Is this a legitimate reason to end an 3 month engagement and a four year relationship?
February 25th 2013, I’m 23 and my ex-fiancé is the same age. 4 months ago my fiancé broke up with me because of something I did, or rather did not do, a few days prior. Before the incident (28th October 2012) there was nothing to suggest the relationship was on a downward spiral. If anything it was getting better than ever – we had our fallouts and arguments sure, but we worked on them together and hadn’t had a major argument since the previous Easter (2011).
Okay so the basically, the reason she felt the relationship and the engagement had to end was something that happened whilst we were at the cinema one evening. The whole day we had been looking forward to seeing the film in question. I had booked the tickets to an IMAX showing, hoping to make it an evening to remember. I drove her there so she could enjoy herself. Just as we were about to give our tickets to the usher, she took a funny turn and in a moment of panic I raised my voice. Needless to say we were outside the cinema in front of a few people arguing. Okay. However, that wasn’t a problem, we made up and went back into the theatre and took our seats. She even told me “Calm down, don’t worry about it” so I thought okay.
The film starts. Twenty minutes later she says she feels faint and gets up and leaves. I asked her “Are you okay shall we leave?” But she was already halfway out of the aisle. And for the rest of the film I wait for her to come back, but she doesn’t. I should have gone to her, but I didn’t. She could have asked someone to come and get me, but she told me it is the cinema’s policy not to come back and find me.
So the film ends, she is still out there. We don’t speak on the way home and I hear nothing from her until 31st of October. As a Halloween event, we had planned on going on a boat ride. She was texting me that morning updating me on the trip, how much the tickets were, and what time they were leaving. I was under the impression I was still going. However, due to bad weather it is cancelled. Of course, the cinema situation is still playing on my mind. I felt so bad so guilty that I didn’t go and see her. I had even become a first aider just so that when the time comes I could be there for her.
The end of the story is, she agrees to meet up with me and talk and she promptly ends the relationship and the engagement not less than enough hours after talking about the Halloween boat ride.
It was a weird sensation for the next few days/weeks. We didn’t really talk. She wouldn’t change her Facebook status. She said that she’d considered forgiving me for not going to see her at the cinema, but because I panicked one evening after finding out she had spent the night with a mutual male friend she said “No I guess I can't forgive you”.
So really since then it’s been a case of no contact, low contact, pushing and pulling from both ends. It is difficult seeing as we are in a small tight
I wrote up a list of pros and
Most Helpful Girl
From what I've read there, you sound like a pretty regimented person. Analysed to the nth degree and maybe, just maybe at 23 she wants a little bit of sponteneity and a bit more emotion, less rules.
I have no doubt that you wanted/want to make her happy, but the recent incident seems to be the straw that broke the camel's back. You do talk a lot about you, how you felt and not really about her, her feeling faint etc, almost as if you'd made all the decisions for the both if you - that you were both looking forward to the film etc. you may find that she thought differently if you asked her.
I could be wrong. I just have this sense. No offence intended.0