social/culture changes towards submissive and dominance in a relationship is it good or bad thing?

I am not talking about the extremes but rather in general. (question will probably piss someone off but here goes)

Ok 100 years ago woman where more submissive then dominant , women where respectful, marriage meant a life time comment , if a couple had a problem they worked it out people where happier and family's stayed together, yes woman had less rights back then and that could be a bad for some things but back then men did seek and want to marry woman and protect them. Family's had god with minor interference form the church or government

Now modern times woman have have full rights to what ever most feel they should be the dominant one in a relationship, peoples idea of marriage is not much different then a short term car lease now, if a couple has problems divorce and find another one , kids grow up only knowing one parent, our world now revolves around money instead of family. Now family's have less good and more church and Government dictating there life. Men have adapted to be more of "players" for woman.

So now to the question , as a culture are we foolish enough to think that things are getting better or will the next generation start to learn an change?

  • Yes the changes have been a good thing
    Vote A
  • No changes are bad for our culture
    Vote B
  • I'm not sure never really thought about it before
    Vote C
Select a gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
It is pretty sad that only a few can read and consider the real cultural changes to our society , even worse that so many stereo typed the publicity rather then address the issue :(

the one attack post toward another poster was sadly pathetic :(


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think the changes have benefits but are mostly for the worse. I think women should be able to work if they so choose to and maintain the home (as he should help with obvious things) but she should be submissive and cater to her man however it took me awhile to even get to this point so some women just have to get there on their own. Thank goodness I'm only 22 and have figured it out.

    In relationships though couples have to also remember though the child is priority their relationship should come first because if they fall apart everything falls apart

    • well I am glad some could read and UNDERSTAND the post without going to extremes like others did.

      that is pretty much teh same as my opinion and I am glad to see of the one person who understood it happens to be in your age bracket that means there is still hope for our culture

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    • I'm sorry she attacked you like that for giving your opinion , I felt it was childish and pathetic on her part.

    • Aw thanks, it's okay though didn't bother me one bit. She has her opinion and I have mine.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 8

  • 100 years ago women were more submissive and dominant or else their husbands would beat the shit out of them. Marriage was a lifetime commitment because "lifetime" was only about 50 years long and only a man could call for divorce it was illegal for a woman to have a say in the matter so a man could cheat on you for years and years and you couldn't leave him. If a couple had a problem the woman shut up about it because there was a lot of social stigma around talking about bad parts of your marriage (you had to pretend everything was perfect. If a teenager for pregnant they went "to live with their aunt" or had a shotgun wedding. Back then you lied and pretended like everything was gumdrops and rainbows. Now we speak the truth). If a woman ever wanted to get out of a relationship with her husband she had to poison him (which was actually pretty common) she was STUCK for life because she couldn't get a job. Even if she ran away he still had control. She was his property.

    The same things that are happening now were happening back then. The teen pregnancies , the infidelity, the cheating, the stealing, etc. It's actually BETTER now than it was in the past. You're much less likely to get murdered now that you were 100 years ago. The only difference is we have news. People talk where 100 years ago people hid everything bad that ever happened. You think they'd let anything bad about a politician get out 100 years ago? Hell no they'd shred every bit of evidence they found. Now that information would be out before he could say "it wasn't me".

    Now, if you want to find a woman who will let you beat on her and won't leave you be my guest there are tons of them out there, but you'll be on the front page of the news in less than 10 years whereas 100 years ago everybody would keep quiet about you being a drunken, abusive husband and blame HER for your terrible behavior.

    • I think that is uneducated stereo typing of your youth , 100 years ago was the time my grand parents and there friends where young kids in love , The "stuck" is also a stereotype , my one grandmother was poorer side but had the money of her own she could have left any time she wanted my other grandmother was not poor and also could have left anytime if she wanted I know know several other couple of there age that are the same so stuck term is just youthful stereotyping and and I don't now of any of those woman ever beat. Now I do know my ex's parents even though we barley saw or talked with them her father beat her mother but she refused to leave more then once. again you avoid reading the first sentence and went straight to the extremes anyway.

      OH and furthermore I have NEVER raised my hand to a woman or would I , like I said I was brung up with different moral values by the woman you claim to be abused

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    • 150 years ago for slavery sorry. Simple mistake

    • No actual I was not thinking of it form a mans or womans specific point of view but rather as couples and family with the effect of it on society in general.
      I also think that you should go back in to your history class after math class tomorrow and see if your trying to use extremes situations for 100 years ago or 200 years ago
      either way good luck to you

  • Try looking at it in reverse. You men have no rights and are the submissive ones, but things appear to be going ok because divorce is taboo and we still want you as long as we are superior and you have no rights.

