How to overcome a bad experience that you can't make yourself forget?

It's been 3 years since I was used by a player, but since he was my first, I still can't forget about it. I take full responsibility for the part I took in that situation. I know that the logical solution to this would be to force myself to stop thinking about it through new hobbies and friends, but even now with different jobs, new acquaintances, a couple new hobbies I still can't forgive myself. I just feel really stupid and wish that I could go back in time and not have done that. I am also very lonely and feel like a loser.

I also think that this experience has completely changed my view of men, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. I think that most of them are pigs and relatively useless to me except if in the future I ever want to have sex again.

Updates:
Thanks a lot!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It isn't your fault because you honestly never know what another person will do. The guy obviously didn't deserve you but it doesn't mean somebody else does. There are a lot of terrible "men" out there that are just "boys" running around messing with peoples lives. Seeing men as useless to you for anything other than sex is only going to provide you with more pain and you will definitely end up a bitter old woman with that attitude. You need to admit to yourself that you had ONE bad experience but there are literally billions of potential GREAT experiences and you really may only need to find one to be happy for the rest of your life. Try looking at people you don't think you would usually date because sometimes a really great guy is standing right under your nose and you don't even know it.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Prophecy was being short, but he's right - don't ruin yourself because of one stupid guy or moment. Poo happens, we live dozens of years so we can correct, change, and adapt. Move past it.

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  • talking about throwing baby out with the bathwater.

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  • no worries, we aren't all scum :)

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