Would it be mean to tell my sister to push her wedding off for another year for her own good?

My sister is 29 and has 3 kids, and the man she's with right now is the father of her 2 daughters she had recently. Her son is the oldest (7) and he has a different father, and my sister and him divorced. So my sister wants to get married to her daughter's father.
But my sister is basically living off welfare and expects my mom to pay for everything. My sister and her fiance had gotten drunk together to where he choked my sister to where he almost killed her. Then She took the last little bit of my mom's money by lying to her and has gotten speeding tickets.
Today, my sister called me saying she wants me to be her maid of honor. I went and bought my mom's groceries and my mom literally has no money, and she doesn't even have a place to live; she lives in a store, because of all this and my sister has a criminal record so my mom has to put everything under her name.
I hate having to see my mom suffer like this, and my sister thinks my mom is going to pay for her wedding. My mom already said she couldn't pay for it.
How do I go about telling my sister to move her wedding to a different date? Also to grow up and come to her senses without upsetting her. She claims to be this hard core christian and yet I'm atheist, and I don't want her to pull that card on me again.

She wants the wedding day to be May 15th but my sister literally has no money and can barely take care of her kids.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Someone needs to stand up to your sister, put the foot down, and say enough is enough. It is impossible to take advantage of someone who will not allow themselves to be taken advantage of. Neither you nor your mother should give your sister ANY money under ANY circumstances, until you can truly tell she is honestly trying to better her life. And even then, don't let her drain your resources. You and your mom need to be more concerned about taking care of yourselves than your sister.

    Your mother is under absolutely no obligations to pay for the wedding. If your sister wants to get married, then fine, but don't expect any financial support from you or your mother. You need to give your sister some serious tough love and definitely do not enable her. A person can only be enabled if there is someone willing to enable them. Do not support her drinking, lying, or leeching anymore. It truly will help your sister in the long run, and hopefully force her to start getting her affairs in order, being more responsible, and being able to handle her own finances. She may respond in an angry, upset, or even vicious manner. Do not succumb. You and your mother are going to have to be stronger than her, instead of allowing her to call the shots because you're afraid she may throw a tantrum.


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What Guys Said 2

  • If you tell her in a caring way, it won't be mean. But realize that she will make her own decisions and be there to support her whatever she decides.

  • "my sister thinks my mom is going to pay for her wedding. My mom already said she couldn't pay for it."

    That's what you need to slap into your sisters head. Over and over until it gets in.


What Girls Said 0

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