Gentlemen, are there those among you who want to find your wife?

I'm just wondering how many guys out there are wanting to find that last girlfriend. It seems like a lot of guys are content to just date for long periods of time and just 'see where it goes", or are turned off by the idea of a life partner right now. I'm not saying rush, just that you are looking for that sort of relationship, or at least if it came you'd be for it. Responses from all ages are welcome, but gents in the 25-35 age range, I'd particularly like to hear your input!


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think when guys are honest about how they feel about all this, they get criticized a lot. But I?m going to be honest. The only choices are to acknowledge how men feel, or to deny reality. So here goes.

    For many reasons, men are much less interested in marriage than ever before. The main reason is that the divorce and family courts are so skewed in favour of women. Many men understand that it?s genuinely dangerous to get married these days.

    A major reason that men are ?playing around? in general is that many men feel that they need to make up for lost time. I know so many men who remain unsuccessful in young adulthood, but then become attractive in their late twenties and their thirties. If you weren?t able to get laid for the first decade or decade and a half that you had that desire, are you going to settle down? Hell no. I think the problem has gotten worse because of women?s increased standards, which many young men just can?t fulfil.

    But men do want companionship, and it?s not impossible to get a man to want to marry you but it?s just far more difficult than ever. I think you should be open to things like pre-nups. But also if a man says he will stay with you forever, isn?t that enough? Why would you want a piece of paper, unless you intend to take away his stuff later? Even then, he?s taking a risk by having children, because often the man?s children get taken away from him.

    Unfortunately, many places in the West are introducing cohabitation laws that impose a legal situation similar to marriage on cohabiting couples. If that becomes widespread, it may not be just marriage that is finished, but cohabitation altogether. I?m not going to risk poverty, bankruptcy and debtors? prison for the sake of intimacy.

    • My apostrophes got replaced with question marks for some bizarre reason. Sorry.

    • In case you're wondering, I'm not going to get married. If I meet the right girl, I will pledge myself to her forever, have kids with her, and live with her (in some place that doesn't have those cohabitation laws). If all that and all my love isn't good enough for her, if she really needs that piece of power that gives her the power to bankrupt me unilaterally, then she's not the right girl for me anyway.

    • *piece of paper

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • Well, I got married fairly young.

    Generally, most men I know in that age range definitely plan to marry at some point, but are in absolutely no hurry to do so. Most men don't think 'time to find a wife'. They just drift along dating and having fun. One day they find themselves with someone where they think 'wow, I want to be with her forever, I want to marry her'. But they weren't specifically looking for that feeling, it just happens.

    As they get into their early 30's, they find women their own age are suddenly starting to get 'where is this going'. And most of them ... reacted by avoiding women over 30.

  • I don't know a damn thing about dating or relationships, so I don't think it would ever happen for me or if it did, how I would go about doing it or whatever. I think I will just always be a complete and utter social failure, so getting married is not even close to being on my mind. I am still in the midst of wondering why I wake up in the morning, and wondering if a girl likes me. being 27 years old and never dated, at this point I think that it is just to embarrassing to even try. when someone finds out you have never dated or had any really strong relationships then they would leave anyway.

    would I want to find a wife? I don't know...I don't know what being emotionally involved with someone means, I don't know what another human could possibly bring to my life, and at this point, after years of not being at par with my peers on the social scale, it means that there isn't one girl on earth that would want to be with a guy like me. and then I always wanted to start a relationship when I was younger, so I could be fun and have some kind of understanding of what it means to like someone for who they really are, and have a girl like me for who I really am. at my age people just want somebody to support their future goals, start a family or work and get old.

    I don;'t know maybe I am just to fucked up to realize what a relationship might bring to my life, whether it be some sort of happiness, someone to do things with, to experience sex or whatever . but I feel that I am at a point where relationships just might not be worth anything anymore, as people have only ever tried to change me, or make me feel like shit about myself

    I think that if I had not had social anxiety in my life I could see through the fog to understand the potential benefits of being with a girl, and of course I still want to experience it to see if it is actually fun or brings me back to life or something, but I really don't know. I just don't know. If I can ever learn to be real and happy with myself then maybe I could spend my life with someone.

  • I really want to find my wife. Been looking for years now, but I haven't come across any woman that's worth that level of commitment.

    From what I've seen of my married friends' marriages, women seem to have forgotten that husbands are people too.

    • how old are you and what are you looking for in a wife?

    • My age is in my profile, and I'm looking for an independent, strong and feminine woman who has more to her than just a job description and her looks. Someone who isn't afraid to get her hands dirty on a good plate of ribs, but can still peel a shrimp with a fork & knife. Someone who can teach me something and learn something from me. Someone who can be my partner in every sense of the word.

  • There are still men who want to marry, but not nearly as many as in the past. There are two primary reasons for that: 1) marriage offers men fewer benefits today than in the past - women are just different and less appealing in some important ways, and 2) women are more open to casual sex now and the commitment of marriage is just not necessary.


What Girls Said 2

  • At 18-24 most men and women are in college working on their careers and creating a foundation for their financial stability when they are older.

    Men, generally (if they want marriage), look for marriage partners once they have an established career in their finances. Normally in the 302-40s age range.

    So its common for men in your age range to NOT be interested in marriage at the moment.

  • It seems like guys who want to get married are in the severe minority. However, most guys still seem pretty open to marriage if the right girl comes along. It seems like most guys don't expect to find a person they would love and trust enough to want to marry them so that's not their goal with dating. They just see how things go and act accordingly.

    • My boyfriend never wanted to get married and he has kind of a chip on his shoulder when it comes to women and marriage but he wound up wanting to marry me anyway.