Hey boys...It's up to you to protect a guy from a stalker/creepy attack. Help the dude by telling me what to do.

Question

Long but Details are IMP...sorry.

He was in my class since Jan. girls told me he wasn't my type and they could set me up with others, when really they liked him and noticed him paying attention to me. We started talking in Feb. he told me to add him on fb. The first times we talked we just talked liked people. I was new at this whole flirting thing,even in college. I gave on/off signals (sometimes saying hi, something not—in the hopes he would say hi first). He understood it was anxiety and we talked more. He changed his fb pro pic to something we discussed in class, a love bird. No one got the meaning of the pic but me. However, though he deleted my comment on that, he didn't on his happy b day. I told him he should talk to me me more often and to reinforce it I sat closer to him but not next to him in class. A girl had tried that and he was turned off. He started to dress up and come early to class and we started being around one another every day. But our convos really didn't go anywhere, mostly because of me... I just didn't know how. He was getting frustrated. Once he came early and I was too scared to hang out with him. That day I kept seeing him and I realized it was our last day of class and this was going nowhere. I wanted to say bye but when he says generic “hey how are u?” when I try to take the convo further, he gets annoyed and says rudely “he's super busy and has to go”. That night, from a friend, I found out he blocked me. In class he would stare so often and I've never initiated convo with a guy t hat people noticed. Even our professor noticed. So from my fam fb account I send him a msg saying ''you're rude and immature but that I did like u''. during our final he stared endlessly but I ignored him. We bump into each other in relay 2 weeks later, he comes around my tent 4x but won't say anything. I'm confused because he didn't unblock my fb account but didn't block my mom's fb. The fourth time I see him looking at something I worked on for our booth but when I smile at him, he runs away. At night I see him with a girl but I overreact and think he's flirting and just look pain but keep my head high, roll my eyes and walk away. Next week I bump into him twice. He walks toward me but I avoid him. He stares but I avoid him. 2 weeks more go by. I see him at an event he's openly passionate about while I'm discrete about it (guys already like me for my brains and looks...I like to keep humanitarian causes secret). Anyway he gets p*ssed when he sees me but then softens over and won't stop staring when he realizes I really know the cause and how guys kept paying attention to me. I find out we have our spring class int he same building. Next week I see him there as well. After that everything goes blank... until yesterday, I see him entering from the other side of the building. I freeze and he stares at me, looks down, and slowly walks up the stairs. I think he's avoiding going from the front entrance. It turns out he was at the same bistro.

Updates:

+1 y

yesterday night where I had my birthday party (no he didn't know... because I kept it very hushed and the only people invited were people he didn't know). Beside its mojito night and he likes to party party party... so it was pb coincidence

+1 y

I don't see him but I see his friend, and his friend keeps coming in our party area 2-3x. So do these girls who never liked me. But not him.

At the time he blocked me, he was studying for mcats and had a super tough course load

+1 y

He, like me, has never been in relationships. However, unlike me, he parties like crazy while I'm sheltered like crazy. He's an Arabic christian. I'm Pakistani Muslim but I'm liberal and most people think I'm Persian/White.

+1 y

College is ending. He helped me realize I don't have to settle with guys or dreams... I don't want to end this like this. We never talked on the phone, hung out...but... I want to say bye. How do I contact him? What do I do?

+1 y

He's good looking and most people can't even tell he's Arabic because one of his parents is white. Just like my household. I mentioned culture because it does influence ppl. It certainly influenced me and made it harder for me to start living life.

+1 y

Thank you for your time.

Answer 1

archn

Xper 6

Well I think that if he blocked you it's because he wants some space from you. It sounds like he may like you, but that he doesn't want to be in a committed relationship with you. You mentioned culture, and perhaps he is afraid if he is with you, that others may see the cultural difference, and he may be insecure with himself, and doesn't want that. What you need to do, is go on your mom's fb account, and let him know exactly how you feel, and don't beat around the bush and ask him any question you have, and see if he responds in private to you. The computer will help him have a chance to gather his thoughts before responding to you, while keeping you two from a face to face confrontation, which should help the situation, as he won't get nervous or scared. It's easy to hide behind a screen and write a message. If he doesn't like you, he'll tell you. That's it.

React

Asker

I sent him the "immature and rude but I liked you really and no games" msg...I can't send another. I guess silence means no... this hurts so damn much...and I can't do anything though I feel like yelling.

Answer 2

Asker

I sent him the "immature and rude but I liked you really and no games" msg...I can't send another. I guess silence means no... this hurts so damn much...and I can't do anything though I feel like yelling.