    You want and receive the same rights as us, and maybe even have a little chip on your shoulder because of years of inferiority, but you still want to marry. We then respond with anger, backlash, and only want to play you, never marry you, because we don't like your equal rights to ours. You shouldn't have "stirred the pot." Things were *great* as they were when we ruled and you didn't.

    Would you say this was YOUR fault for wanting equal rights, or OUR fault for responding so negatively to it?

    It's up to debate really. Both sides are at fault, but I refused to accept that if we'd just continued on, things would be better. That's very easy for you to say as the man with the dominance and rights, but put yourself in our shoes.

    • I see you did not understand the post but rather only consider the extremes

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    • Tatiahna,
      No that would imply I have problems finding girls which is not the case , my personal issue is finding ones worth keeping and I also am seeing my sons and there friends having the same issues with woman not worth keeping for LTR
      yes I "can" be a nice guy but I also can be a A**H*** really depends on the other peoples personality's

    • Nice Guy wasn't what popped into my head at all.

  • Do you know why divorce was less prevalent then than it is now? Other than the fact that there's less social stigma surrounding it. Because women had less rights, they didn't work, so if they wanted to leave a bad situation, they did not have to means to do so. They were generally kept at home to tend to the house and kids.. if they don't have their own form of financial independence... where would they go? How would they get out? How would they provide for their kids without any means? It wasn't all rainbows and unicorns like you're making it out to be. Women stayed because they didn't feel like they had a choice, or they got beat into staying. Domestic violence was not reported. Men generally didn't feel the need to leave because they could do whatever the hell they wanted to anyway and know they'd still have their trophy wife at home regardless of what he did.

    • This. Plus it was also legal at the time to beat and rape your wife, so reporting it would be useless.

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    • MaskedSanity,
      if she can broadly assume all husbands beat and raped their wife's then why it it wrong for me to use a phase as broad as "desire to stay together"? what evidence that its changed -- read the underage kid Slimart's post above the last two lines they figure it's ok to trade out every 3 month to three years this thinking effects our whole society
      Statistics-- I can only base my opinions on what I have seen and I did ask for honest opinions of the changes to our social culture which very few where able to do with out getting side tracked on extremes

    • I didn't broadly assume that ALL husbands acted in that manner. I just stated that it was socially acceptable.

  • social/culture changes towards submissive and dominance in a relationship is it good or bad thing?
    A. Yes the changes have been a good thing
    I find it a good thing as it seems guys and gals are more free to be submissive or dominant based on their personality rather than be conditioned to think it's based on their genitals ala 'being feminine = submissive' and 'being masculine = dominance'

    So now to the question , as a culture are we foolish enough to think that things are getting better or will the next generation start to learn an change?
    I don't think it's foolish to think things are getting better as I find gals having equal rights is getting better. I highly doubt in a culture where it was legal to beat/rape your wife and such actions were seemingly often dismissed or little that guys wanted to protect gals.

    • ok thank for you opinion and answering the question directly.
      While I agree that womans rights was a good thing I question the negative effects that it has had on relationships and society as a whole.
      I also find it surprising that the younger generations of women keep emphasizing because it was "legal" they think all men beat and raped their wife's , yet I see more guys now days actual raising their hands to the girls then then I ever saw growing up or form my elders. I know more then once I've had to say something to some/many of the young guys hanging out with us at the beach or on the boat and a lot of the girls are no better they think its normal and they also hit often to. It is little stuff like this (maybe it's new the moral upbringing?) that I think I find it hard to see lasting LTR's work and if they don't work that effects the culture as a whole, BUT at the same time I can understand you points of view with the rights issue.

      Thanks again for your opinion

    • Meh I think the only negative effects it has had on relationships is that gals have more freedom, resources, and safety to leave. As for a negative effect on society I don't see how gals getting equal rights has a negative effect on society unless one thinks it's a bad thing.

      Vastly different experiences and opinions on the younger generation raising their hands more. I find my female elders state that guys of my generation do it far less than their generation.

      Statistics I've seen state that domestic violence against gals has been decreasing.

      I do agree on gals hitting often too as I find unlike with past generations gals are less afraid to fight back.

    • I doubt it's upbringing moral or otherwise that is why it's hard to see LTRs lasting.

