Marriage advice anyone?

I've been married for a year and a half now, and a lot of times I feel like I'm lacking the attention I need daily. I would love my husband to give me compliments about how beautiful I am to him more often. I feel that once in a blue moon, he'll compliment my body but I want more than just sexual attention. I feel as though he only comes to me when he wants sex and only touches me when he wants sex. He's not the type to just give me I'm the type of woman who needs attention more often. What can I do to get him to change? Do I have to tell him this? It's not easy to talk about things like this for me. Also, how can I make our relationship stronger and make him love me more?

correction: ***He's not the type to just give me a massage or to cuddle without having the intention of sex.*****


Most Helpful Guy

  • I have to begin by saying that none of his behavior is YOUR fault.

    I'm afraid that you simply married an insensitive, undeveloped and... well... "basic" guy... who believes all physical contact needs result in sexual activity.

    Difficult as it is for you, l encourage you to sit down and have a talk with him. he needs to know that you are unhappy with things as they stand. No doubt he is as clueless at that as he is about everything else.

    You have the power to change things though...

    Explain your observations and feelings. Be very straightforward and honest. Be specific (I would even prepare a list for yourself in advance- not that you need to read from it or anything... mostly just to organize your thoughts).

    Decide which points mean the most to you- and put them at the top.

    If you do not tell him then you are likely condemned to suffer in silence- until one of you cheats... or simply falls out of love with the other. A likely scenario is that you will simply start witholding sex- just to get back at him. You may not even be aware you are doing it. This seems to happen in a lot of marriages... especially the ones heading for trouble and eventual failure.

    Sorry- but he sounds pretty thick. He certainly doesn't know how to treat a woman... and he won't learn unless you show him.

    What he would be wise to find out is not only how to be a real man- but realize that dividends are to be gained from being thoughtful, giving and sensual. Touching and attention should be EVERYDAY and certainly not sexual in scope- except naturally those times that they are. He should be generous in any number of ways... with his time, his attention and his loving... and not just to "get a reward", either.

    He needs to realize that you will feel MUCH sexier and wanting and willing IF (and only IF) he gets his act together... and starts acting like a man... and not some horny teenager who is beyond clueless in knowing how to treat his beautiful woman.

    Tell him just what you want... what you wish he would do more often... and hope he gets the message loud and clear.

    Good luck! I wish you the best- and a far better "everyday"...


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What Guys Said 2

  • Unfortunately it's a lull we seem to fall into.

    I'm not the affectionate type.

    My Dad was THE best Father in the world. He lived his life around me. He never said "I love you." Looking back it was shown to me in the things we did.

    That thing that gave birth to me, well same thing. NEVER ever did she say it

    I guess that's why for me.

  • If you want him to compliment you often, then compliment him always.


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