I have been dating this girl for over 3 years and would like to propose her. What would be some important marriage advice you can offer?
Most Helpful Girl
Some things I've learned from living with a member of the opposite sex for five years, which will hopefully help you in marriage:
1. Communicate. If you can get married, have babies, have sex, etc. then you should be able to talk about anything and everything on this planet. Nothing is sacred. You have to be open.
2. Honesty. Tell the truth. If there is something you don't want to be truthful about, chances are you shouldn't have done it in the first place. Trust is the most important element of a long relationship, and it can only be achieved if both people feel secure in their knowledge of their partner.
3. Know what you are getting into. Have you discussed kids? Hope so. Religion? You better. Money, cars, jobs, dreams and goals? All need to be tackled. Don't get two years into the marriage and then decide that its over because she never wanted kids and you have to have them, or vice versa. You will have to share and compromise in everything, sure, but it is best that you know precisely where both of you lie on the major issues so that there are no future surprises.
4. Go to bed angry once in a while, but not on the couch. If you can't solve the fight, then don't. Go to bed, sleep on it, and in the morning it might seem incredibly trivial. Or, perhaps the time has lessened the emotions and you can both speak rationally about it now. But go to bed together. Call a truce, go to bed, and still be together through your anger. It will cement the fact that yes, you are separate individuals who are mad at each other, but you still love one another enough to realize that you will get through this argument.
5. Sex is important. I'm not saying you have to have it "x" times in "y" positions, but you have to keep the intimacy alive. Sure, you might hit a dry spell. But you have to try to make time for that experience between the two of you, no matter how busy your lives get.
6. Independence is important. Yes, you love your partner. Yes, you share everything with them. But sometimes, you need alone time. Or, you need time with your friends. Don't spend every waking moment with your significant other. Allow yourself to still have some personal time and hobbies that you can do without that person so you can keep some individuality. You can be an "I" and an "Us" at the same time.
7. Understand marriage. This is not something that is convenient, or easy, or short. Marriage is supposed to be for the long haul, with divorce there only if you can't find any other way. There will be ups, downs, loops, bad times, good times, trials, and sunny moments. You have to know that you can be by that person through every one and that they will be by you.
8. Have fun. You love this person, and it should be. Keep it that way.