My parents want a divorce. They say they can't because theyd have no place to go...

and money is too tight. my dad keeps coming to me (his daughter) saying he's not doing well, saying he doesn't know what to do, saying my mom hates him, he needs to talk to someone, etc...

and I don't know what to say! help what do I say to him.


0|0
63

Most Helpful Guy

  • Sit your parents down like they are little children and make them talk to each other. But set ground rules. No yelling not accusations. because no matter how well you know a person you will never know what they are thinking. Just put out how they feel.

    Most divorces are due to lack of communication. tell the two children to act their age. if every conversation starts with an accusation or a condescending tone, Communication will never be had. They will just resort to information mining.(meaning just collecting information to throw in each others face).

    You might have to mediate. And aggressively enforce the ground rules. And you might have to try to get the people to talk to you one on one to find out their issues and why they think their relationship is not worth trying to save. But be warned. It might get into some stuff no kid ever has to hear or know about their parents. It may scar you for life... But if you want to help your parents. the psychologist visits later may just be worth it! good luck lol.

    0|0
    0|0

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Just tell him that you will always be there for him regardless of what happens, Remind him that you are his daughter and that he is the most important guy in your life. In a situation like this no one wants answers. you just want someone to show you that they care. Someone to listen. It's times like this love has to conquer.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Also This may be difficult for you too, but try not to be a "middle man". Just be you and as much as you parents have taken care of you growing up every now and again you need to be there for one or both of them

  • Well I can imagine the situation, you feel like a helpless daughter, who just not know how to stop the divorce thing to happen, but answer is times only the solution.

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 6

  • Tell him that you understand this is difficult for him, but he needs to talk to another adult and it's unfair of him to put you in the middle of this. Seeing a therapist is preferable. On his own, and maybe even a couples' counselor for him and your mom (even if they don't intend to get back together, it might be helpful in terms of being able to live together peacefully until they can afford to get a divorce). If therapy isn't a possibility, he should at least talk to a friend, parent, sibling, or someone like that. Not you.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It's the same with my parents more or less. My mom can't leave my dad as then there would be complications. I've learned that there's nothing that can be done. They themselves need to sort these things out. You can listen and tell them you'll always care about them but ultimately nothing will change the circumstances unless they themselves really want to. Just try to listen and comfort but you're not a super human that can change the situation.

    0|0
    0|0
  • He needs to talk to his friends, not his kids. It's not fair for you to be in the middle

    1|0
    0|0
  • This happened to me recently with my parents, they are okay now. My mom would come and complain about dad, sometimes when I was out with friends she would call me crying and it was awful. You should just let them figure things out themselves, trust me. I know it will be hard to not support your parents like you wish too but it will be worse if you let them tell you all of their problems, because sooner or later it will consume all the space in your head and you won´t have the same idea about who your parents are as a person because one of them will surely say something that you, as their kid should not know. It will also make you really anxious, I lost a lot of weight because of this and it was a bad time for me. They need to be strong and figure things out.

    0|0
    0|0
  • divorce is very expensive

    0|0
    0|0
  • Does he have any brothers sisters, family, close friends, some like that to talk to? While it's good the two of you can talk, it is unfair of him to put that pressure on you, given the circumstances. You are in the middle and you don't get good advice from someone who is 'inside the situation'. To really get a non partial opinion, good advice, he should speak to a peer, and it should be someone who is a neutral person btwn him and his wife. If he just needs a shoulder to lean on, call a friend. That's too much pressure for you, unfair.

    0|0
    0|0
Loading... ;