BF says I pressure him - how can I change his perception?

Was just speaking to my boyfriend about an event we were trying to attend this weekend and I needed an answer from him on whether or not to purchase tickets. He wasn't entirely interested in going to this event but said he'd go because I really wanted to plus his friends were going too. Long story short, event is sold out and I wanted him to know that I was OK with missing the event that I didn't want him to feel like I was pressuring him for an answer or to go when he then said to me with a chuckle "YOU ALWAYS PRESSURE ME, I'm used to it' so I said to him that I didn't feel I ever pressured him I just know I do w sex sometimes (we had an argument several months ago about this because I want it all the time and he doesn't) and with family events. Since my family is so big there are constant "functions" and he has a very small family and isn't accustomed to such thinsg so we made a compromise that we'd discuss him coming only to special occassions (weddings, etc). I NEVER talk about marriage or kids - he actually used to A LOT in the begining of the realtionship now not so much (says he's scared of marriage , freaks out about dreams having kids). Am I doing something wrong? I totally let him do what he wants. Never object to anything he does and I try to be as understadning as possible at all times. Am I missing something or just reading too much into what he said?


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What Guys Said 1

  • You're reading into things too much. Perhaps, it's just in your nature to be pressuring, but your boyfriend still overlook that and tries to be with you.


What Girls Said 1

  • Lol based upon your title you want to pressure him into not feeling pressured by you.

    Do you let people say no or do you constantly try to talk them into the answer you want to hear?

    Your entire description sounds like you don't like to hear "no" and try to get them to change their minds. That is pressuring them :P

    You should try to respect people's decisions.

    As for sex, it's no different from a guy pressuring a girl into sex than it is for you to pressure your boyfriend into sex... Would you like it if a man didn't respect your decision and kept trying to get you to have sex with him?

    • Never saw it like that but understadn what you're saying. I'm OK with people saying no... I don't think I try to get them to change minds. I'm respectful of my boyfriend no's when it comes to family events (bc they are frequesnt) perhaps I'm not oso much when it comes to other things...