Could she be mad at me, or what?

This girl I've been best friends with for about 2 years now has been acting abnormally stand offish and rude (to put it delicately). Just a couple weeks ago she was acting friendlier than usual too. We were hanging out a lot, she was cooking for me, and even being a lot more flirty than usual (very cuddly too). All of which is new behavior.

Then it just sort of stopped. I had asked her about the shift and she just brushed it off and said she hasn't acted different. Now she's "busy" a lot and hardly even texts me back. Last time we hung out she was texting some guy the whole time but when I brought up a gol I've been talking to she seemed to get even more irritated. The only time she acted happy was when we hugged goodbye and I said I would call her that night (which she missed and never returned).

I know she doesn't like that I'm friends with her ex but that's nothing new. I brought up that I might be moving out of state for a year or two and she protested my reasoning but I don't see why she would be mad at me for that.

I've been tempted just to return the treatment but she has literally been my best friend, not just some random girl I met at a bar. Doing so seems like it would just be childish. So what could it be?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Cooking for you and acting cuddly where she had never done so before, to the trained eye, were signs that she was making signals at you.

    Signals which you, as a guy, were utterly unable to see.

    She thought she was being obvious - and your lack of a response (you didn't ask her out or whatever) made her feel awkward, embarassed, and yes a little annoyed.

    When you then claimed ignorance about the whole thing and asked why she had been different, rather than come clean, she chose to lie about it. Girls are weird like that.

    This is common enough when girls like a guy - if they make what they think is a clear sign and the guy doesn't respond, they feel rejected. They never think it's their fault for not being clear.

    To sum up : I think she developed feelings for you, and I think she thinks she expressed them clearly and since you didn't feel the same way, she's now hurt and rejected. Texting some other guy the whole time might be a ploy to make you jealous. Who knows. She does sound typically ill-informed like most girls.

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    • Makes sense but I went in for a kiss when this first started and she turned it down. It was just one of those "never happened" moments. Unless she's really just that flaky.

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    • I assume from that, that you want to date this girl.

      Well, the first thing would be to start flirting with her big time. But that's not going to be enough because her first response will be disgust ("Why do guys always do this? Play hot and cold? He's only interested because I'm not interested. If I respond, he'll back off again")

      No matter how negative she is towards you, laugh it off as if you know that deep down she really does like you.

      After a couple of weeks, pull her aside some time -

    • and tell her that you're not much of a cook, but you want to repay the favour for the times she cooked for you. So you want to take her out for a nice meal.

      Or if you are a good cook, so much the better. Repay her by cooking for her. Lay it on thick.

      And be prepared to be rejected twice. The first time, because she'll do it reflexively. The second time, because she'll be testing your sincerity. Leave a very small gap of time between the first and second attempts though. Days only.

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What Girls Said 2

  • she probably is having problems with this other guy that's why she is in your face one second, then the next pushing you away she probably really like this other guy and when things don't go right...she flirts with you to make herself feel better. You would be surprised how girls really are...I mean I'm not that type but for an example my boyfriend was talking to this girl before he met me. And he had hung out with her everyday for a month she would cook him breakfast every morning then he gets on Facebook and she had posted a video of her giving some other guy a lap dance in her living room. food for thought

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  • Either she is having issues with that guy like dollme777 said, which is highly possible, or maybe she had developed feelings for you and when it didn't seem to go anywhere she got upset...and maybe tried to make you jealous by texting the other guy the whole time she was with you? It's hard to say. Just try to talk to her about it again.

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What Guys Said 3

  • You have a scorned woman on your hands. Well, not really scorned, but it does sound like you rejected her advances. If a woman comes on to you, and you reject her advances, you're dead to her.

    All of a sudden, she was extra nice, cooked for you, was flirty, cuddly. Did you make a move on any of that, or did you just take it as strange behavior?

    She's probably thinking, "He's leaving the state. He didn't respond to any of my blatant advances. So screw him." Women do that. My friend is married to a woman who liked me, and I totally dissed her. Even though she's married she still hates my guts.

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  • sounds to me like she's cheating and she is guilty.

    Guilt can show itself in various ways but most of it means irrational and unpredictable behavior. Being nice, cooking, doing extra favors are signs she is trying to make herself feel better about her guilty conscious. Being angry, irrational, distant, etc are signs she is angry about feeling guilty and taking it out on you.

    Factor in the texting other guys and the being "busy"...it sounds to me like she is cheating.

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    • She can't cheat on me if we're not an item

    • Well I don' t know then...maybe she likes you and is trying to show you (by being nice at times) and is maybe frustrated that you don't notice (being rude or distant at other times).

  • Something must be going on in her life which is unrelated to you which is taking all her attention and time.

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