Answer 3

bijen

Xper 3

wow that was long. sorry but I couldn't read everything. as far as I can tell your story goes like this" you see him, he's sees you and NOTHING ever happens" I can't really figure out the guy and what his deal is, except that he gets p*ssed at you for no reason at all" .and you should have taken the initiative when you had the chance.you can't dream of reaping fruits when you have planted any seeds right?i suggest you move on from this guy, if he did really like you he wouldn't act that way, if you are smart and looking, you will find someone else.

React

Asker

Nothing but an ex-crush. well that sucks. whatever. I just didn't want to be to forward with him. I know girls approach him 24/7 and he's selective or whatever...but I firmly belief guys hsould work a little too. now I can't do anything because it will seem stalkerish and all I have is his respect.
Asker

Self-respect*

Answer 4

Asker

Nothing but an ex-crush. well that sucks. whatever. I just didn't want to be to forward with him. I know girls approach him 24/7 and he's selective or whatever...but I firmly belief guys hsould work a little too. now I can't do anything because it will seem stalkerish and all I have is his respect.

Answer 5

Asker

Self-respect*

Answer 6

Mande1985

Xper 6

Well... I think you should just take a deep breath and talk to him. Tell him how you feel.. and don't tell him thinking that he will just fall into your arms. Tell him like he is missing out on something... "just for the record.." kind of thing. It will also help you in the future... to get the guts up to just go up to a guy you like or have a crush on and tell him.

React

Asker

Thank you but in the last 2 times we met, and the bistro incident last night, he's going to such great lengths to avoid me...
Mande1985

Maybe, just like you said in your update, you should just let it go. He is a lost cause.
Asker

I think I will confront him for e experience so the next guy I have more experience, like you said. When I wrote the answer before, I wanted a chance with him. I have to accept that he doesn't want me...

Answer 7

Asker

Thank you but in the last 2 times we met, and the bistro incident last night, he's going to such great lengths to avoid me...

Answer 8

Mande1985

Maybe, just like you said in your update, you should just let it go. He is a lost cause.

Answer 9

Asker

I think I will confront him for e experience so the next guy I have more experience, like you said. When I wrote the answer before, I wanted a chance with him. I have to accept that he doesn't want me...

Answer 10

soccerrun1

Xper 3

You should work on how you approach and treat guys you like, this guy doesn't like you and if he does he is weird. I wouldn't really worry about it much just try to do a little better with the next one

React

Asker

Thanks. practice and experience is what is imp!

Answer 11

Asker

Thanks. practice and experience is what is imp!

Answer 12

Trihill | 59 opinions shared on Shopping & Gifts topic.

Yoda

do you know anything about persian culture? you might want to read up on it before pursuing a relationship with this guy if he was raised that way.

React

Asker

+1 y
They party like crazy and then settle down but still party, lol. but why does that mean he has to block me. I think he heard things about how conservative I am when really I was just scared to leave my bubble. as far as I know, nothing I did merited creepy block this girl behavior.
avksxx

+1 y
The dude is Arabic, and she's Pakistani but thinks she looks Iranian (Persian).
Asker

+1 y
I think he wrote the cultures wrong but that' s the Persian and Arabic Christian style of living. Muslims are supposedly more conservative but the media is wrong American Muslims are assimilating. Look at Miss America, Muslim and Christian upbringing!
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Asker

+1 y
He thought I was persian... duh, would have made our lives easier. Goshhhh

Answer 13

Asker

They party like crazy and then settle down but still party, lol. but why does that mean he has to block me. I think he heard things about how conservative I am when really I was just scared to leave my bubble. as far as I know, nothing I did merited creepy block this girl behavior.

Answer 14

avksxx

The dude is Arabic, and she's Pakistani but thinks she looks Iranian (Persian).

Answer 15

Asker

I think he wrote the cultures wrong but that' s the Persian and Arabic Christian style of living. Muslims are supposedly more conservative but the media is wrong American Muslims are assimilating. Look at Miss America, Muslim and Christian upbringing!

Answer 16

Asker

He thought I was persian... duh, would have made our lives easier. Goshhhh

Answer 17

avksxx

Xper 3

Your question has a copious amount of unnecessary information. If there any chance you could slim it down or paraphrase?

