I just want to be sure I have the right to be a little upset about this...

I just recently started seeing this guy who is in the military, we also work together and go to the same college. We've spent almost every night together since New Years Eve and I lost it to him a few nights ago. Now last night I learned he has to go to training from Jan 28th- Feb 14th, which I don't mind because it will lead to a big promotion for him. The problem is that we've been seeing each other for about a week with out telling me about it, I found out because he was talking to other people who he rarely sees about it while I happened to be standing there. Am I OK to be a little hurt that he told them directly but I had to find out in directly?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • you have a right to be upset about anything, I just don't think it's reasonable to be upset about this.

    today is January 8. so he had 20 more days to tell you that. I think you're making problem out of nothing.

    your behavior is actually very arrogant.

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    • It's not like I'm devastated I just feel like I should have been told by him not just over heard him telling it to people he barely knows.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 5

  • Ask yourself this: how do you think a guy would react if the tables were turned?

    I think you have the right to be a little upset / hurt about it. He should have told you. However, I would suggest not turning it into a big deal with him. You would likely end up regretting that in the long run.

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  • Do you really want to get involved with a guy who will get deployed all the time, leaving you alone? And yes you should be upset.

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  • Yeah I think he should have told you about it tbh

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  • I think so. Be more careful of who you trust and think more of yourself so these things happen less often.

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  • You should have been told about it. Military people are very regimented in their ways though, and they are tough to change.

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What Girls Said 4

  • As someone from a huge military background it doesn't surprise me. People in the military have training, go off to war, get transferred all the time. That's just a risk you take.

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    • I know that and I know he will be going to Afghanistan not this April but next and I won't have any contact with him for the whole year he's away. What I'm slightly hurt about is that he didn't tell me he's leaving so soon and won't talk to me. It makes me wonder why we are even trying a relationship or whatever we are.

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    • He pushed me away when I said I wanted to try the first few nights. Said I shouldn't just lose it so quickly because I was in college and almost everyone gives it out like crazy in college. He said he wants to make this a serious relationship but I don't see why if he's leaving for 3 weeks in 3 weeks and is hoping to be sent over earlier than April for his year without any outside communication.

    • Only time will tell I suppose

  • I dated a military guy and its very difficult. If you are upset now because he has duties which he has already not made you aware of, imagine when it comes time to move or deploy. You are in a new relationship and already facing the realities of a military relationship. I think with school and everything going on you need to either take it extremely slow or rethink things.

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  • Yes you have the right to be upset about it. Honestly it would hurt my feelings a little and make me think twice. Sure he still has 20 more days to tell you, but what is he waiting for you know? It just makes one question if whether or not he honestly would have gotten up a day prior and been like "oh btw..." I don't think you are overreacting. But that's just me.

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  • I would think he would've brought it up to you before. But honestly, he doesn't leave for another 3 weeks, and he'll only be gone for about 2 weeks (and you guys have only been seeing each other for about a week). So he probably didn't think about it much because it's not that big of a deal.

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