How to tell if a guy has genuine feelings for you?

i like this guy and I wouldn't have gone after him if I felt he didn't like me back. When we met at a party the first time, his actions indicated that he was attracted to me. I added him on Facebook a couple of days later and after communicating for a while we eventually met (not as a date but in a group). He asked when he could meet me again and I texted him setting a date and time. We have known each other for 6 months and I told him I have feelings for him but he likes me as a friend. I told him I can't just be his friend but said that he didn't understand why and that he still wants to communicate. Telling me that I can't just throw him away like that. then asked him if he's only spending time with me not to hurt my feelings. He said of coarse he doesn't want to hurt my feelings, he likes my personality and doesn't have a reason to why he likes spending time with me.

I have always been the one to initiate conversation, text him. He's shy and English isn't his first language. I've been helping him with his English. When we meet his body language speaks louder than his words. He's 30, I'm 22. But he doesn't live here and I we are both of different race and cultures.

Sometimes I feel he's using me, and just likes the attention to build his ego. I don't know whether to be patient for him to open up or move on and forget about him?

Is there a possibility he'll ever see me more than a friend? He'll ignore me?

I really like him, he seems to like me, but won't admit it and he's giving me mixed signals.

What should I do?


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What Guys Said 1

  • There are two ways to get a subconcious yes or no that I can think of. Usually I (man) use it on the women, but with some guile of the tongue and the right timing, a girl could easily pull it off.

    Next time your out and having a good time, make submissive eye contact, and then stare at his lips for about 1.5 seconds, and make sure he "catches" you doing it. If he responds positively to that he very likely is interested in you.

    Also, (this is my favorite) usually when I'm at a bar with a girl, and things are going well I'll try to get a game going where we pretend we are going out, (5 minute girlfriend) or that we're an old senile couple. It gives you a TON of material to joke around about and break the ice AND you can very easily "push the envelope" without the blame being laid on you (because your playing a game remember)? It's a great way to judge how far along you two are and how the other person feels about you.

    If that "game" goes well, I almost always leave with a makeout session and a phone number... Maybe more. It might be a little "wierd" for a girl to start that game, but use your common sense and give it a shot.

    Good luck!

    - soaren


What Girls Said 1

  • This sounds similar to my relationship with my ex-boyfriend. He was from another country in the US to study English and get a degree. We became friends at a party and then started meeting up regularly for language exchange. He really liked me, never actually saying so but giving off strong body language signals. When I finally got the nerve to confront him about it, he said he was scared that because of our differences in cultures, race, and language it would not work. This could be a huge reason for him being hesitant to make a move or even 'friend zoning' you even though he may really like you.


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