What would be the top 5 marriage advice you would give to me?

I have been dating this girl for over 3 years and would like to propose her. What would be some important marriage advice you can offer?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Some things I've learned from living with a member of the opposite sex for five years, which will hopefully help you in marriage:

    1. Communicate. If you can get married, have babies, have sex, etc. then you should be able to talk about anything and everything on this planet. Nothing is sacred. You have to be open.

    2. Honesty. Tell the truth. If there is something you don't want to be truthful about, chances are you shouldn't have done it in the first place. Trust is the most important element of a long relationship, and it can only be achieved if both people feel secure in their knowledge of their partner.

    3. Know what you are getting into. Have you discussed kids? Hope so. Religion? You better. Money, cars, jobs, dreams and goals? All need to be tackled. Don't get two years into the marriage and then decide that its over because she never wanted kids and you have to have them, or vice versa. You will have to share and compromise in everything, sure, but it is best that you know precisely where both of you lie on the major issues so that there are no future surprises.

    4. Go to bed angry once in a while, but not on the couch. If you can't solve the fight, then don't. Go to bed, sleep on it, and in the morning it might seem incredibly trivial. Or, perhaps the time has lessened the emotions and you can both speak rationally about it now. But go to bed together. Call a truce, go to bed, and still be together through your anger. It will cement the fact that yes, you are separate individuals who are mad at each other, but you still love one another enough to realize that you will get through this argument.

    5. Sex is important. I'm not saying you have to have it "x" times in "y" positions, but you have to keep the intimacy alive. Sure, you might hit a dry spell. But you have to try to make time for that experience between the two of you, no matter how busy your lives get.

    6. Independence is important. Yes, you love your partner. Yes, you share everything with them. But sometimes, you need alone time. Or, you need time with your friends. Don't spend every waking moment with your significant other. Allow yourself to still have some personal time and hobbies that you can do without that person so you can keep some individuality. You can be an "I" and an "Us" at the same time.

    7. Understand marriage. This is not something that is convenient, or easy, or short. Marriage is supposed to be for the long haul, with divorce there only if you can't find any other way. There will be ups, downs, loops, bad times, good times, trials, and sunny moments. You have to know that you can be by that person through every one and that they will be by you.

    8. Have fun. You love this person, and it should be. Keep it that way.


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What Girls Said 2

  • 1) Communication is key

    2) Bad times are inevitable, what matters is how you work through them

    3) Don't ever think you know all there is to know about the other person

    4) Give and take to take and give

    5) Every day is a gift so please treat the people you see daily like they are precious because you never know when it could all end.

  • 1. Make sure you have at least one thing in common. Camping, sports, travel, reading, exercise, something like that

    2. Be sure she's not so close to her parents that they'll end up spending more time with her than you do

    3. Is she after your money? best if she's not.

    4. Is she able to hold down her own job? best if she can.

    5. Is she at least as smart as you are? best if she's a little smarter (instead of just thinking she is).


What Guys Said 5

  • Be clear (for BOTH parties) on what you (as an individual) want from this marriage. Compare your want-lists.

    Can you get along well, even as friends ? i.e. share common interests, conversational topics, similar personalities. There is a lot more to life than making love in the bedroom. Life is waiting for both of you OUTSIDE the bedroom too.

    Responsibilities --- both parties should understand things like

    1. Each of you are responsible for your own happiness. Any mature person should know that this is his/her responsibility, not anyone else's. Taking charge of this eliminates the possibility that any of you becoming a control freak, trying to control the other, making sure the other comply to your requests IN ORDER for you to be happy. Possessiveness in strong dosages kills any relationship --- who wants to be treated like an object without life ?

    2. Practicalities --- money, offsprings (if you plan to have kids --- when, where, who does what, HOW are you going to educate your kids).

    3. Freedom --- how much do each of you want ? And, for what ? i.e. Freedom, to do what ? You don't want to feel like going back to a prison which you call "our home", everyday, for the rest of your life.

    4. Boredom --- this is one sure-killer for any relationship; try eating caviar each meal for 5 days and see what happens. So, what happens when you are living with the same person for rest of your life ? Do you two have any solutions to deal with boredom, i.e. to keep the relationship alive ? (Please don't use your children that way, they are not here to be used as a tool to bring relief to YOUR boredom. :) )

    All the best !

  • Most things have already been covered... But get a marriage contract. Divorces do happen, and you have to think about it *before* you get married.

  • 1. Analyze if you are really ready to take on family responsibilities that eventually follows a wedlock.

    2. It is not how long, but how well you know your girl really matters.

    3. Living together as man and wife will not be same as dating. A lot of adjustments may be necessary. Are you both ready for it?

    4. Sometime it may impact one's carrier, other relationships, ambition etc. Do you think you have considered everything at some length?

    5. Above all, is this attraction mutual and absolutely well founded?

  • 1)the most important aspect of marriage is to trust your partner. So maintain a trust in your partner.

    2)learn to compromise in hard situations.

    3)be the first to apologize and patch up during a bitter period in the marriage.

    4)be patient and understanding.

    5)love only your wife !

  • 1- take her to a place which is not frequented by visitors(late evening).

    2- tell her how important she's for you being with her.

    3- express your love to her and talk about the days you spent together

    4- indirectly hint her what your intentions are tonight.

    5- get down on your knees and propose her showing a ring (so that she feels that your are absolutely telling the truth).

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