How to tell your boyfriend that you don't want kids or marriage?

I know a lot of guys freak out at even the mentioning of marriage or kids, but most of them do want it eventually. I need a way to carefully tell him I don't want that, without scaring him off. But I don't want to lead him on either. If he does want it eventually, he should know. It may seem like I take the relationship way too seriously way too soon, so when and how could it be introduced?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I would just sit him down and tell him. That's what I did for my boyfriend. Just the kid thing. Not marriage. We both want to get married, and both don't want kids.


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What Guys Said 1

  • First of all, there is no set way of telling a guy you don't want kids or marriage and him not being scared off from it. The truth is that it can be a deal breaker for one guy and not for the next guy.

    To actually answer your question, being that there's no set way to ensure he doesn't run away, you can ease into matter like bring up a conversation where it would come to you having to say that you don't want kids or marriage.

    Don't just drop it on him because some people become rash towards things like that so it's best to be subtle about these things. Delivery of information is key.


What Girls Said 2

  • There is no special way to tell him.

    Are you asking us to form a strategy that will trick him into staying with you even though he wants the opposite?

    Just say it, there is no special formula. No matter how he feels about this, no matter what he does afterward, it is the only fair and kind thing to do for someone you're dating.

    • No, I just don't want him to think I take the relationship too seriously. If I tell him too early, it might scare him off that I'm even thinking about those kinds of things.

    • No it won't. Unless he is a halfwit, or just interested in sex.

      If he is actually dating you, it will be fine. I've thrown my plans for the future into conversations with my past boyfriends and they all reacted fine. No one thought I just wanted to marry them right now.

  • Just say it. Maybe wait till the "right time" like during conversation or when kids or a child is brought up

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