Is it OK for me to say I want monogamy?

I have just started seeing a guy I have been chatting to for nearly 6mths and he is now talking about having an open relationship, I said, it would really bother me and I didn't want a guy who was screwing someone else. Was that the right thing to say? Should I expect monogamy when I was not aware it would be anything else? I am not intending to contact him I will leave him alone. Is that the right thing to do?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Of course it's the right thing to do. Why is it OK for him to say he wants an open relationship, and not OK for you to say you want an exclusive relationship? You are entitled to your feelings and preferences. Open relationships are not for me, so if a man suggested we have one, I would express my feelings and end things most likely.

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What Guys Said 2

  • If you want monogamy, say so. Guys who want monogamy generally like women who prefer monogamy.

    If he wants an open relationship, he'll likely move on.

    And that's as it should be.

    You shouldn't 'expect' anything, you should know what you're looking for, and look for people who are interested in the same.

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    • I like the way you said you shouldn't expect but know what you're looking for.

  • Yeah. Voice your expectations. Work it out.

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What Girls Said 5

  • Why shouldn't it be the right thing to say? You're in that relationship too, you have your say about it too. His opinion doesn't matter any more or less than yours. If you want monogamy, you tell him. If he doesn't want it or you can't figure a way out to make it work so both of you will be pleased, then that's that.

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  • Be straight forward with what you want. If an open relationship is not want you want be clear and to the point. Some people can do open relationships, I know I can't but it doesn't mean I'm right they're wrong. You expected monogamy because that's what a relationship is for you,nothing wrong with that

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  • I would have been right there with you it's a good thing that you stood your ground on that one because I've known a few girls that have said they were okay with it, but really weren't and ended up an emotional wreck over it. Good decision on your part. Besides, who wants to be the back-up girl anyway.

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  • if you ant monogamy, then saying you want monogamy is the precise thing to do. just as he said he waned an open relationship. you say what it is you want. it has nothing to do with expecting something from someone else. its what you expect of yourself.

    if what you each want, is completely incompatible with your expectations of yourself. then you move on.

    but never pretend to be someone you're not. it will end bitterly. rather than respectfully.

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  • of course it was the right thing to do. It saves the headache of not being on the same page as him down the road. How did he respond when you told him that? Either way, you should get the type of relationship you want. & so should he. If he's not ready for just one woman like your ready for just one man, you gotta decide the next step. Don't sell yourself short tho

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