Is this hitting on a girl?

Is hitting on a girl basically just showing interest in her and asking about her? I'll use this example. Say I'm at a waterfront restaurant where you can see boats going by. So say I see the waitress and I say "wow you have a really cool job, you get to see all the boats go by and all this nice scenery, what made you decide to do waitressing?" OK is this hitting on a girl or at least showing her that I'm interested in her or is she just going to think that I'm just making normal conversation? Thanks.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Honestly, that isn't really what I would call hitting on someone.

    When you hit on someone, you make the comments personal; something that relates to a trait of theirs, whether it be physical or personal. For example, if you're sitting at a bar, and across the bar you see a woman, sitting with a couple of her friends, and you find her attractive, you might start to notice things about her that you like specifically. Say, for instance, she has an amazing smile; you might go up to her and open with "Sorry to intrude, but I couldn't help notice from across the bar what a beautiful smile you have." More than likely she'll thank you for the compliment, and that's your chance to tell her what your name is, get her name, and start to open a conversation with her.

    The comment that you have written in your post sounds much more like general, polite conversation than anything else, and definitely won't let her know that you're interested in her unless you follow it up with actual come-ons like complimenting her as I've mentioned above. Don't get me wrong, that kind of general conversation is important when you first start talking to someone that you're interested in, but it's not, by definition, a way of hitting on someone.

    I hope this has been of some help! :D

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    • Ok so the only thing that I'm missing is just complimenting her somehow whether it's her eyes or smile or whatever. Thanks so much that was really helpful!

    • Well, hold on a second...

      The compliment should be GENUINE! What I mean by that, is don't come up with any old compliment; come up with one that you actually MEAN! So, if you really do like her smile, her eyes, her dimples, her hair, her kind personality, etc. then tell her, but if you're just thinking of a random compliment just for the sake of talking to her, it'll come off as fake, because it will be.

      In short, make sure that you say what you mean, and mean what you say. :)

    • Yeah I know. I've never given a girl a compliment I don't believe in. Cause you're right it just doesn't come out right.

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What Girls Said 2

  • She's going to think you're just chitchatting with her.

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    • So how could I switch it around to make it so she knows I'm hitting on her? Do I need to compliment her and then be like hey it was nice talking with you how about I get your phone number and I'll give you a call later on. Is that better? I'm really not good with flirting/hitting on girls. lol

    • You have to make the comments more personal, like about her eyes and such.

  • Normal conversation.

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What Guys Said 6

  • Whatever you do/say in order to find out about a girl directly or covertly is hitting on. Why? Because it conveys the message that you're interested. If it's covert, she may not realized she's been hit on. So, whatever you do to show interest is hitting on.

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    • Ok I see. I guess I'll be sure to throw in a compliment about her looks just so she doesn't have any doubts about whether or not I was hitting on her.

  • because I'm a good looking and friendly guy, every time I talk to a girl people mistake it for flirting

    but flirting isn't JUST chit chatting, its talking to a girl with sexual energy. people feel energy.

    the biggest mistake guys make when "flirting" with a girl is being too friendly. that's how you end up in the friend zone. you can be charming but just make sure that sexual energy is there AND MAKE SURE YOUR INTENTIONS ARE CLEAR. MAKE SURE YOU INDIRECTLY LET HER KNOW THAT YOU ARENT JUST TRYING TO BE HER FRIEND!

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    • Any good lines on what to say? Or is it mainly about the physical part?

      Like maybe doing normal chit-chat but touching her arm or standing close to her or looking in her eyes for longer then normal?

  • Showing that you're interested in her is hitting on her unless there's no chance you want to get with her.

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    • ok so asking questions about her is considered hitting on her.

    • Depends on what each of you think about the questions. If you want to be crystal clear, throw in a "by the way, I'm totally hitting on you. Is it working?"

  • It depends on the person interpreting what you say. These days, anything could be taken as flirting, dude!

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  • She may think you are striking up a conversation (an awful one at that)

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  • I've tried that same approach before. The best I've ever gotten from it was a decent conversation with a random stranger. It hasn't led to phone numbers or potential dates. So, to answer your question- I think most women would consider this making normal, friendly conversation.

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