The wedding day or the marriage itself, which is more important to you?

A friend of mine got married on June 1st and since then it's had

me thinking about stuff like this. I was thinking, looking back

I've never thought about the wedding day. I mean, I've thought about

the honeymoon and where we'd go (hopefully somewhere tropical!)

I've thought about the wedding night and what it would be like, but

other that I've never thought about the wedding and all the details

to go with it.

I usually think about the marriage itself and what that would be

like. I think about what the house would look like, what cars we have, furniture

we'd pick out, the bills we'd have to pay, our kids and what we would

name them, what it would be like to be pregnant, if my dog that I have now

would live with us or stay with my parents, would my in-laws like me,

would I like them lol, what it would like to share a bed with someone and

not have to sleep alone anymore, what we'd watch on TV together,

if I'd be good cook,etc etc. I think about a lot of the day to day stuff

and what that would be like. And, us being there for each other and

just everything! I don't know if I'll ever get married, I just don't know anymore.

It doesn't seem possible, like it use to.

Anyway, what matters most to you? And, why?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Of course the marriage. It's the rest of my life. But it won't be such a mystery like you describe. I won't be marrying anyone I haven't lived with for a few years so all that stuff is known. I do wonder about what property I'll buy and how I will furnished it but seen as I don't know if I'll marry then it's my dreams not a marriage dream. I think I'm more likely to own a property of my own before I marry. Why don't you figure some of these things out on your own. They are not all dependent on marriage. For example, you wonder if you'll be a good cook. You are at least 25. You should know this by now unless someone has been feeding you. Don't pin your dreams on other people. You'll do yourself no favors. If you can't make yourself happy then nobody can and you won't be able to make anyone else happy either. Focus on yourself and your independence. When you least expect it you might meet the guy who answers the remaining questions.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • The marriage. But I understand that each girl wants to have a special night. o I gotta give her and myself one .. when I find her.

  • For me it's the marriage itself, to be honest the wedding day itself is more for the lady. :)

    I just want some input on the food, music, and alcohol being served. Everything else she can do! :)

  • The wedding itself since the wedding day can be set anytime.


What Girls Said 6

  • I think that in a relationship each day counts so the wedding day is part of the marriage. I think they are equally important.

  • I'm more like you, I tend to think waaay more about the marriage than the wedding. In fact, I plan to elope and not even have a wedding! I think weddings are overrated, and people feel that they HAVE to have a big wedding.

  • marriage is way more important than the wedding itself.

    you can have the grandest wedding ever but what comes next defines your wedding vows - your marriage.

  • The marriage, of course.

    I honestly couldn't care less about that one wedding day... they're usually really stressful anyway.

  • The marriage of course. I mean the wedding is semi-important since its the start of the marriage, but a wedding is not the end goal. The wedding is just the thing you need to go through for the marriage to become something real.

    I don't really think about either one in depth, maybe just a passing thought here and there, but then again I'm rather superstitious so I tend to avoid planning for the things I want until it seems like a sure thing.

  • The marriage!

    Here's a good example; Kris Humphries and Kim Kardashian.

    Gorgeous wedding! Lovely decorations, wonderful food I'm sure, and some of the most artistic, talented people to come and watch! The marriage? Kim was too self absorbed and obsessed with herself to compromise. She made her husband look like an ass in front of her family. Kris atually kind of was an ass sometimes. Then Kim didn't even have the balls nor the tact to sit down with him and have a conversation explaining that she thinks they need to split up; she effing announced it on Twitter lol! Shitty ass marriage/ beautiful wedding!

    I would rather get married in a courthouse surrounded by friends and family then have an amazing marriage, grow old together, babysit granchildren together then have a gorgeous wedding and a crappy marriage. Marriage is a HUGE deal and it's so important that the marriage outweighs the wedding not the other way around

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