React

Asker

+1 y
We flirted. I played games I was new at it but became consistent. he flirted more and it was obvious. I told him I liked talking to him and he reciprocated and starting dressing up and coming to class early. I was inconsistent and shy face to face I admit. last day of class, I keep seeing him everywhere but when we talk he's rude. then I find out he blocked me from fb. I msged him saying he's immature and rude but that I did like him, no games. 2 weeks later he won't avoid me and comes by me
Asker

+1 y
But he won't speak. I avoid him because I got sick of it. he was staring at the booth we made butran away when I smiled. we bump into one another agian 2 weeks later. he's angry but then by the end won't stop staring. I find out we have classes in the same area and see him there next week. then 2 weeks later agin. I see him and he's coming through another door of the building I think to avoid me. he stares at me, I freeze, he looks down and then walks up stairs.
Asker

+1 y
Yesterday we were at the same bistro. I didn't see him but his friends and him were there I found out later todya. I saw his friend, who came by my area 3-4x shocked. I don't party and I've never had real friends until last year of college. then I see the girls who are his friends and they glare at me. he's avoiding me. but college is ending and I may nevr see him again. should I just let it end like this. I don't want to freak him out.
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Trihill

+1 y
I think you need to read more about the culture, your gut feeling is telling you the right answer but, I won't tell you that answer because you may not like it.
avksxx

+1 y
Of course you shouldn't let it end like that. You should definitely try to make a last ditch effort at being friends with him. If I were you, I'd rather end up looking like a creep than miss out on something good. Something to consider: You have a serious case of verbal diarrhea, which could be pretty intimidating for most men. I don't know if you talk as much in real life as you do on the internet, but I'd definitely tone it back when talking to the guy.
Asker

+1 y
I'm super shy when it comes to speaking. I think that's why I have verbal diarrhea...bc for some reason I can't speak even 1% of what I do on here. I would never take our convos further...it annoyed him but he was kind.then he blew up.

TRHILL please just say it. his culture doesn't effect me but it may be effecting him, which is silly because while I'm not a party girl, I'm not conservative...just inexperienced.

Answer 18

Asker

We flirted. I played games I was new at it but became consistent. he flirted more and it was obvious. I told him I liked talking to him and he reciprocated and starting dressing up and coming to class early. I was inconsistent and shy face to face I admit. last day of class, I keep seeing him everywhere but when we talk he's rude. then I find out he blocked me from fb. I msged him saying he's immature and rude but that I did like him, no games. 2 weeks later he won't avoid me and comes by me

Answer 19

Asker

But he won't speak. I avoid him because I got sick of it. he was staring at the booth we made butran away when I smiled. we bump into one another agian 2 weeks later. he's angry but then by the end won't stop staring. I find out we have classes in the same area and see him there next week. then 2 weeks later agin. I see him and he's coming through another door of the building I think to avoid me. he stares at me, I freeze, he looks down and then walks up stairs.

Answer 20

Asker

Yesterday we were at the same bistro. I didn't see him but his friends and him were there I found out later todya. I saw his friend, who came by my area 3-4x shocked. I don't party and I've never had real friends until last year of college. then I see the girls who are his friends and they glare at me. he's avoiding me. but college is ending and I may nevr see him again. should I just let it end like this. I don't want to freak him out.

Answer 21

Trihill

I think you need to read more about the culture, your gut feeling is telling you the right answer but, I won't tell you that answer because you may not like it.

Answer 22

avksxx

Of course you shouldn't let it end like that. You should definitely try to make a last ditch effort at being friends with him. If I were you, I'd rather end up looking like a creep than miss out on something good. Something to consider: You have a serious case of verbal diarrhea, which could be pretty intimidating for most men. I don't know if you talk as much in real life as you do on the internet, but I'd definitely tone it back when talking to the guy.

Answer 23

Asker

I'm super shy when it comes to speaking. I think that's why I have verbal diarrhea...bc for some reason I can't speak even 1% of what I do on here. I would never take our convos further...it annoyed him but he was kind.then he blew up.

TRHILL please just say it. his culture doesn't effect me but it may be effecting him, which is silly because while I'm not a party girl, I'm not conservative...just inexperienced.

Answer 24

muhammadnoman01

Xper 3

i am pakistani too. and liked the story
thanks for sharing

React

Asker

You pb knwo what is going on and aren't willing to share. Our cultures are all similar. I wish you would share. Most of his friends are Indian/Pakistani while mine are Arabic. I wish you would share your view.

Answer 25

Asker

You pb knwo what is going on and aren't willing to share. Our cultures are all similar. I wish you would share. Most of his friends are Indian/Pakistani while mine are Arabic. I wish you would share your view.

Hey boys...It's up to you to protect a guy from a stalker/creepy attack. Help the dude by telling me what to do.

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