Hesitant on marriage

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 5 years. However...I want to progress our relationship but he is a little hesitant. Not from anything I have done, he is hesitant because he was burned in his previous marriage (bad divorced). How do I get him over this without being pushy or demanding. I try not to mention marriage because I want him to be ready. We could be perfect together. We are great together, it's just this wall that I have came upon. I can't prove to him that I am not her and I would never hurt him. I have given him several years and I feel he is the one for me. I just don't know if I should continue. I don't want to think that I am not good enough to fully commit to. Help...

Here it is July 2014 and I am looking back on some of the questions I have and this situation in particular... I am still in the same situation. I believe it's time to move on.


Most Helpful Guy

  • i tell you this from the bottom of my heart, I am going through a divorce and quite frankly I don't ever want to marry again. the pain and all the stress makes marriage still not worth it because the divorce ruins any happiness you have. it destroys you as a person, think of a divorce kind of like when someone dies. you grieve and cry and are horrible for a while. you realize that you don't know as much as you really knew about that person you see a different side of them you never ever saw before. the divorce brings out a side of you that they have never seen. it get ugly a lot and you gotta do all these things to protect yourself. its not fun nor is the divorce easy its months of this feelings.

    thats why he is so hesitant to don't get mad at him I wouldn't marry you or any girl even after 5 years.

    but marriage can be rewarding but you gotta be perfect with trust and money those two issues will rip you apart from the inside out. any insecurities must be addressed. you are the right age for it I was not but I learned a lot from it all. seriously think about everything before you make arrangements and pay for everything. have you even though about how much a wedding costs?

    • Thank you. I'm so sorry that you are going through a divorce. He has told me the same things as what you mentioned. However he has told me that he has thought about it. I'm 34 and he is 40. He knew from the start what I wanted out of our relationship. Maybe 5 years isn't enough time to want to go to the next step. He too got married at a young age...and for the wrong reasons. I have a lot going for me. He has future plans with me...but not the mention of marriage. I appreciate your response

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What Guys Said 2

  • Give it time. He'll soon beg for it.

    • Thank you. I will give it sometime. I know he loves me and I love him. I will have to be patient and hope that he trust me. I appreciate your reponse

  • You're right. It's not your fault. But divorce does sting a lot, usually the man far more than the woman.

    He probably totally trusted his ex when they got married. Maybe she was entirely sincere too. But, for some reason, it ended in tragedy.

    • Thank you. I never been through a marriage, and I wanted to give him time to heal. I just don't think it's fair that I have to suffer. I love him and understand that it's going to take some time and understanding on both of our parts. I appreciate your response.

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