn't, and you don't marry this hunk of spunk, then it's ends better than getting divorced.
Examine this: Men are under a lot of pressure in the initial engagement process. I was for sure. You said your boos in school, so can he afford the rock of your dreams? Even if you say you'd wear a french fry there are still social stigmas, parents, what the neighbors will say etc. So here's what I am prescribing next. If you genuinely love him, and don't want to just get married for the sh*t of it, go say "I love you" (if you can't say I love you to him yet why the f*** do you want to get married). Go have some safe sex and don't get pregnant and start planning your SPRING BREAK VACATION with this fool, go live a little with him, and forget marriage right now.0