Does amount of time OR quality in a relationship matter more?

My close male friend got out of a 6 year relationship (3 years lived together). He was alright after 2 weeks.

A month later he dated a new girl he (and I) have known for about 3 years as an VERY DISTANT acquaintance.

He dated the new girl for only 5 weeks.

5 months later he is still not over the new girl he dated for 5 weeks. He is in bad shape.

Which has more impact/more difficult to get over?

  • A longer (years) relationship has more impact and is more difficult to get over.
    Vote A
  • A quality and personally fulfilling relationship (regardless of the amount of time together (just weeks/months)) has more impact and is more difficult to get over.
    Vote B
  • See answer
    Vote C
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

0|0
136

Most Helpful Girl

  • I would say quality for sure. I dated a guy for 9 months and was devastated when he dumped me.

    I dated my ex boyfriend for just over 2 years, and when we broke up, I am not devastated. I'm doing just fine. He wasn't the best boyfriend.

    The guy I dated for 9 months was very loving and affectionate. My most recent guy, not so much. So I think that's why.

    2|0
    0|0

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 6

  • A longer relationship would probably have been a nice clean split that may have even been mutual so even though it was a really long time, the feelings have subsided or dulled and it wouldn't have too much of a negative impact.

    A short relationship, say 3-5ish months, would have a much bigger impact because at that point you've talked with the person and have barely scratched the surface on what their true desires and ambitions are. You'll know quite a bit about them, but not enough to be satisfied when they just get up and leave you hanging.

    My only experience is with the 2nd part, as the girl I dated for 7 months was more or less an unfinished story as people call it. It's been about 5 months since and although we are on somewhat speaking terms, it wasn't that way for the 5 months and those were really hard times.

    1|0
    0|0
  • if they're really a quality person the amount of time would be long... anyone who thinks they're with a quality person when they only know them for a few weeks is blinded by likely lust/emotions to really see a person and the reason it only lasted so short was because they weren't truly so high quality to get over whatever ended it so soon (be it distance like one was just visiting the area or some issue or something).

    1|0
    0|0
  • i personally don't believe in love but if a relationship is great I think about it more than a sh*tty one... after it ends of course

    0|0
    0|0
  • Both equally

    2|0
    0|0
  • The length does not mean it was a quality relationship. I was with a girl for 5 years once & when we split I was looking for someone new a week later. Whereas I had a harder time getting past a girl I wasn't even in a RL with at all.

    Another girl I was with for a year & even though I left her, she is still on my mind all the time.

    3|1
    0|0
  • It really depends upon the relationship that a person enters into.

    As for the guy, it seems that he really enjoyed being with the girl and doesn't see a future without her so even if they spent little time together, it still impacted his life as a whole.

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 12

  • I think how much you will miss someone really depends on the quality of your relationship and the type of relationship you had. A long relationship can have a big impact, but length in itself is not going to make it more impactful than a better/more intense relationship that was shorter.

    2|0
    0|0
  • I chose B. I've been in love once, and I only dated him for three months before we broke up. It didn't make my feelings any less real.

    People might say that it must not have been real love because no one can fall in love that fast. I assure you I loved that boy. Until he happened, I didn't believe that teenagers could know real love at all (I was 18), let alone so fast. Maybe I fell for him so quickly because we had been friends for a while before we started dating. I don't know.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I think this has nothing to do with the quality of time he spent with the second girl compared to the first. I think she was a rebound and now he's devastated because both break ups created a build up. I very seriously doubt he's having such a hard time because of that one specific girl.

    0|0
    0|0
    • He is though. He doesn't miss his original EX at all right now. She lost weight, got prettier, happier, etc too.

  • I'd say quality. Time is important too, but not as important as actually being in love with the person you're with.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Definitely the quality.. but of course as you spent more time with a person, you get to know a lot about them. You get to see things that you didn't see at first and don't really like and it somehow affects the relationship you have with the person. Unlike when the relationship is still fresh, it's always the best foot forward, it's exciting and more intimate.

    In short, the quality of the relationship changes with time.

    0|0
    0|0
  • The length of your relationship does not matter if you had a really great time or if it was a waste of time. The quality affects the whole relationship altogether.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Definitely the more fulfilling relationship.

    0|0
    0|0
  • B all the way

    0|0
    0|0
  • Definitely quality of the relationship...he probably fell in love in the 2nd case + that's why is so difficult to move on...

    0|0
    0|0
  • B) we were friends 7 months dated for 2 months. He was everything to me we were just busy at the time, here 5 years later I'm still not over it

    0|0
    0|0
    • Is he over you? Why aren't you with him?

    • I don't know if he is or not I don't have the balls to ask him lol

  • I think it depends on the person. I personally wouldn't stay in a relationship long if it wasn't a quality relationship, so to me, time = quality. The longer I'm with someone, the better the relationship.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It's not that the new girl was quality. It's that they only dated for such a short period of time, he didn't have the chance to really get to know her and have the novelty factor fade. With the girl of 6 years, he got a chance to really know her and the novelty wore off. They likely had more of a quality relationship though. The new girl hadn't been around for long enough for his "idea" of her to go away. He's more in love with the dream and the unknown than the person.

    0|1
    0|0
Loading... ;