Dealing with karmic punishment?

My ex's sister is gonna get married tomorrow, me and my ex had gotten close again in the last month but right now she has a boyfriend. I told her that if somehow we end up married in the future, looking at her sister's wedding photos will be disappointing for me because I'd see her current boyfriend there instead of me. She told me that I should ask myself why I let her go many years ago, she's no longer mad at me for breaking up with her but said I can't blame anyone that I won't be at her sister's wedding (she forbids me to come cos if me and her boyfriend meet we're bound to fight).

I know that I deserve this but I still can't get rid of this disappointment. What should I do?


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What Girls Said 2

  • Let her live her life and you go live yours. If she thought you were so close again, she would consider breaking up with her boyfriend for you, but you don't mention that so chances are she's happy with him. If you don't wanna see her with her current boyfriend on the wedding pictures later, don't look at them.

    You two aren't together now, so she can date who ever she wants, right? Right. If she thought she would have a future with you and not with her current boyfriend, she wouldn't be dating him now but you.

    I suggest you don't get your hopes up too high about you marrying her someday, it could turn out totally different.

    IF (and I say IF) you eventually do end up married and you say you'll be disappointed by looking at the wedding pictures of her sister, don't look at them. You are not dating her right now, she can date other guys.

    I suggest you just try to get her out of your head until she is single again.

    • I know, I may sound like a douche here but I neglected her for many years and suddenly asked her to come back to me.. I don't think it's gonna be that easy even if she's single. To be fair she admitted that for the past few weeks she was on the verge on breaking up with him but didn't have the courage to do so but she also told me it doesn't mean we'll get back together instantly..

    • Don!t push her to break up with her boyfriend though, even if she's on the verge, she could still decide not to do it. Give her time and don't push her to get back with you as well.

  • That was pretty unfair to even mention that to her. Don't ruin her having a fun and happy day celebrating with her sister. I'm still in touch with my ex, (sounds similar to your situation as far as how he treated me when we were together). Well, I'm now engaged and if I ever bring up any wedding talk he gets all withdrawn and sad. I told myself I should not bring it up anymore but if we're friends, then I should be able to talk about one of the most important events of my life with him. He ended up apologizing, saying it's hard for him to hear me talk about marrying someone else but that I have every right to be happy about it and excited to talk about it and plan it. Same story here, if you REALLY love her, then her happiness comes first. Which means, you don't give her crap about bringing her current boyfriend to her sisters wedding and refer to a hypothetical situation of you two getting married down the road. If I were her, that right there would reaffirm to me that your heart wasn't in it, that you were still selfish and more concerned about your own well being than mine.

    • Thanks for the honest answer and tbh after I said that I did think that it was unfair for her. I do care about her well being although if you ask me if I really love her, the honest answer is I don't know.. I "think" I can love her again if we get back together because we never lost that chemistry.. do you think it's too late to admit my mistake and apologize?

    • Oh boy, I would not do ANYTHING if you don't know if you love her. Imagine, if you convinced her to b with you and then decided you didn't want her . . what would that would do to her? Also, chemistry and love are not the same thing, they go good together but one doesn't constitute the other, you don't have to have one to have the other and relationships can exist with only one or the other . . . Chemistry and passion, while appealing, do not mean love, and certainly do not mean potentional to make it forever

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