What to do if you hate a gift from your boyfriend?

My boyfriend of a year put together a basket of food items that I like for Valentine's day and wrapped it up like a gift basket. Its nice that he did something but I can't help but feel like it means he doesn't care. I mean one of the items was tuna fish. It just makes me feel like there is no romance in our relationship. He seemed really excited thinking its a good gift so I told him it was good. Its not the money I just wanted a gift that meant something. Am I overreacting? Should I tell him I don't like it and feel hurt?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • To be brutally honest I think your kind of overreacting a bit.

    I mean he actually put a bit of thought into your gift. Instead of like not thinking about it at all and just giving you a typical/customary gift such as flowers/chocolate/cards (not that there's anything wrong with that).

    If that doesn't show you that he cares then... I guess we have different views about what "caring" is.

    It's fine to not like his gift but I honestly wouldn't tell him because he'll most likely be hurt by it considering he did put some thought into it and he did seem to be excited thinking it was a good gift.

    Basically, you'd be kind of like 'punishing' him for trying to do something thoughtful (imo) if that makes sense.

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What Guys Said 8

  • Sounds to me that you are extremely materialistic and actually don't care about your boyfriend. He got you something that you like and that you will use in a practical manner, eating. Getting you flowers and chocolates is mundane and involves no creativity or thought. What he did was showed that he cared. If your idea of "caring" is buying you something shiny then you don't want him to care, you don't want romance. Romance isn't buying jewelry or flowers on a day that society says you have to do that, it is doing it on a random day. That is what says "I care", what also says that is actually putting thought into a present and not just slapping out what is "normal".

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  • If we were living in primitive times, you would have very much appreciated him hunting and gathering for you, those instincts are still intact. You've been brainwashed by modern society, do yourself a favor and break your programming by getting in touch with your own feminine instincts.

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  • If he didn't care or didn't have you in mind, he wouldn't have given you anything. The guy was probably thinking, I'm going to give her something SHE likes, NOT what I like. I mean, what he should have done was give you that basket, and maybe make you a dinner out of it...but at least the dude tried. Don't be so rough on him.

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  • If he is a great guy to you in every other way, then forget about the whole thing. We men are sometimes stupid when it comes to giving women a gift they will like. Roses might seem too needy. Chocolates might insult you because you think you will get fat. Practical gifts like gift cards might seem too plain.

    Maybe your guy panicked and got you something he thought wouldn't immediately insult you?

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  • Can I ask what a romantic gift would have been to you?

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  • so let me get this straight you're upset that he gave you "food items that you like" while not main stream like the same old chocolate/ teddy/ flowers he was thoughtful in what he gave you and yet it meant nothing to you and because he didn't get you something else you consider him to be not romantic. I find you to be ungrateful/ unappreciative and not overreacting considering he actually put some thought into what he got you instead of just going to walmart and picking up the regular mainstream stuff that they keep right there by the registers (aka revolving door Valentine's day sales) so no thought is put/needed into the gift...end rant

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  • Damn, should've gone with the diamond bracelet...

    lol who gets a fruit basket type thing for their girlfriend on valentines...

    maybe some choc, roses, victoria's secret lingerie, giant teddy bear, diamonds...tuna? wtf?

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  • Remind me that if I ever meet you in real life...not to ask you out, k?

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What Girls Said 5

  • You did get a gift that meant something.The guy did something original, he put thought into it. Anyone can buy flowers or chocolate or any other generic gift every other woman on the planet is getting but to pick out specific items that you like then that guy has to know you and more importantly have taken notice or what you say and do.Its a lot more romantic than the general V.Day gifts.

    My s.o and I have never "celebrated" V.Day but that doesn't mean we're not romantic and don't mean anything to each other. Look at how he treats you on any other day when he's not forced to by a ridiculous holiday.

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  • I can imagine how you would feel in that situation, but I think you should give him a break. Maybe drop hints for the next time you get a gift (like your birthday or whatever's coming up). If I were in your shoes I think I would make a general comment about how I'd like more romance, rather than directly criticizing the gift.

    While the gift wasn't romantic, I think it's really sweet that he went out and got a bunch of things you like. He might have thought it was a more practical gift than something like flowers, which just look nice for a few days and then die. I always like to give gifts that a person will use, so that they'll think of me when they use them. Maybe he was thinking along those lines, but I agree that it wasn't exactly a gift appropriate for Valentine's Day!

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  • Hahahaha on my sister's 3rd year anniversary one of the gift her boyfriend got her was an electronic tooth brush because she's always so busy so he thought it would make her morning routine go faster by a few seconds. lol I guess it sweet...but it isn't romantic. A lot of guys don't understand romance. I planned a really sweet romantic date and it made my boyfriend tear up. I asked him later if his heart was pounding faster and when he said ya, I told him then it was romantic.It was like a light bulb went off in his head and ever since then has been doing better on romantic gifts.

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  • i think it was a nice present. he probably put thought into it trying to figure out foods you like. I'd like. it. he may have been thinkiing he wanted to do something different from the standard stuff. if you want to get more romantic stuff you need to tell him so before hand in a nice way. like hey hun I'd love to get some flowers for whatever day etc... I didn't get a VD present at all and it doesn't bother me

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  • Was it stuff you only mentioned once and you can say at least he was thoughtful?

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