What's the deal here?

To start, I have been dating my boyfriend for almost a year now. Which is awesome and a great accomplishment to have made it a whole year without ripping each others head off. I feel we have come very close and wonder if it scares him. He has seemed distant for awhile, I know he's not cheating or anything. Just wondered if maybe he's overwhelmed and hasn't had the time to feel like himself, for he just started a new career and it's really taking off. He has been so busy it has made me feel neglected or as if our relationship is coming to end, as much as that scares. I would just hate to waste such a good thing we have going and hope it is just our first rough patch. I feel confident he has not lost interest but wonder what is going on with him. He has also explained to me he has just been busy, which is understandable but could it be something else?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well I think the distance you are feeling has something to do with the new job. He probably putting so much effort and attention into the job that he is neglecting you a bit.

    Or it could be that after the first year he's started to feel comfortable and doesn't realize that the effort he was putting in initially has lessened recently.

    I would really try to communicate with him and find out where he's at. Try to think of specific examples where you have felt like less of a priority or less important to him. Don't confront him as much as just explain how you have been feeling. Let him know you understand that the new job requires a lot of his attention and you are very happy that he has found something to sink his teeth into but you are just starting to feel like you may be being put on the back burner.

    Try to be patient and let him know that you are willing to be patient while he gets situated in the new job, but you like him a lot and feel really great about the two of you but that you are also a little worried

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What Guys Said 1

  • well for starters, I got my new promotion this year and I haven't distanced myself from my friends. I am currently not dating anyone so that's why I said friends.

    Another thing is, when I got another promotion 2 years ago, I was with someone, and I still didn't distance myself from my girlfriend at the time, even though I was taking on newer and bigger roles.

    Does he just come up with excuses not to see you? Does he still make time for his friends? and just single you out. If that's the case, then he's not that into you, or he's losing interest. If that is the case, then I would suggest saying something to him. If it continues I'm pretty sure you know what kind of decision you would have to make.

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    • We make time on th weekends and I give him his freedom but maybe he is beginning to take advantage. He may not even realize it. Great advice, thank you.

    • Judging on the reply that you gave to the lady below. And I quote "Once a week and a few text messages here and there" I would say this isn't such a good sign.. Not to give your chances of success a shorter line, but to give you greater heads up.

What Girls Said 1

  • how busy? how often do you see each other?

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    • Once a week and a few text messages here and there.

    • i don't blame you for being concerned..no one is that busy

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