Boyfriend getting married, where do I go from now?

Im a separated mother of two. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. We have had our up and downs. But love each other a lot. He asked me to marry him, but as my estranged husband is making difficult to divorce and his family I said No.

My boyfriend family has found a girl to marry, and marrying in 6 weeks. I am feeling so lost, heart broken. It won't be the same, and its not right to interfere. My boyfriend says he will always love me, and see me. But I don't want to mess things for him. I feel I am losing someone that loved me, I loved. All I wanted was to feel wanted and loved... but I am left with nothing - where do I go from here?

Guys do you think I should tell him how I am feeling, especially when he asks to help with the wedding, its like putting a knife in and twisting it to me.?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I feel for you. That is a tough situation. If it's any consolation, many people have gone through the same trauma. Hold your head high. I can tell you from past experiences things will get better. Trust me. Concentrate on your 2 children. They need you more than ever. I wish you luck.

    Could I ask you a piece of advice?

    • It hurts iv been in tears, then angry, then feel so much love.

      Yes of course you may ask me & thanks for feedback

    • Again, I feel for you. I feel like I know you but I can't. Your story is so common. OK. Here is my question: I have known a girl for over a year now. For the last 4 months or so she keeps bringing up the topic of sex in many of our conversations. I know she is not going out with anyone. She'll mention that I'm in good shape, good looking, etc. How do I know if she just thinks of me as a friend (and wants to confide in me) or whether she now looks at me in a sexual way?

    • Well it's nice tht you both get on. You could just ask her in a conversation or when you like sm1 you might touch ther hand arm a lot. Mirror their movements and talking on the sexual level can bring you closer.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • Is anyone else as confused about this as I am? What is it, an arranged marriage?

    He asks you to marry him, because of uncontrollable circumstances you currently cant, so now the guys family found him someone else and he is going through with a marriage to another. All the while, with everything going on he remains your boyfriend. He claims to love you but is marrying another.

    Can you straighten things out so I can understand? A timeline might help so I know what's happening in correlation to everything else.

    • Arranged marriage is where family find a match, you don't get to go out or be intimate.

      He wants to still see me, as he says now because we have deep feelings.

      But it's wrong in a sense, for him, me & her.

      It could be he forgets us or be unhappy

    • I know what an arranged marriage is, I was asking if that's what happened.

  • I don't know seems to me if this guy truly loved you he would tell his family were to go and stick with you. Did I read this correct he wanted your help with the wedding? THAT TAKES A SPECIAL KIND OF GUY. I'm not sure this guy knows what love is.

    • I get that feeling that he just trying to get the most out of me now. Had a chat with him, he wants to give it a go with this arranged marriage. Again m left on my own.

    • To bad you are so young and so far away...

  • Sounds like neither of you is willing to actually fight to save this, and that's a shame.

    You should probably just stop talking to each other.

  • That's f***ed all the way up. I think you should at least try is better to try and fail then never at all. Go get your man girl don't let him get away especially if he wants to be with you.


What Girls Said 2

  • ...You love him... Go get the guy! Fight for your relationship!

    If he goes into this marriage, 3 people may be unhappy for the rest of their lives!

    And YOU have to make your mind straight: to get him back you might have to be willing to marry him... but what's the big deal if he's the man of your life?You should be both extremely happy then..

    • Yes it might be the case of three unhappy people in the end. I really do love him, just been in tears

  • Fight for your love. Make sure to tell him how you feel. Such a sad situation. Sorry to hear.

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