This is kind of stupid but ah well.

My boyfriend and I have an awesome relationship and I was totally content with it. Until recently. Recently he straight up told me that we would be married one day. This was not a proposal, mind you. Just him informing me.

Having never thought of marriage yet (we only have been dating for a year and a half) it naturally got me thinking.

So. Now I have a problem. I want to be married now. He brought out the wedding beast in me I didn't know I had. I want to be engaged now. Plan my wedding. And then be married.

But I know logically, it doesn't make sense for us to get married any time soon as we're both still in school (3 years left) and we're not financially stable because we both still live with our parents while we're in school and I'm the only one with a job (minimum wage). I need to get myself in check and just relax and go with the flow until it happens. But I'm literally bouncing off the walls inside. Chomping at the bit. Going crazy. I just want to go go go. But I have to just be how do you think it'd be best to calm myself down?

Toutous is obviously one of those die hard feminists who would rather all the men in the world be dead.
Please explain how it's degrading for the love of your life, whom you would want nothing more than to be with for the rest of your life, to tell you that he wants the same thing? Explain that.


Most Helpful Guy

  • My guess is you guys have a lot on your plate right now, which is why a wedding and marriage is not the best plan at the moment. You both need to finish school, and hopefully get that first job out of college. A new marriage is stressful enough as it is. You don't want to add the stresses of finances, college, etc.

    He may not have the money for a engagement ring, and you've probably brought up marriage a few times. This was his way of telling you to be patient, and wait for him. If you believe he's worth waiting on, and you TRUST he only has eyes for you, then that's about as calming reassurance as you're going to get. Now, if you guys are waiting for marriage before having sex, then I can understand why you're going crazy.

    In the mean time, you should be busily preparing for marriage. Working hard...saving money, studying for school, and paying off any personal debt. If you're busy enough, you don't have time to be chomping at the bit, or about to go crazy concerning future things. Good luck.

    • We've never discussed it before.

    • I think you need to let your guy know how you feel about him and about getting married. It will make you feel better knowing that he knows.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 4

  • I'm not really liking the comments on this so far so I decided to put in my two cents. I know that I am young, but I am very good but I tend to give good advice. Don't let anyone judge you about the way he stated anything. I think it was really sweet that he sees a forever with you. I think it is okay to be excited at that revelation and realize you want the same thing, just move slowly about it.

    Focus on your goals and dreams because a ring and a few papers can wait. They won't change the way you feel about each other, I don't think. I don't think you should start turning your focus on getting married. Don't do anything in your life for the sake of being married. Do it because it is what gives you pleasure or fulfillment. While you can use it to motivate you in school, make sure that's not your only motivation because..(god forbids) it doesn't last those three or more years and then you find yourself detached from the things you were originally motivated about.

    I think you will calm down eventually once you get used to the idea. There is nothing wrong with checking out wedding things online and getting a feel for what you want for when the time comes that he has made clear he will marry you (if you say yes).

    Hope I helped.

  • So he just gave you an order about how you're to spend the remainder of your days. and what bothers you is it isn't soon enough? 'OK'.

  • call me w/e you want, I still think the whole thing is degrading.

    • oh and I would say the exact same thing if he were a woman, a transvestite a hermaphrodite or any other sex, gender, person.

      you think its cute when people decide things for you. I dont. end of story.

    • Well now, we are all entitled to our opinions. I for one think that his words were more of an affirmation of sorts...willing it into existence if you will. Which is sweet. The thought is sweet and so are the intentions behind it, I'm sure.

  • yes you need to calm down. he wants a futurre with you but he didn't actually propose

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