Feeling behind: how to stop feeling so down about it?

I've been struggling with this feeling for over a year now. This and low self esteem. I've been very depressed the past year and tried to get better on my own.

I'm 23, still living at home, and over a year ago I decided to quit the studies I had been following for 4 years, and start anew in another "field". I have never dated or had a boyfriend. And over the years, I have failed making friends and recently lost touch with the few I had made.

I can't help but feel behind when I look at where I am and where my acquaintances are. Most of them will graduate and start working this year. All of them are in long term relationship and if they don't have kids, they' have it all planned out (marriage, moving in).

I don't understand how things turned out to be this way? how these people got ahead while I got stuck behind. I feel like those people I knew have all grown up during those years while I just remained some person stuck between teenage years and adulthood. It's difficult for me to see the purpose of those past years.

I've been very depressed over the past years, and this hasn't been very helpful since the new field I chose is very selective and competitive.

As I said, I've tried to get better by myself. I try to "think positive" and stop focusing on a past of repeated failures. But it's hard.

There are days when I feel so numb about everything I just feel like doing nothing and hide in my bed. And it's very tiring because then I just feel like I have to start over the "self recovery" process if I may say so.

I would really appreciate anyone's advice, words of wisdom, to better myself and my emotional state, also if you know any good self help books and website.


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  • Don't feel bad. LOTS of people go through this, and it's actually totally normal in your 20's. People try to make it out like everyone is having so much fun and getting so successful, but it's really not true.

    In the coming years, you'll start running into old friends who've gotten divorced already, broken engagements, are temporarily unemployed, going back to school, etc etc etc

    And even some who seem to have the perfect life, but are rather unhappy.

    It's very difficult to be in a place of transition, but rest assured that things can and will eventually start to work themselves out, and a lot of it just comes with age, going through the hard times and getting to know yourself better.

    Hang in there, and know it's temporary.

  • Stop thinking and start doing

    Get out more, meet new people

    Force yourself outside of your comfort zone

    Get some hobbies and interests


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