I'm pretty to girls but ugly to guys?

Girls will tell me how pretty I am. I know they're not saying it to be nice, well maybe, some of them, but I've had strangers stop me and tell me how beautiful they think I am.

However, guys don't even say I'm pretty, cute, or even okay looking or average just to be nice. I'm also in my mid 20's and have never had a boyfriend or pursued by a guy.

I don't understand how this works.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • OMG! You're Taylor Swift!

    I'm sorry, I just had to.

    That's because what (heterosexual) girls think is attractive in terms of female beauty is shaped by mass media, the fashion industry, the music industry, and the cosmetics industry. What men find attractive is neither shaped by those things, nor influenced the slightest by those things or female opinions on female beauty (a.k.a. the View). What men find attractive in women is based on their hormones, their first sexual arousal experience as a boy, and the manifestation of any fetishes over their life as a result of their unique life experiences. (i.e., men who were largely unemployed and performed poorly in school feel like failures as men, in order to compensate, they develop the desire to feel dominant and aggressive, they experience pleasure from overpowering a woman; conversely, men who are powerful and dominant in their everyday lives and in society are into weird and kinky sh*t like boot-licking, bondage, female domination, etc.)

    Those are just examples. An other good example is how which Disney movie little boys preferred, and more importantly, WHY. (i.e., boys who prefer the Little Mermaid because they liked the mermaid are more likely to not know why they are so attracted to women with red hair; boys who preferred Beauty and the Beast because they liked the relationship aspect of the movie are more likely to feel pleasure in taking care of their partner and protecting her, but also seek out hyper-feminine and delicate women in order to better fulfill that fantasy).

    Anyway...

    The most important thing is that there's no such thing as "what guys like." Men are people, and people are individuals, and individuals are unique. Just like no two women prefer the same thing in a man, or prefer to get touched the same way in their no-no zone ... well, men are the same way.

    At the end of the day, you're not running for office. You're not looking to adopt a marketing strategy that will make you appeal to the masses of men. Just be yourself. There's a guy out there who has a deep unmet desire to find a woman just like you. If you act like someone else, he may never see you for who you really are.

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    • The idea that women are the only ones susceptible to media influence is bull. What men find beautiful is based on society and culture as well.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 5

  • There are many possible reasons that guys haven't pursued you or showered you with compliments, however, if women will compliment your looks, I bet you really are pretty. Remember that guys, especially at your age and younger, are still pretty clueless, generally, about how to talk to women. (And I'd include myself, absolutely, at that age.) I bet they'll come around...

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  • Post a pic. One of how you normally dress, not a super revealing one.

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  • It's just that not everybody has the same taste, I bet some guy out there thinks your gorgeous.

    Sometimes men don't say things like that to women because they automatically assume that we are flirting with them, even though it's just a sincere compliment.

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  • I was just talking to a girl yesterday about this. A boy came up to her and said "you're beautiful" and she said "I know". He then proceeded to disparage her remark by attacking her, verbally.

    Men really don't like to tell you what you already know, for cases such as this

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  • Men and women have very different ideas of beauty.

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What Girls Said 5

  • Guys are a lot less verbal with their compliments. But watch their body language, their eyes. I thought the same thing too, until it was pointed out to me that I get checked out a lot. Guys aren't going to respond to what they find attractive like they do in the movies, they aren't going to pull you aside and compliment your physical attractiveness. Most of them are too wary to try, because while girls moan and complain about how they never get approached by guys, most of us would probably turn around and complain about the 'creep' who just tried to do what we so often say we want. In my personal experience, a lot of guys are as unconfident about themselves and how girls will react to them trying to pursue us, as girls are about guys. Even the really popular, outgoing ones.

    So, instead of waiting for someone to validate your appearance, be confident in who YOU are. Especially if women are complimenting you already, because we're much harsher on each other, than guys.

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  • Guys aren't as comment/compliment friendly as girls.

    Also keep in mind that it's a bit more socially acceptable for women to compliment other women but not so much for guys. Often times they're labeled creeps for giving a genuine compliment. That and women always complain about being objectified for their appearance and never being appreciated/complimented on their bombdotcom personality

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  • Could be to do with your style? There are some outfits that girls find cute that guys don't get at all. Hairstyles too, most guys don't really get those pixie type haircuts when lots of girls think they're chic.

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  • maybe they're saying it to humor you...

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    • Why would numerous strangers do that? They have no reason to humor me...being strangers and all.

  • guys don't comment as much and there is such thing as girl beauty and guy beauty. girls often think the unique looking girl is beautiful etc but they are quick to label girls that a lot of guys like as skanky, fat, etc (Example guys like buxom girls with curves think a kim k type body but a lot of girls would label this type as skanky or fat..but at the end of the day who is getting the man?)

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