Why do girls freak out when they hear the word pre-nup

Last night a few of my friends were over and we're gossiping about whose pregnant, whose in jail, whose addicted to something, and whose engaged/married. We stayed on the marriage topic for a little longer than the others. Well I threw in the question "would you ever get a pre-nup?"

Biggest mistake ever, I felt like I had dropped the "C" word or something. Four girls all talking at once about how pre-nups are f-ed up. Never giving a exact reason on why its messed up and even when I gave my view on it, they still didn't want to hear it or even take it into consideration. When I mentioned having separate bank accounts, I got the death stare. So what's the deal why are girls threaten by the word pre-nup or hell just separate/multiple bank account?

If your wondering my view on the subject is:

Its a back up plan, a safety net. Almost like car insurance you never plan on getting into a accident but you pay for insurance just in case. So it's kind of the same idea you don't plan on getting divorced but there's a chance it could happen. So why not have a safety net in place? Secondly, Regardless of how much you think you know your other half. You'll never know how financially fit they are. As in, lets say a couple of years into the marriage(5-10yrs) you guys are doing well. Both with good jobs, the bills are taken care, you even have money set aside for emergencies and/or vacations. Even on a personal level your doing good you have a little set aside, you wanna go get a new car. Now in most states around the country when you get married you have to put your spouses info on to any loans/credit you apply for. So here you are at the dealership, dealer runs your information, everything checks out you credit score looks great the interest rate is low, perfect right? Nope, the dealer just ran your spouses information and it looks as if he or she decided not to pay their student loans and got a few hospital bills they also decided not to pay, leaving their credit score pretty low. So now the interest rates go up which makes the payments higher, therefore making unaffordable for you to purchase. Now if you would have had a pre-nup you wouldn't need their information added to the loan you were trying to get. Apparently this all sounded to silly to the ladies.


Most Helpful Guy

  • A lot of woman want to enter into marriage for different reasons even though they say it's for love etc. I've met girls overtime and found out early on before getting involved with them about how they have maxed out credit cards. I even know of people who have ended up marrying people who are not in good financial situations. A good guy who manages himself well wouldn't want his credit score ruined and who could blame him?

    Thing is a lot of girls out there want the benefits of a relationship without the responsibilities. This is not all girls, but a huge amount of them do. Why else would they put things in their online dating profiles about refusing to date anyone who doesn't have their own place, doesn't have a bachelor's degree or higher, and so on? Materialism.


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What Girls Said 3

  • I wouldn't mind getting one because I wouldn't take it personnally. It's just the world we live in. I'm very traditional and I don't believe in divorce. I think that if two people got married in the first place, then they can solve every problem they encounter (except adultery) for the rest of their lives.

    But still, I know that not everybody think and behave the same way. And for me, women who refuse to get a pre-nup or argue about it already know that they're going to leave some day and refuse to be involve in a marriage which would give them nothing in the end.

    These women see marriage as an enterprise that hires them. Pre-nup would mean this enterprise can fires them without any compensation. That's greedy and materialistic.

    • Sorry for the late response but I definitely like this answer I mean if your going into the marriage 100% committed then it shouldn't matter if there's a pre-nup in place or not

  • When I marry, I intend to stay married to him until the day I die. If he up and asks for a prenup then it's like he's not 100% committed or sure of the relationship and that'd just shatter me. I have no intention of leaving so why even consider that option?

    Marriages are supposed to be forever. Prenups mean that he (or she) thinks that the marriage has potential to fail...in which case, why the hell get married in the first place?

  • While a pre-nup does feel fair, it's assumes the marriage will fail even before it starts.

    If people (as a whole) took marriage seriously, they wouldn't feel the need to protect themselves from their own spouses. People don't even trust the person they marry - that's crazy. And what's even more sad is that a lot of the time, they can't be trusted.

    But like I said, if people took marriage seriously, the marriage AND divorce rate would drastically decrease.


What Guys Said 4

  • here's the thing - if she freaks out, says no or whatever, there are 2 options and 2 options only;

    1. she's too stupid to understand that prenup has nothing to do with trust/love/commitment/seriousness

    2. she's money hungry/wants safety by milking you like a cow

    there is no 3rd option.

    in any case, "if she freaks out, says no or whatever" she's not a marriage material.

  • Because for many girls when you ask for a pre-nup they feel you are not fully committed and have a foot in the door just in case. They feel it's a commitment issue.

  • It's because marriage is a big deal for women.

  • The divorce laws in the country are currently designed in such a way that the woman has some financial security in case her man wakes up one day and decides he don't love her no more.

    Pre-nups level the playing field.

    Divorce is the nuclear option - in a fight, or anything remotely like a crisis, the wife always has that nuclear option. Divorce, and I'll take HALF your sh*t, and you'll never see your kids!

    A guy who has that sword of Damocles hanging over his head, is going to put up with a LOT more sh*t from his wife, than the guy who has a signed pre-nup.

    In the mind of most women, that nuclear option is necessary, because most men don't value marriage the way a woman does, and most men will statistically cheat if they can get away with it. They use the nuclear option as a leash, a choke chain, to keep their man in line. (Oh, and they'd never admit to this, and certainly never admit to abusing it)

    Pre-nups take the nukes out of the game completely. A woman who has signed a pre-nup will never get away with the sort of sh*t a regular wife routinely gets away with.


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