      Likely it's more that gals have more of a choice so their options aren't as limited as it seems it was in previous generations. Gals are less likely to remain in unhappy unhealthy relationships as they have more freedom, resources, and safety to leave.

      I don't think it's necessarily reasonable to measure the length of a LTR as regarding quality. I've known plenty of previous generations LTRs and I've found almost all of the women hated their husbands. One even broke her hip dancing on his grave.

      I'd rather gals are in happy healthy relationships that they enjoy being in no matter the timeline of it rather than just being in a relationship that lasts long.

      Different opinions it seems.

  • ...Well first you need a history lesson...110 years a ago a women couldn't leave her husband even if she want to..he had the right to behead her if she tried or even stepped a foot out of line.They might have been respectful to an extent but once behind closed doors, let the beatings commence. Now women having right..I don't think women want to be dominate as you so perceive, They want to have a Co-dominance, equality.

    You still don't have that today in majority families and couples.The men are still the dominate maybe no money wise but socially.
    Also, just because divorce rate has risen doesn't mean it's bad..because usually those people get remarried until they find their true lover

  • Would you be willing to be the submissive partner, so that marriages will 'mean' something again?

  • i personally think the changes have made us go against the will of God so for me its not good.

  • I would rather be submissive


What Guys Said 2

  • A century ago none of that occurred. It's all myth. The only difference was "Lifelong" was 40 years less and opportunities for the working class were about zero with smaller communities making it easier to enforce preventative measures against infidelity but it still happened and probably in similar amounts to today. Also families had "god" with massive influence from church and government.

    We make this up to justify a misogynistic outlook and create a fairytale "Men's Paradise" but in reality life sucked 100 years ago unless you were rich. This is also very English in nature and does not incorporate most of the world at all. It's racist misogynistic slave-driving drivel.

    • Note: "The Slaves" are the working class, not African americans, you know like back in the Industrial Era where children lost their fingers in machinery? Yeah. That's how much better life was.

    • I think you just tried to post a politically correct statement

      I don't think myth is accurate , if you think back 100 years ago is around my grandparents and they all live over their 90's happily married

    • Whatever you say slim. I'm not in the business of fixing delusions.

  • The answer is B in the US and most of the West. Things are far worse today than in the past but most people don't recognize that because they have been spoon fed the feminist version of history, which is mostly BS, and don't really know how things were back then. Not only were men treated better by women, but women were treated better by men. Today men mostly treat women like men, because that's what they asked for and what they got. Men and women respect and admire each other far less now than in the past.

    The family has indeed suffered, largely because of so many children raised by single mothers (subsidized by the state), which is another unfortunate legacy of feminism that permeates society in so many ways most people aren't thoughtful enough to see. Additionally, even with two working parents children are not nearly as well cared for as when they had a dedicated mother home caring for and teaching them and making sure they knew they were loved. That as opposed to a paid daycare worker who doesn't care for them in the same way.

    Some good things also came from some of the changes, namely women's freedom to vote, get an education, work, etc., but the price to society far outweighs the benefits.

    • You hit on some key points like men treat woman like men now days because that what they wanted but that changes the relationship between men and women.

      I was watching a study by a college professor in Japan the other day comparing Japan to American culture wise. This made a good study between different cultures and some effects. The girls and boys get the same college education , but some unusual factors are they don't normally have room mates like we do , they have same sexual opportunity American youth do but there teen pregnancy rate & unwed parent rate is ridiculously low low compared to the US. This helps explains the US population overgrow where Japans culture does not have that problem

      Out of the girls polled it was like 70-80% wanted to be married and be at home even though they had the same degrees as men, their finical expectations where more realistic to live within there means unlike American girls.

    • Dating was another point in that study they general did not have long dating cylcle nor did they just live together like many Americans do , when they find someone they like they get married and intend to stay married making it work

      There are many effects to a culture as a whole form just small changes. I agree that while some good things came but as a whole we suffer, and unfortunately the children suffer the most on top of which the propaganda story's that are told to each generation of children get worse every time so instead of being able to see and address the issues of our society they are forced to suffer more and will only pass that same thing on to future generation.

    • Interesting study on Japan vs the US. Thanks for sharing that. I think the Japanese have a lot of things figured out that we don't understand here in the US. To me, one of the biggest differences is the sense of entitlement we have here, and I'm sorry to say it but it's a bigger problem with females than males. It is the root cause of so many societal issues we face today. The reason for that sense of female entitlement is debatable, but I have my theories.