Guys: you hate drama/emotional women? If so, how do we say what's wrong?!

This guy recently noted that I hadn't messaged him for a while and said that I must be mad at him,

He was right, I am, but I feel like telling him that I am, and why involves me being emotional etc and I understand that guys hate this.

Basically the situation (in short) is that I miss him (he's not boyfriend but I've started to have feelings) and it hurts that he doesn't miss me back (he's no said as much but I think you know when someone misses you, and I feel he's treated me badly recently) ie it's emotional stuff.

Should I play it cool, it tell him I'm annoyed and elaborate if he asks?


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06

Most Helpful Guy

  • This sounds to me like a case of him not knowing how you feel about him. You cannot be mad at him for that unless you've made it clear, through words or actions, that you have feelings for him. Your feelings are hurt that he hasn't noticed, but guys often don't pick up on the "signs" that girls think they should recognize.

    Letting him know how you feel about him is not drama. Getting annoyed at him for not realizing it or returning the feelings before he knows how you feel IS drama.

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    • Perhaps...I told him many months ago I liked him, but since then I have played it quite cool with him and I know that makes him confused. It's my way of protecting myself as I feel like he's not interested...

    • I told him I miss him. He didn't reply. I think that says it all :(

    • I'm sorry to hear it. :(

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What Guys Said 5

  • I'd say tell him what's up. Communication is so important and sometimes people end up jumping to ridiculous conclusions. When you do tell him speak your mind, but also have the respect to hear his side of the story too.

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  • He's not your boyfriend. He's not obliged to "miss you back", or to keep you happy. You "feel" he's treated you badly because you're already mad over your feelings not being returned.

    You have no right to be mad though. If you want, you can calmly push for a relationship, or just keep things as they are. But if you start making drama over something he's not required to do.. I certainly wouldn't feel like keeping you around

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    • I tried to make my story as short as possible. Bit more info: qBasically he led me in quite a lot and recently and unexpectedly started treating me differently. Sometimes he still messages me like nothing changed, and other times I feel like he's being cold and strange again. So basically I'm mad at the way he's treated me because now I've developed feelings and I miss him (he spends about if time overseas with work). I agree he doesn't have to miss me back, but he's hurt me.

  • "Hate" is incorrectly extreme. But moodiness, flightiness, drama, etc. (aka "high emotional maintenance") can turn the greatest beauty providing heavenly sex into an EX. Better a stable, predictable, patient undemanding girl of moderate beauty and sexual acumen.

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  • I think this might be the problem: link

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  • It's always better to resolve conflicts by communication.

    He might have noticed you were mad at him, but he might not be aware of the reasons.

    So yes, just start by telling him what's wrong, and see how he addresses the situation.

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