Wife or have a life?

I have been so stupid. I was really drunk and got pregnant by the age of 19 which I don't regret. As soon as I told my then boyfriend he was delighted he was going to become a dad. I had my baby boy and my now husband was so nice and understanding and for years we were happy so decided to get engaged and move in together. As soon as we moved in together he has become a different person as he's trying to control me, starts arguments and has even grabbed me in a nasty way. I have said I will leave him but he tells me he will leave and never see our boy again, so I will let my boy down. On the day of our wedding I didn't want to go through it but my farter said it was wedding nervous and to do it for my son. My husband also destroyed the day of our wedding by wondering off and leaving me at the reception. On the night time he threw me on the bed and pulled my hair than grabbed hold of me. My brother stopped him hurting me. He has been nice ever since that night last February but I feel like I am stuck in a rut and he takes me for advantage. He has lost his phone with all the wedding pictures and my boy's first moments, which I'm starting to think shall I make my new memories alone with my boy. I do regret getting with my husband but please help what shall I do

continued as it would not let me write it in comments:-

Yes I do understand what being without a farther does as I don't know my dad, that's why I'm in two minds about leaving him

No he isn't cheating on me, one good thing

He pulled my hair to hurt me

He says he cares about me being happy but he works whenever he can, hardly ha time for us

He only makes out I mean something to him when he wants sex

left the reception as soon as we got married find a different venue to suit his cousins


Most Helpful Girl

  • Wife or have a life ?

    Have a life as in your case being a wife seems to be being with an abusive male.

    "please help what shall I do"

    Perhaps stay with family/friend while filing for divorce likely as a gal you'll get the child thanks to patriarchal gender roles of male is provider/female is caregiver playing out in court as male child pays support/female takes child(ren).


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  • Well first off, you need to tell me why he hurt you?

    Did you hurt him in any way?

    Why does he start arguing?

    Did he ever seriously hit you?

    How old is your kid?

    Do you still love him?

    Do you love someone else?

    What do you want out of your life?

    Can you support yourself?

    Do you understand the consequences of a a child growing up without a father?

    Is he cheating on you?

    When he pulled your hair, was it for sexual satisfaction or out of anger?

    Does he at all care about you or your happiness?

    Does he shows you mean something to him?

    What you gave us up there is only a list of bad things he did and that can only lead us to advise you into dumping him without seeing the whole picture.

    You are trying to control us into advising a decision you already subconsciously made.

    I will not say that, until you answer the questions.

    Thank you ^^

    • And how long and when did he leave you at the reception?

    • Show All
    • Here is the thing. You didn't answer me and you keep repeating what the herd of females around you is telling you, to support you.

      I am not saying you are lying, but there is something very one sided about this story. You didn't answer some stuff we both know that.

      I am not here to attack you but help. So I am trying to get you to tell the whole story. He does not have to be the master villain for you to leave. He has to be bad. So tell the truth, trust me it will help you more than anything.

    • I'm just saying that now my family is saying leaving him is the best thing for everyone. Like I'm saying I'm no angel as I nag at him but why use violence. violence never sorts out problems. He left me all night if that's the question. If not please ask.

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