Thoughts of boyfriend dying. Intuition or paranoia? How can you tell between the two?

My boyfriend recently got a new job as a package delivery driver for UPS. He told me that part of his route included east Oakland, which is known locally as a bad neighborhood. Ever since then I've had this thought running through my mind saying that he'll die soon, or more specifically says, "I feel like you're going to die soon." The thought freaks me out and I've even cried in front of my boyfriend on a few occasions whenever the thought has run through my mind. No matter how much I try to convince myself that he'll be okay, I just can't seem to shake this thought out of my mind. Even when I look at him sometimes, it's like my mind is already thinking he'll be gone soon. Like when we're kissing, I sometimes start thinking, "I'm really going to miss this." It freaks me out. I really don't want to lose him. My friends think I'm just stressing out too much.

But I can't help but wonder, is this thought I'm having intuition or paranoia? How can you tell between the two?
Update: I'm a naturally anxious person and have been seeing a therapist for my anxiety issues. This thought of my boyfriend dying came about just as I thought my anxiety issues re my health and mortality were subsiding, which makes me more confused about this thought I'm having.


Most Helpful Guy

  • It's just paranoia. Don't worry.

    Your boyfriend will be just fine.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm not an expert, but it sounds like intuition based on the fact that it seems so resolute, "I feel like you're going to die soon." rather than, "I'm worried you could get killed."

    I've spoken to two different people who are away from their families. Both had dreams where a particular family member was ill or in distress, and upon calling home they found that their dream had been accurate. Of course I can't be sure that they were telling the truth, but I believe they were.

    I suggest you tell your boyfriend what your feeling and maybe ask him to change routes. Then if something happens, at least you tried to do something.

    • I don't have dreams of him dying. It's just a thought that always passes. I've told him about it and he just tells me to try to think positive and that if he sees anything he doesn't like, he'll quit. Since he's new to the job he can't bid on a new route until at least two years.

    • Oh, well that changes things. Considering you're a naturally anxious person, I'd suggest you take some comfort in what your boyfriend has said, 1) He's going to be extra careful and 2) If it's bad, he'll just leave.

      Maybe discuss this new fear with your therapist to help you manage it?

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What Guys Said 1

  • You're getting paranoid over what might happen when it probably won't happen. Your boyfriend will be fine.


What Girls Said 1

  • Have you ever been threatened in your life?


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