Boyfriend of 3 years breaks up with me!

My of 3 years recently just split from me after new years day. Three days after that I didn't here from. Finally I called and said what's going on. He said I don't want to be with you I can't talk to you the way I was talking we have tried. I hurt so much because he was so easily willing to give me up. He said I be friends with him. He said can we still talk.

I said "Do you ever see a future with me down the road" " Later on he said maybe two months or a year. He doesn't want to stop me from moving on. He said he doesn't have time and energy for the relationship.

We had problems before this he said iam not respectful,giving and communicating in the relationship. That for two years that is all he did was give. That before he broke up with me that I needed to reel him back in and try to get him back. He didn't feel loved.

I am hurting so much I have text him dozens of times. I said I loved him asked can we have a chance. He said maybe he doesn't know. Then I said "Can I do whatever I want" he said yes you can. You know what I mean readers.

It was weird I thought he was hiding something.

Then I had a dream he was with another girl!

I went into his email and he had a message between an escort and him not even after three days breaking up saying he is stressed can she help him out. He wanted to get laid.

I am hurting so bad its hard each day I feel I can't function at work.

I confronted him and he said that he would never be able to do something like that. I shouldn't be snooping and if he had a partner he would not of thought like that. He would 100% be a **** **** who deserves no one. He was lonely and hurting. I only want "you" the drama free, secure, giving, empathetic, and loving. ( These are texts sent that yur reading.)

He said he wants his space. I said if you love me you won't go sleep with her. He said remember how long it took for me to kiss her even if I wanted to which I don't.. He said same to you girlfriend no dating websites. Making a joke. I said OK buddy then he said don't like you calling me that we are suppose to be boyfriend LOL. I said oh wait we are broken up lol.

He said you know what I mean trying to add lightness to heavy feelings . Its a saying don't take it wrong. I said well buddy is a saying don't take it wrong.

I wasn't just coming from you I don't like it because I don't want to be your buddy. I want more, OK better? I am in good mood just trying to be funny.

I responded with not texting back and then he said " I love you".

I do really love him I know this sounds **** up but I want him back. I don't want him to sleep with that escort. What do I do? please please help!

Updates:
Anonymous User I never took him for granted I loved him so much words cannot explain I really confided in him he was my best friend and lover I feel lost. I hurt so much and find it hard to function because of this. I have become very depressed. He moved out on me in October to live close to work and now lives with his party animal friends! He is doing mushrooms and smoking dope! Something he did not do while living with me. I paid half the bills living with him.
Making a man feel loved and giving to a relationship!


Compliments, loving him, cooking, showing affection, sweet texts, doing little things being there for him all the time.


I have to ask what could I do to make a man feel loved or giving more in a relationship?

I don't know that is the answer I got that I didn't give and make him feel loved!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • He said all he did was give. Were you not very good at paying half the bills, picking him up for rides or otherwise sharing the work of a relationship? He sounds like he thinks you took him for granted. Did you? Honestly?

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    • He took me for granted! He said to me I can be an a**hole and you will still be there for me. I paid for half of the bills rent, groceries and electrical.

      He didn't feel loved and wanted and that I need to learn what I need to do to make a man feel that way. I would tell him I love him compliment him. I would make time for him call him send him texts. Bought him a nice Christmas gift!

      I wanted engagement and what did he do rip the paper up in my face because he said I was talking about it.

    • Sounds like you were moving faster than he was comfortable with?

    • Update: I'm not saying it was your fault, I'm just wondering why he would say that? Just wondering what is real, deep and truly lasting reason why he called it quits, that's all?

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • guys are much more different than girls when it comes to love. that said they obviously like to be loved too.

    hugging him from behind, speaking your thoughts, telling him he's sexy when he does something, or manly and attractive when you see it, they love that. they want to know that they are loved and cared about too. cuddling kissing and doing small things for him like cooking meals, doing the laundry, cleaning up the house before he comes home from work, and just watching TV together are those little things that you gotta enjoy in life.

    he probably feels that you aren't the same as you used to be when you guys first started dating, and that's OK. everyone changes over time, because change is nature. but if you change from yourself too much and forget who you really are inside, the you that you were before you met him, then he may feel like he lost you.

    "We had problems before this he said iam not respectful,giving and communicating in the relationship. That for two years that is all he did was give. That before he broke up with me that I needed to reel him back in and try to get him back. He didn't feel loved."

    he obviously just told you the way he truly feels. are you giving him space when he needs it? do you tell him that he can't be friends with certain people? are you constantly jealous when he glances at anyone else besides you? are you overbearing and clingy, or too distant and unaffectionate? are you walking by him like he's a piece of furniture, like he's not even there? do you arrange special dates, or surprise visits? buy him a meal or two just because you want to? do you get him gifts for anniversaries and holidays, that aren't from dollar general? or 'just cuz' gifts in between? would you check up on him if he was sick? hug him and rub his back when he's stressed out, whispering that everything is gonna be ok? have you ever tried to make him meals, cards, letters, crafts or cute things to make his day brighter, time and time again? say what was on your mind, DIRECTLY and not dancing around the issue? guys are more straight forward than us, they can't read into the way we try to hint things. if you think he's sexy, tell him that with all your heart. if he's being a slob, tell him that but gently. at least he will know and can work on it.

    think of all the things he has done for you and see if the things you have done for him are at the same magnitude.

    i think he feels that you are not interested in him anymore, and that you don't care for him enough. and he feels like giving up because you don't notice what he does for you or you take it for granted.

    think about all that and I hope I helped you get a new perspective on why he is like that.

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    • I lived with him for one year and he moved out on me to live with his friends. I cooked, cleaned was constantly there for him. Even when he was down and out at a time in his life I rushed to his side. When told him that how quickly he forgot and say that doesn't matter.

      I have surprised him, told him I love him all the time, said he was sexy made compliments. Send him texts love you have a good day.

      I wanted engagent and commitment with him he went and put money down on a ring had the paper.

  • Please move on. This guy is a walking dieseas if he is willing to sleep with an escort. Oh and you might want to get tested for whatever is considered a STD...leave that thing alone..Think about an STD that no money can cure and that will probably get you over him.

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